You Know You're the Parent of a Toddler When... - Page 2

[NewCrunchyDaddy]

Originally Posted by Sierra

...you start worrying when you hear mysterious, hysterical laughter coming from the other room (especially when you think there might be pets in there).

or ... worse yet ... you start worrying when you realize you haven't heard from your DC in what seems like a very. very. loooooong. time. and then realize ... they're not in the room with you

Originally Posted by Sierra

...your computer screen is covered in fingerprints.

...you have decided fingerprints on the windows really should be a trendy look one of these days.

You mean people actually have windows and computer screens without fingerprints?

Originally Posted by Sierra

...you didn't know you had a yardstick, but one day, you find one laying around in the living room (apparently, it was leaning against the wall in the front hall closet and you just never noticed).

:

[earthmama369]

You find yourself telling your child to take the fork out of her nose, the phone out of her potty (thankfully empty), and the food out of her baby brother's face.

You find yourself in a state of continual amazement at how much your child can do, say, and understand.

Goldfish crackers are EVERYWHERE.

[mimiharshe]

...when you walk in on your ds picking your cell phone up out of the toilet.:

...when you turn around and see all the contents of your wallet/purse spread around the living room floor.

...when you hear every single bin being dumped out in their room and then are told, "but mom, it's for monkeys!"

...when you realize nothing of yours is sacred anymore (or as important )

...when you make sacrifices you never thought you could to make sure your kids/family comes first!:

[crazyeight]

...food cans become step stools and the tink of them being organized means dc is standing on them to get his snacks
....everything of yours must be attached at all times.....car keys, cell phone, remotes are always right beside me!
......baby sister must be covered with a blanket cause mommy does it
....cars are bedtime buddys (and subsequently fall OUT of bed in the middle of the night giving me a heart attack!!)

[cheeseRjedi]

...when you have to make sure there is nothing valuable in the diaper pail before doing the laundry.

...when you realize there really is no point in trying to clean up until after your child is in bed.

...when you haven't taken a shower by yourself in a week.

[rosie_plus_one]

... when you keep the toilet paper on the counter instead of on the paper roll on purpose, not because you are too lazy.

... when you keep your remote controls in ziplock bags so when they are put in the toilet, you don't have to buy a new one.

... when you are searching through your pantry and every drawer in the kitchen to find a pacifier at 3:30 in the morning.

It just started for me; I'm not sure if I am ready for another year or two of this!!!

[NewCrunchyDaddy]

Originally Posted by rosie_plus_one

... when you keep the toilet paper on the counter instead of on the paper roll on purpose, not because you are too lazy.

: That's the way it is in out house (ETA: I was going to change this, to "our" house, but I think it's funnier the original way ) ... and he still gets a hold of it! :

Originally Posted by rosie_plus_one

It just started for me; I'm not sure if I am ready for another year or two of this!!!

Just started for us too, DS is 1yo+a month and some and he's the terror of the household, running everywhere, pulling drawers out in tiers so he can try to climb up to counters, nightstands (pictures here), everything. I don't know if I can keep up! :

Just thought of another...

...when DS uses the dog as a step-stool to climb into his drawers. Pictures here.

[SerafinasMommy]

When you have to peel the stickers off of your clothes, body, and hair before showering.

[tinkinpink84]

you open your fridge to find your childs marker collection in there.

you just bought 20 sippy cups and cant find a single one. ( i seriously dont know where they go besides one that got lost at the hospital yesterday lmao)

youve dug silverware out of your toilet bowl. (ive done this at my sisters before i had kids , her daughter was 18 mths old)

you noticed apopsicle stick in your computer camera card slot.

there are foam alphabet letters stuck all over your bathtub that you have to dig out if u want a relaxing bath by yourself minus the letters.

its funny how they just do crazy things lol and the thigns you find in the oddest places. i have found markers and toys in my fridge my son will stick them in there for aplace to put it while he grabs an apple lol

[tinkinpink84]

Originally Posted by cheeseRjedi

...when you have to make sure there is nothing valuable in the diaper pail before doing the laundry.

...when you realize there really is no point in trying to clean up until after your child is in bed.

