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You Know You're the Parent of a Toddler When... - Page 3

post #41 of 940
nursing a child who is hanging over your shoulder, upside-down, at the breast, seems normal and you forget to notice.
post #42 of 940
Thread Starter 
About a month and a half ago, Tina Fey (of SNL and 30 Rock and Mean Girls fame) was on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and he asked her about her daughter (who is about 1yo). Ms. Fey said having a toddler in the house is like living with a drunken midget. They're stumbling around knocking things off of shelves and tables, screaming, crying, yelling when they don't get their way...

That's exactly what life with a toddler is like. :
post #43 of 940
haha i have heard the drunken midget refferal.

i got some more.....

when all your cookies , foods etc come in the shape of spongebob or scooby doo or some other cartoon character. (gotta love spongebob cheeze its)

you cant eat anything by yourself, your always sharing it . ( a good way to lose weight i suppose)

everything in your house starts about 3ft off the floor if its breakable

your coffee table becomes fun to dance on.

youve fallen over a baby gate more then once and your child is laughing there butt off at you for doing it

your kid insists on bringing the potatoe masher to bed, or the most annoying toy with them to the store .

everything is a telephone

none of your crayons have tips on them anymore and your child has rainbow poop

youve answered your door with a naked kid standing at your side covered in washable marker.

youve been handed prechewed food because they wanted to share with you.
post #44 of 940
haha i have heard the drunken midget refferal.

i got some more.....

when all your cookies , foods etc come in the shape of spongebob or scooby doo or some other cartoon character. (gotta love spongebob cheeze its)

you cant eat anything by yourself, your always sharing it . ( a good way to lose weight i suppose)

everything in your house starts about 3ft off the floor if its breakable

your coffee table becomes fun to dance on.

youve fallen over a baby gate more then once and your child is laughing there butt off at you for doing it

your kid insists on bringing the potatoe masher to bed, or the most annoying toy with them to the store .

everything is a telephone

none of your crayons have tips on them anymore and your child has rainbow poop

youve answered your door with a naked kid standing at your side covered in washable marker.

youve been handed prechewed food because they wanted to share with you.
post #45 of 940
sorry for the double post my computer was acting up i think or my son was pressing keys i cant remember wich one lmao
post #46 of 940
: These are so funny! I have a few too...

... when you find yourself saying things like "Don't lick the dog, I don't care if he licked you first"
... when all of your cook books are jammed in the book case so tightly you can't even get them out
... YOUR bed has guardrails, stuffed animals and a "special blankie"
... You find yourself swaying and humming "Down By the Bay" while waiting in line at the bank. Alone.
... You go to pay the cashier and have to take all the buttons, pink plastic earrings, barbie shoes and little cars out of your change purse to give her correct change.
... You have a crayons and legos in every bag, just in case you need them. Same with baby wipes, snack crackers and an emergency juice box
post #47 of 940
When you have to tell dc that no you cannot drink the dogs water or please do not put your milk inhis water he doesnt like it that way.
post #48 of 940
...the dishwasher is constantly on b/c your toddler learned how to turn the knob to start it.(we have to have the lever at the lock position or she will throw all the silverware on the floor

...you have to tape drawers shut.

...there are tape cases in the vcr.

...there are socks in the fridge. I guess she wanted them chilled .
post #49 of 940
- it is eerily quiet - so you walk in on your child in front of the cats food bowl - immediately when he/she sees you - they stuff as much pet food in their mouths.

http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b1.../kittyfood.jpg

It makes his coat shiny.
post #50 of 940
:
post #51 of 940
you don't HAVE a christmas tree, because your toddler is known for lunging at them and trying to take them down.
post #52 of 940
...when you know that all the missing puzzle pieces can be found in the floor vent.

...when you walk through your kitchen barefoot and the bottoms of your feet are covered with sand, even though you sweep at least 5 times a day.

...when you spend more time saying "we don't eat glue/sand/paper/crayons/kleenex/dirt/grass/rocks/christmas tree ornaments" then you do saying "what would you like for lunch?"
post #53 of 940
you know you're parent of a toddler when...

...pinning a diaper onto a prone, sleeping child in the dark (without waking him!) doesn't seem like such an amazing feat anymore.

christina
post #54 of 940
Quote:
Originally Posted by katherinezuels View Post
- it is eerily quiet - so you walk in on your child in front of the cats food bowl - immediately when he/she sees you - they stuff as much pet food in their mouths.

http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b1.../kittyfood.jpg

It makes his coat shiny.

My daughter has done this with dog food!
post #55 of 940
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by tinkinpink84 View Post
your coffee table becomes fun to dance on.

youve fallen over a baby gate more then once and your child is laughing there butt off at you for doing it
These two are daily occurances at our house, though the baby gate less so now that it's been moved out of the kitchen doorway and into the doorway of the office/library ... less traffic.

Quote:
Originally Posted by tinkinpink84 View Post
none of your crayons have tips on them anymore and your child has rainbow poop
Hasn't happened yet but I'm just waiting...

Here's another...

...when the box you could have sworn you put in the trash is now on the living room floor.
post #56 of 940
--you get a feeling of dread when unefficient less skilled dh, who is dealing with the baby while you have a moment alone, calls out to you and says, "Honey! Get me a rag!"

--Every small tidbit that is found (cotton balls, cheerios, etc) is "hot" and needs to be blown off before being played with...

--You've become very skilled at successfully sewing a diaper with one hand on the sewing machine, one foot on the foot pedal, and one outstretched hand in front of the child to keep little fingers away.

I have many more, but right now, i'm being fed oatmeal...
post #57 of 940
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by katherinezuels View Post
- it is eerily quiet - so you walk in on your child in front of the cats food bowl - immediately when he/she sees you - they stuff as much pet food in their mouths.

http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b1.../kittyfood.jpg

It makes his coat shiny.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SerafinasMommy View Post

My daughter has done this with dog food!
: It's dog and cat food at our house.

YKYtPoaTW...
...the dog and cat have gone over all twitchy and jump at the slightest noise.

...the backseat of your car is full of socks because DC pulls them off the minute he/she is strapped in to the car seat
post #58 of 940
These are great.

...when you're trying to make cookies and realize your toddler has stolen ALL of your measuring spoons (even though he has his own set) so you rummage through his special kitchen drawer and use his.

Instead of listening to NPR in the car, you listen to the Fisher Price Little People Disco Dance Party - and can even repeat word for word the conversations [I]between[I] the songs.

...when trying to locate your hairbrush, you check the toybox first.
post #59 of 940
...You've ever uttered the phrases, "No Honey, Don't pee-pee on the floor. No..No! (groan) Ok then, here, wipe it up," or "No, honey, Don't drink the kitty's water. That water is for the kitties."

...You have nursed any variety of things, including but not limited to: stuffed hippos/monkeys/frogs/bears/ducks, Thomas the Train, Little People figures, plastic anthromorphic dumptrucks, and wooden firemen.


..You've ever found your missing car keys in the cat's litter box.


...Your 'baby' sees a milk truck and says, "Ooh, look mama, Milk truck! Its taking Mama Milk to all the little babies."


...the cats have been hiding for weeks because your child has decided to try and find their bellybuttons ("Mama, meow-meow have a beebo? Under da fur?")


Quote:
Originally Posted by an_aurora View Post
...when anything goes missing, the first place you look is the drawer under the oven.
Man, the STUFF I've found in the drawer under the oven...
post #60 of 940
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaHippo View Post
...the cats have been hiding for weeks because your child has decided to try and find their bellybuttons ("Mama, meow-meow have a beebo? Under da fur?")
:
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