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You Know You're the Parent of a Toddler When... - Page 41

post #801 of 940
you used to think those stuffed animals disguised as a a toddler harness were cruel and a reflection of poor parenting skills. now you realize they are neccesary for your high need toddler, and when she is wearing one, you think about attaching a small plow or wagon to her, you know, to "help" out around the house.
post #802 of 940
post #803 of 940
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScarletBegonias View Post
you used to think those stuffed animals disguised as a a toddler harness were cruel and a reflection of poor parenting skills. now you realize they are neccesary for your high need toddler, and when she is wearing one, you think about attaching a small plow or wagon to her, you know, to "help" out around the house.
DS hates the "monkey" when we go to the library, but it is the only way to make sure he stays in one place. It's hard top chase a running toddler through a library with a bag full of books on your arm.



A new one: YKtPoaTW: you find your nearly 3yo DS bouncing on his toddler bed and chanting/singing "DammitDammitDammitDammitDammitDammitDammitDammit. .." while bouncing and are about to ask where he learned that word ... then realize it was from you! :
post #804 of 940
You're at the library, when you hear, 'ding' and then an alarm ringing, and you realise your toddler is now tall enough to reach all the buttons on the Elevator!
post #805 of 940
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by heidirk View Post
You're at the library, when you hear, 'ding' and then an alarm ringing, and you realise your toddler is now tall enough to reach all the buttons on the Elevator!
:

We have had many fights, my son and I, over the alarm button in the library's elevator.
post #806 of 940
I have finally finished the whole thread! Thank you, everyone. I laughed to the point of crying many many times - and I'm at my desk at work!

My contribution:

...when unusual food combinations become perfectly acceptable, and you will even prepare them that way on purpose if it will get DC to eat: peanut sesame noodles smothered in plain yogurt, bread dunked in seltzer...

...when you find yourself giving in in ways you never imagined: no, you HAVE to sit in your high chair. Okay you can sit in the grownup chair, but then you definitely have to wear a bib. Okay, you can eat without a bib this time, but afterwards you'll help clean up the food that falls on the floor. Okay? But you love the dustbuster! Come back!
post #807 of 940
Your parents from out of town come for a short visit. Clean clean clean 'til the house looks beautiful (enough). Decide that for once we won't close the bathroom door...it's all child-proofed after all. Parents arrive. Toddler says "here go!" Your father says "thank you" in a wierd voice. Turn around and your father is holding your bra from the dirty clothes hamper. Retrieve bra, put laundry hamper in your room. Close the bathroom door. And manage NOT to fall on the floor dead of embarassment.

All I can say is, at least it was my parents and not my in-laws!!!

DS is fascinated by my bra. Shortly afterwards he was sharing all his toys with the visitors, so I'm sure he was just sharing. *sigh* It's a good thing he's cute!

ps. The visual is better if you know that my bra is NOT a delicate cute lacy thing. Think DDD, gotta be up to the work kind of bra.
post #808 of 940
I can't even get through the whole thread! OH MY GOSH SOO FUNNY! ds just turned 2 today, and this brightened my oh my gosh my BABY is two blues!
post #809 of 940
Quote:
Originally Posted by heidirk View Post
You're at the library, when you hear, 'ding' and then an alarm ringing, and you realise your toddler is now tall enough to reach all the buttons on the Elevator!
OMG,My dd did this the other day. I was horrified!
post #810 of 940
You know you're the parent of a toddler when ...

Every toy owned is a cell phone...

You find her toothbrush in the dishwasher..

Cantelope is an acceptable breakfast, lunch , and dinner one day, and then it is to never be touched or eaten again.

No is the answer to everything.
post #811 of 940
Bump
post #812 of 940
Quote:
Originally Posted by 3901sca View Post
Your parents from out of town come for a short visit. Clean clean clean 'til the house looks beautiful (enough). Decide that for once we won't close the bathroom door...it's all child-proofed after all. Parents arrive. Toddler says "here go!" Your father says "thank you" in a wierd voice. Turn around and your father is holding your bra from the dirty clothes hamper. Retrieve bra, put laundry hamper in your room. Close the bathroom door. And manage NOT to fall on the floor dead of embarassment.

All I can say is, at least it was my parents and not my in-laws!!!

