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You Know You're the Parent of a Toddler When... - Page 36

post #701 of 940
Quote:
Originally Posted by kirstenb View Post
You are constantly finding small toys and utensils in your kitchen trash.
We have to check the trash every time we are ready to take it out - there is inevitably a toy or other treasure in there!
post #702 of 940
: Don't I know it! We recently lost the blue guy to our wooden people mover and are missing one Swaddlebees OCV diaper ($24!). I have turned.this.house.upside.down. I asked DS1 if he threw them away and he said "yes" and smiled devilishly. Awesome. I am inclined to believe him, even though he's never done that before. The trash can now lives on the kitchen counter.
post #703 of 940
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eben'sMama View Post
: Don't I know it! We recently lost the blue guy to our wooden people mover and are missing one Swaddlebees OCV diaper ($24!). I have turned.this.house.upside.down. I asked DS1 if he threw them away and he said "yes" and smiled devilishly. Awesome. I am inclined to believe him, even though he's never done that before. The trash can now lives on the kitchen counter.
We have nearly 200 Schelich animal figurines that we have collected for DS and there are some that are now missing that I cannot find, and I think they've gone to the big landfill in the sky now. :
post #704 of 940
Quote:
Originally Posted by DklovesMkandJK View Post
yeah, that.

We chucke when people sit on out couch because it is the usual sex spot.(hey, we lay down a blanket):

Nope - not poisionous. Apparently pretty yucky but not dangerous.....at least according to the PA poision control hotline


YKYTPOATW:

You catch yourself singing some annoying children's song.
Loudly.
In the grocery store.
By yourself.


You spell all swear words, regardless of who you're talking to.

You just smile and shake your head when you hear the childless discuss what 'their children' will and will not do. Then laugh openly when you and your girlfriends talk about your own 'lists' from before your kids were born.
(I was never going to have a baby in my bed
This post could have been written on my behalf. Everything above is accurate. I actually found someone that sang with me in my grocery store... I was so embarressed and I stopped singing.

My kid brother was in the car with me a few days ago, and asked if I had can CDs. Before thinking, I proudly said yes, and pulled out "Wee Sing in the Car" Toddler Favorites.
post #705 of 940
...when you spend part of the night asleep at the foot of the bed, because your toddler rolled over into your spot while you took a potty break, and you don't want to risk waking him or the baby up.

My back hurts today...
post #706 of 940
...when you hear, "

Some balls dancing here,
Some balls dancing here,
Some balls dancing here,
Rah, rah, rah, rah, rah.

No balls dancing here,
No balls dancing here,
No balls dancing here,
Rah, rah, rah, rah, rah.

More balls dancing here,
More balls dancing here,
More balls dancing here,
Rah, rah, rah, rah, rah.

One ball dancing here,
One ball dancing here,
One ball dancing here,
Rah, rah, rah, rah, rah."

as you scroll through this thread. When you ask for clarification, "Are you singing, "Rah, rah, rah" or "La, la, la"?, being told,

"I am not singing. I am going to sleep."

:
post #707 of 940
...when you hear, "Mama, my belly's growling." When you respond, "I don't hear anything", sound effects are added, "Growl, growl, growl..."

...when you MUST stop to watch "the bulldozer because it is working so hard, Mama!"

...when "the construction machines are sleeping, Mama!"

...when you are tired of hearing, "Mama. Mama! Mama. Mama. Mama! Mama. Mama! Mama." without a break in between so you could respond...

...when DS announces to you, "I am a beautiful princess" and all you can do is agree...
post #708 of 940
...you thank your DD enthusiastically for putting away your deodorant in the drawer. a dozen times in a row. every time you walk into the bathroom.

...instead of getting upset when someone jabs their finger in your eye, you excitedly say, "Yes, that's Mommy's eye!"

...you put random objects that are handed to you on top of your head, and leave them there. Your DP doesn't comment when you're walking around later with a washcloth on your head, even though your child isn't in the room.

...you've seriously wondered how long a person could live on a diet of cheerios, potting soil, and junk mail.

...you actually think it's cute when someone is excitedly fingerpainting in their own vomit on the kitchen floor.

