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You Know You're the Parent of a Toddler When... - Page 37

post #721 of 940
...when you prepare to leave the house, by putting on your shoes, grabbing your purse or diaper bag, grabbing a snack for ds, then you move the couch to look behind it to find your keys that ds has dropped back there.

...or you ask DS where your keys are, because they are not behind the couch this time... DS reaches inisde his toy box, and pulls out your keys, your wallet, his left shoe, and a snack... eww gross...
post #722 of 940
ykytpoatw:

you find a cracker in the CD player and you are NOT surprised.

when you tampons & mommy pads are seeing a LOT of action even though you haven't had your period since june 2006!

You child knows one sign and does it for everything he wants you know what he means based on context. (ball, water, cracker, juice, breastmilk, etc..)

you love the inventor of the locking kitchen trashcan because it's saving your sanity.. and dread the day your child can unlock it.

for your sanity sake you now have toddler locks not only on cabinets and toilets, but also on the printer and CD player.

You've discovered bubble time is more for your sanity than for his fun and have bought more bubble wands, bottles of bubble mixture & even a bubble gun just for you, so when he is outside playing you can have fun.

you definately know you are the parent of a toddler when.. you've told your DH about this thread..and he tells you new answers for you to post or that are now relevant to your situation.
post #723 of 940
Well, here is a weird one:

You call the car dealership (because you plan to buy a car) and explain to the Car Dealer, that he needs to have some deals in mind, and be straight, because you are bringing your 2 year old DS with you, and you don't intend on being there long.

I brought snacks, and toys. When I arrived at the Dealership, the Dealer actually kept his word, and DS screamed loudly almost at the end of the deal, and we were finished with a good deal, rather quickly (quicker than when I purchased my first car).

So, I guess, I knew that I was a parent of a toddler, when the car sale was less intimidating, than the thought of my toddler having a melt down in the dealership (where his cries would possibly echo). , my threats of echoing cries worked... I got a really good rate, and a good car.
post #724 of 940
When you realize that you can stand in the shower washing your hair with your nursing toddler propped on one knee without getting soap in anyone's eyes
post #725 of 940
Quote:
Originally Posted by J's Mombee View Post
Well, here is a weird one:

You call the car dealership (because you plan to buy a car) and explain to the Car Dealer, that he needs to have some deals in mind, and be straight, because you are bringing your 2 year old DS with you, and you don't intend on being there long.

I brought snacks, and toys. When I arrived at the Dealership, the Dealer actually kept his word, and DS screamed loudly almost at the end of the deal, and we were finished with a good deal, rather quickly (quicker than when I purchased my first car).

So, I guess, I knew that I was a parent of a toddler, when the car sale was less intimidating, than the thought of my toddler having a melt down in the dealership (where his cries would possibly echo). , my threats of echoing cries worked... I got a really good rate, and a good car.
I love it!! That's a great negotiating tactic

YKYTPOATW
- you see a parade of classic cars and think they all look like Hot Wheels!
- you just simply say 'Thank you' when DS gives the 'milkies' a kiss (or 10) when you're grocery shopping and he's sitting in the cart
post #726 of 940
sign of parenting a baby and/or toddler (or two :-)

When a person enters the house, unfortunately he/she may still get a blast of poop smell hile you don't even notice it anymore when it's just the residue of the original smell

After changing your child's diaper and having thoroughly washed your hands at least twice after, you may find they're still smelly

(sorry if you just had breakfast)
post #727 of 940
Quote:
Originally Posted by J's Mombee View Post
Well, here is a weird one:

You call the car dealership (because you plan to buy a car) and explain to the Car Dealer, that he needs to have some deals in mind, and be straight, because you are bringing your 2 year old DS with you, and you don't intend on being there long.

So, I guess, I knew that I was a parent of a toddler, when the car sale was less intimidating, than the thought of my toddler having a melt down in the dealership (where his cries would possibly echo). , my threats of echoing cries worked... I got a really good rate, and a good car.
I LOVE this! I never thought of it before! I'm going to start using it now for all my appointments! I'm going to call first and say I'm bringing my 2 year old, and he likes to scream in public like a howler monkey, really loud and piercing, so be prepared to take me right away!
post #728 of 940
You tell your boss, right before a meeting, "hold on a sec, I have to go to the potty"

or

After a particularly long and tiring day, you offer the bib to your teenager at dinnertime instead of your two year old (I actually did this one once)...my teenage daughter just said, "okaaay mom, you've had a long day".
post #729 of 940
Quote:
Originally Posted by debmac69 View Post
After a particularly long and tiring day, you offer the bib to your teenager at dinnertime instead of your two year old (I actually did this one once)...my teenage daughter just said, "okaaay mom, you've had a long day".
I do this all the time with my two teens (I also have a baby, toddler, and am pg). I've handed them bottles before, bibs, napkins, you name it. They just think I've lost it.

