You Know You're the Parent of a Toddler When... - Page 35

[NewCrunchyDaddy]

Time to this thread again...

[guestmama9911]

YKYTPOATW...

You can tell how long it has been since you cleaned out the car by the strata underneath your toddler's car seat...

[linguistmama]

DD1: "What does the baby smell like?"
Me: "Um, like a baby."
DD1: "NO! She smells like poop!"

And the baby wasn't even poopy! Besides the baby's poop smells like buttered popcorn :

[guestmama9911]

When there are more toys in the back yard then there are in the toy room.

[Mollyma]

Hilarious! Thanks for sharing everyone and great thread to the papa who started it! I find myself wanting to be on par with everyone's comments and I think I'm so overcome by every toddler's and parents realities of daily life, I can't think straight!

[Mommy2Austin]

YKYTPOATW....

"Uh-Oh" brings a host of scenarios of whats happened into your head.

Silence is no longer relaxing for you. It scares the pants off you!! LOL

[Carlyle]

You would voluntarily pee into an empty salad bowl in the backseat of a moving car rather than stop the car and risk waking the sleeping toddler...

(I am laughing so hard at this thread! Especially the "did you get the clap from daddy?" from post 657...OMG, I was rolling! Thanks all for sharing the stories!

[Novella]

Originally Posted by EnviroBecca

...when you mention to your partner that it's probably about time for a diaper change, and your child pats his crotch (outside all clothing) and says firmly, "Seems dry."

...when you get a big hug and kiss from your partner as you leave for work every single day, because your child insists.

OK, I don't even need to read most of the 35 pages b/c I'm pretty sure these are the BEST TWO. . . for opposite reasons, obviously! Thanks!

[guestmama9944]

Ykytpoatw

When you're amongst grown-ups and catch yourself using words like "ucky" and don't even realize until later.

My dad prides himself on his truck. He says you could eat off his floorboards, they're so clean. So what? You can eat off MY floorboards too. There's actually food there. :

I can remember when my husband was grossed out by the littlest thing. A while ago we were in a restaurant and one of the girls started making those pre-puking noises. No where to go, nothing to grab, so he just reached over and caught it in his bare hands. Didn't even flinch. Good times

[macca333]

-You find cardboard tubes down the toilet.

-You are dressed immaculately until breakfast starts.

-Cleaning poop off walls is a weekly occurence.

- You find that banana squished in a plantpot.

-Yu have fun filled days with a precious gift !!:

[mean_jeannie]

Originally Posted by wendyjoe

My dad prides himself on his truck. He says you could eat off his floorboards, they're so clean. So what? You can eat off MY floorboards too. There's actually food there. :

I can remember when my husband was grossed out by the littlest thing. A while ago we were in a restaurant and one of the girls started making those pre-puking noises. No where to go, nothing to grab, so he just reached over and caught it in his bare hands. Didn't even flinch. Good times

yeah, those are hilarious!

[elisheva]

You've had to field phone calls from the 911 operator about how your 16 month old managed to dial "9112" and hit talk. "No, maam, there's no emergency..."

[DklovesMkandJK]

Originally Posted by Hippie Mama in MI

When driving 5 miles to the store (for milk) without the baby is "me time".

When most of your sex life takes place on the sofa instead of in your bed, because ds is IN your bed.

When you find yourself wondering if a child might be poisoned by eating underarm deodorant.

.

yeah, that.

We chucke when people sit on out couch because it is the usual sex spot.(hey, we lay down a blanket):

Nope - not poisionous. Apparently pretty yucky but not dangerous.....at least according to the PA poision control hotline


YKYTPOATW:

You catch yourself singing some annoying children's song.
Loudly.
In the grocery store.
By yourself.


You spell all swear words, regardless of who you're talking to.

You just smile and shake your head when you hear the childless discuss what 'their children' will and will not do. Then laugh openly when you and your girlfriends talk about your own 'lists' from before your kids were born.
(I was never going to have a baby in my bed

[Doula Dani]

Originally Posted by macca333

-Cleaning poop off walls is a weekly occurence.

Man, that is officially my least favorite part of having a toddler. I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one clean poop off walls though!

[Doula Dani]

Originally Posted by DklovesMkandJK

You just smile and shake your head when you hear the childless discuss what 'their children' will and will not do. Then laugh openly when you and your girlfriends talk about your own 'lists' from before your kids were born.
(I was never going to have a baby in my bed

Hallelujah sister!

[Doula Dani]

Ok- serial posting!

Ykytpoatw-

You're no longer frightened of the child choking on things, and when the child DOES choke on things, you can reach over with one hand, beat them on the back until the thing comes up, all without taking your eyes off of your book.

[Pumpkin_Pie]

YKYTPOATW-

All of your kitchen chairs are lying on the floor on their sides, and most of your living room furniture too. Oh, and the stroller too, just for good measure.

You find yourself actually saying, "Please don't kiss the kitty's bum Sweetie".

You squat down on your lawn to pee rather than tear your toddler kicking and screaming from his sandbox to go inside with you.

[Pumpkin_Pie]

You think nothing of chewing something up and then fishing a big chunk of it out of your mouth and offering your toddler a "taste". (DS loves anything that comes out of my mouth. )

[kirstenb]

You no longer flinch when your toddler grabs a large handful of dirt and starts to eat it.

You are constantly finding small toys and utensils in your kitchen trash.

[Shazer]

You have no difficulty eating the remains of your child's lunch so you won't waste food - whether the remains are covered in slobber or partially chewed.