...you don't bother putting away the square plastic bowls. You hand them straight to your DD because you've accepted that they all belong piled next to the cat's food.

...you understand that any time a bottle of any kind is set down without it falling over, you must immediately stop what you are doing and clap. Even when you are the one setting it down.

...you spend a significant portion of your day bartering to try to get your own possessions back without a meltdown.
post #709 of 940
I love this thread! How VALIDATING!!!

I remember when my son was a toddler and we were at the mall sitting on a bench in the center area where there was a TV. There were many people around us doing the same. A tampon commercial comes on and my son LOUDLY says, "Mommy!! You use those kind!!!!!" And I sweetly smile at him while everyone looks on snickering.

One time this same son had his back turned to us and wouldn't turn around. We asked him a couple of times to turn around but he ignored us. Finally I said, "What are you doing?!" He sighed very loudly, clearly frustrated and said, "I'm playing with my penis!!" Oh, sorry we were interrupting!!
post #710 of 940
Quote:
Originally Posted by puddle View Post
...you've seriously wondered how long a person could live on a diet of cheerios, potting soil, and junk mail.

...you don't bother putting away the square plastic bowls. You hand them straight to your DD because you've accepted that they all belong piled next to the cat's food.

...you spend a significant portion of your day bartering to try to get your own possessions back without a meltdown.
Yes to all of those! I don't even bother looking items in the kitchen drawers anymore... I just assume they have all migrated to the floor!
post #711 of 940
laughup

You've gotta love em haven't ya !!
post #712 of 940
...during playtime you are wearing bunny ears and vacuuming your nose with a toy lawnmower while wearing a cow puppet on your hand - all at your toddler's insistence.

...you are praying silently that the nice stranger at Target isn't able to understand that what your son is actually screaming is "mama's naked!"
post #713 of 940
...you have to move like a ninja to sneak the dishes in the dishwasher as the racks move quickly back and forth.

...it's 3:00 p.m. and you can't figure out why all you've gotten done today is grating some zucchini.
post #714 of 940
Oh this is a great thread. I've finished page 8. Have to come back for the rest later.

ETA: now I've finished through page 12.

ETA: now I'm done w/ page 18.

ETA: Done w/ page 22.

ETA: Now I'm up through page 29.
post #715 of 940
When you have to type the words "s-uirrel," "-uail," and "-uack" like this because someone has decided to remove that letter from the keyboard.
post #716 of 940
DS: what is that mom?
Me: what is what?
DS: those creases between your eyes?

DS: you have a boo-boo
Me: no, that is a freckle
DS: where is my freckle?
Me: you are too young, you don't have any.

DS: you have a boo-boo (starting to pick at it)
Me: ouch! No, that's my mole.
DS: does it hurt? (still picking at it)
Me: No. Stop picking at it. It is part of my body.
DS: it's a boo-boo. Does it hurt? (still picking)
Me: ouch. Now it does.

Geez, I just feel younger and younger every day.
post #717 of 940
I love this thread- I keep coming back!

You need to check the floor of the shower before you step in to make sure there are no hard bath toys all over the bottom. I learned that one the hard way this morning! Good thing DS was still asleep as there was some colorful language when I stepped on his toys.
post #718 of 940
...you check your cup that might have been sitting on the table near DS, because he might have put food in it.
post #719 of 940
. . .When you are laughing with tears rolling down your face, because not only is this thread so funny, but your 2yo is standing right beside you also laughing hysterically, and it's even funnier because you know he has NO idea what you're both laughing at.


This actually happened. . . twice. :



. . .When your DS is eating watermelon while he sits on the baby potty naked. He looks down, and then gets up, hands me the watermelon and starts clapping. Me- oh, did you make pee?
DS- yeah!- me, dat!
me- good job!, lets go flush it!
So we troup upstairs to flush the pee, and when I dump it in the toilet. . . it's pink! He had so much watermelon juice dripping down his belly, and off the end of his penis, he and I BOTH thought he'd peed!
post #720 of 940
One from today...

...you look everywhere for the credit card your lo snagged from you wallet this morning, but can't find it. After your lo is in bed you decide to take her toothbrush out of the bathtub and put it away. There in the tub, next to the toothbrush and a bunch of toys is the missing credit card!
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