...when you haven't taken a shower by yourself in a week.

the only time i get a shower on my own is when my husbands home other wise its a bath with the kid and all his toys and foam letters and being splashed in the face but eh if it gets ya clean it works lol, he can escape his playpen and climb baby gates so its about the only way i can get a bath and him too

[an_aurora]

...when anything goes missing, the first place you look is the drawer under the oven.

...you look up from washing your face just in time to see DD dunk her toothbrush into the toilet and stick it back into her mouth, and you don't throw up.

[tinkinpink84]

man oh man i could go on and on but i got some more


when you are trying to cook dinner and do the dishes and you have to balance with one foot on the oven door to keep your child from opening it.

jumping up to find out what your childs gotten into when its completely silent (silence is never good with toddlers theyre usually up to something)

youve never used the bathroom with the door shut, your kid thinks youve left them forever and are never coming back so u have to leave it open so they know your still there.

you cant put a dresser in there room because they use the drawers as steps.

you put them to sleep in there bed but when u get them up in the morning they are asleep on the floor or halfway under there bed.

you find them playing in there room naked in the morning when you though thtey were still asleep and realized theres a toddler sized pile of poo on there floor . (this happened the day after thanksgiving, my son was squatted on the floor playing with his toys naked and had pooped on the floor lol)

he now thinks theres a baby in his belly when you tell him theres one in yours( for the preggo moms that have a toddler already) i have to reteach my son that he has a belly and not a baby in there .

you got a bruise on your head from your child throwing a toy at you .

you find a whole roll of paper towels unraveled in your kitchen.

you start using your good shirts to wipe your childs snotty nose while your out in public.

most things you hand to pay for at a store are soggy with drool because it kept your kid quiet in the store.

the cd in you car is a fisher price one talking about jumping elephants etc.

you know every theme song to all the cartoons and youve seen each one at least 10 times and could make your own movie of it yourself word for word.

[Kelly1216]

when you have to check he VCR for cds before putting in a movie.

When dh's cousin brings your dd to you at the family Thanksgiving party while holding her a foot away from him. Upon questioning, you find out that she was found standing in the toilet bowl splashing.

When you magically acquire the ability to heal any owie with a kiss, and your saliva has mysterious cleansing properties to it and can also be used as a quick hair gel.

I love this thread!!

[emma_goldman]

You learn how to take out your contacts in the dark while your toddler learns how to turn the light on and off again in the bathroom!

[Sierra]

Originally Posted by emma_goldman

You learn how to take out your contacts in the dark while your toddler learns how to turn the light on and off again in the bathroom!

I relate, although I never get a chance to take out my contacts in the bathroom anymore, at least not since dfd (11 months younger than ds) arrived. I am usually chasing one or the other around for some reason or another while silmultaneously taking out my contacts *and* brushing my teeth (and sometimes ds' teeth at the same time).

Minimal mirror use at my house=frazzled looking, but functioning mama.

[living_organic]

Originally Posted by cheeseRjedi

...when you haven't taken a shower by yourself in a week.

Really? I haven't bathed alone since dd learned to walk.

[artgoddess]

You nearly break your neck tripping over the letter "K" on the way to the bathroom in the dark.

[NewCrunchyDaddy]

Originally Posted by artgoddess

You nearly break your neck tripping over the letter "K" on the way to the bathroom in the dark.

This near-death experience was brought to you today by the letters "K" and "W" and the number "5."

:

[^guest^]

...you are wearing a diaper on your head in a desperate attempt to get them close enough for a butt-change without a struggle (yes. I did.)

...you choose to let them eat the dog biscuit they were supposed to be giving to the puppy, instead of taking it away and inciting a screaming bout of tantrums, because....well it's not going to kill them and they'll realize it doesn't taste very good eventually, right? Right?

...you can do EVERYTHING one handed, and have become quite proficient at using nothing but your hip to drive a shopping cart.

[Amandamarie]

your toddler is bringing you toys and stuffed animals to nurse

after you've taken off your clothes to take a bath and are checking the bath temperature and you turn around and see your dd with your underwear around her neck like a necklace

when you can't find any measuring spoons or cup and have to search your dd's toy bins.