I've got a couple...

You are reading to your toddler and it takes an hour just to get through 2 pages (what is his name? why is he doing that? where is he going? why does the tree look like that? where's his mommy? does he have any friends? etc.....)

When your toddler just learned how to dial 911 and you have to tell the policeman at your door for the 2nd time that day that everything really *is* okay.
post #730 of 940
This morning, I had to wash DH's slipper because DD peed in it. It was next to her little potty, but she peed in the slipper and on the carpet, next to the potty. I thought it was funny, DH did not. I poured about 1/4 cup of pee out of the slipper. I didn't know they'd hold liquid!
post #731 of 940
Gosh this thread is hysterical!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ish'smom View Post
When you realize that you can stand in the shower washing your hair with your nursing toddler propped on one knee without getting soap in anyone's eyes
I so hear you on this one! I am constantly doing crazy balancing, juggling, multi-tasking acts, to the awe of onlookers.
post #732 of 940
I had to laugh this morning and thought of this post....

when my dd had a tantrum on the front porch because the garbage man came and, you guessed it, took the garbage away! Only a toddler would get possesive over dirty diapers and rotting garbage!
post #733 of 940
lol...subscribing to this!
post #734 of 940
I've told a coworker that he was "trying to cover his bottom". (He gave me a STRANGE look! He doesn't hang around my office much any more.....)

You have undies in the pocket of your jeans.

You go to work with a paper sheriff badge on your shirt because your child made it and it "goes with your clothes today Mommy".

You've actually had to say the words "No you can't look up my butt". (Although, why they posed that question but can't look at the floor in front of them for the toy they dropped, I'm stumped.)

and of course the ever popular: ran from a public place as fast as you can because dear child has just announced to the most conservative woman in the place that - she has a labia too!

post #735 of 940
I didn't read every page but

You know you're the parent of a toddler when you hear them playing one minute then hear silence the next~ silence usually means they got a hold of something they know they shouldn't have..
post #736 of 940
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katwoman View Post
You've actually had to say the words "No you can't look up my butt". (Although, why they posed that question but can't look at the floor in front of them for the toy they dropped, I'm stumped.)
Reminded me of the other day when I said in a public place to my toddler "not to put his hands up my shorts." He was trying to get to the nums via the shorts.
post #737 of 940
When "someone" draws on your butt with chalk while you're doing dishes in white pants and your first thought is, "oh well, it will wash." When that same someone draws on your butt with a marker while you're wearing black pants and your first thought is, "thank goodness I wasn't wearing white pants."

When you have banana threads in your hair. Regularly.

When you find yourself trying to explain why mommy's [ahem] pubic hair isn't exactly "fur," but then give up. Because you realize that it is, actually.

When you double-time it, carrying DD, for 8 blocks in 90 degree heat to catch up to the HS marching band on its practice tour of the neighborhood just to see your little girl clap and bounce with glee when she sees them.
post #738 of 940
Thread Starter 
When you don't think twice about eating the smashed pinwheel cookie you find working its way between the couch cushions.
post #739 of 940
Quote:
Originally Posted by Barbamama View Post
When "someone" draws on your butt with chalk while you're doing dishes in white pants and your first thought is, "oh well, it will wash." When that same someone draws on your butt with a marker while you're wearing black pants and your first thought is, "thank goodness I wasn't wearing white pants."

When you have banana threads in your hair. Regularly.

When you find yourself trying to explain why mommy's [ahem] pubic hair isn't exactly "fur," but then give up. Because you realize that it is, actually.

When you double-time it, carrying DD, for 8 blocks in 90 degree heat to catch up to the HS marching band on its practice tour of the neighborhood just to see your little girl clap and bounce with glee when she sees them.
Okay I had to laugh at the pubic hair part. I was too ashamed to tell anyone about this one:

DS is learning to potty, so he says, "Mommy I poop," when he needs to pee or poop.

What I recently learned was that he also thinks that pubic hairs are poop. So I find myself rushing to change clothes or get dressed, because he calls my pubes "poop." He says, "eeyoo poop!" "Daddy, mommy poop!"

I don't know why it is so embarressing to me, or why I feel so embarressed that I rush to get dressed so that he can't call it poop.
post #740 of 940
When you tell your 2yo, 'no you cannot tickle daddy's penis'

He loves to tickle himself, and we're pretty casual about nudity. The next comment from me was, 'No, Mommy does not HAVE a penis'
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