DS is fascinated by my bra. Shortly afterwards he was sharing all his toys with the visitors, so I'm sure he was just sharing. *sigh* It's a good thing he's cute!

ps. The visual is better if you know that my bra is NOT a delicate cute lacy thing. Think DDD, gotta be up to the work kind of bra.
That was completely hysterical...although I must say it probably would have been more completely horrifying if it HAD been a cute lacy one--the kind that might give your father the impression that your dc ISN'T actually the immaculate conception that your dad thinks he was (because there's no WAY you--his daughter--have sex, right?)
post #813 of 940
When you empty the washing machine and find that (among the other things that have fallen out of your ds' pockets) there is a frog spun WELL and plastered alllll the way around the washing drum (that would be my dh as a boy...I think my MIL had to put up with a LOT!)
post #814 of 940
OMG this is the best thread ever!! i cant stop laughing!!

when breastmilk is called ICE...

when you're at the grocery store/bank/mall on a hot summers day and your toddler starts screaming "Mom ICE.. ICE.. ICE!!" and starts lifting up your shirt or puting his hand down from the top so he can unlatch the top of your bra clip while everyone stares at the top of your now half exposed breast!
Then if ICE Doesnt work or you say in a few minutes babe then 'mom!! BOOOO! BOOO!! BOOBBB!! yum yum"

When you tell all your friends/family/acquaintances all the 'cool' new things your son does now..

When you wake up in the middle of the night before dad can even touch him... before dads even awake..to hear your son kicking dad away telling dad 'no no no! Go GO GO!! ....... mom... ice.... booo... mWAH!'
Then happily settling down in your arms getting boo... while saying one more time 'dad no no no... ' and raises your finger to make the no no no sign to dad.. (lol so much for nightweaning... )

when you eat things you dont even like that is now soggy all covered in spit... just so that his hands dont get sticky and in your hair!

when you eat things because your child forcefully pushes it in your mouth by saying 'mom ... ahhhh.. hmmm.. NIIIICE " (what i tell him when i want him to eat!)

when you wake up in the middle of the night and see one foot resting on dad and one hand resting on mom... a toddlers version of fair!

when in your free time you randomly start singing 'here i go .. im on a boat.. look at me.. im on a boat.. !' from baby signing time... becoming a mother makes even the worst voice a singer! hehe

when you WISH your neighbors dog would start barking so your son can get excited and say "doggggy!! woof woof!"

when you make fake sneezes.. AAACHHOOO! so that your child laughs and opens his mouth so you can get him to finally eat something!

when you replay the SAME song in your car 20 times in a row because the second before the song is over your toddler screams "BAAAACK!!! BACCK!!! ELMO!!! BAAAAACK!!" until you put it on again

when you put your extra set of couches in storage to make room for more toys!

When you wake up to a punch in the eye by your toddlers foot! and even though it hurts like hell you're thinking 'ooh lucky me he is still sleeping!' and u go back to sleep

when you're paying for something you have to sort through toys,diapers,snacks and wipes in your handbag before you finally find your wallet
post #815 of 940
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie143 View Post
When you wake up to a punch in the eye by your toddlers foot! and even though it hurts like hell you're thinking 'ooh lucky me he is still sleeping!' and u go back to sleep
:


YKYtPoaTW you hear DW say "No, Daddy's on the potty and doesn't want his pillow" and that not only makes perfect sense, but in fact you are glad for DW running interference on the play.
post #816 of 940
When the first thing your LO does in the morning is bring you your underpants!
post #817 of 940
When you think it is perfectly normal to find your shoes on the coffee table, filled with a dozen of crayons or so...
post #818 of 940
Quote:
Originally Posted by CanBoo View Post
When you think it is perfectly normal to find your shoes on the coffee table, filled with a dozen of crayons or so...

and on that theme...when your babysitter comments on the rainbow colored diaper she changed earlier!

(I quit taking the crayons away. Now he looks at me, says "BITE cuh-wor" and snaps a bit off. I'm hoping the lack of flavor will get boring when I quit making a big deal about it.)
post #819 of 940
...When you have to explain to you toddler that even though it kind of fits, he can't stick your nipple up his nose!!!

....when even your toaster has indelible marker on it!
post #820 of 940
You hear splashing from the bathroom and you walk in to find your toddler dipping his toothbrush in the toilet and brushing his teeth with it. And your disgust is tempered by the thought "Well, at least he's brushing his teeth."
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