You Know You're the Parent of a Toddler When... - Page 47

[AllisonR]

Originally Posted by Harmony96

when she doesn't have quite enough teeth to take a decent bite, so you "perforate" her food w/ your teeth so she can get the bite.

LOL! Totally forgot about this. I still perforate apples though. DD loves me to bite and feed her.

[Mommy2Austin]

(This happened when I was with my Older cousin and her daughter)

YKYTPOATW...

You're out shopping and naptime rolls around so your toddler finds the nearest bedroom display to crawl into while you are looking at an outfit for said toddler. The store staff gets a kick out of it while you flame in the face and try to remember how to make a bed since its been so long since you had time to do so.

[SeekingSerenity]

Originally Posted by 2mama

You know your a parent of a toddler when everyone at work knows you as the one that always has food smeared on her...

On that note, have you ever noticed that when searching for clothing for yourself, you tend to look at things in terms of how well the pattern will hide food smears and drool marks, etc.? I shy away from solid colors, and only get darker-colored patterns, because it doesn't show the mushy things my kids stick to me.

Originally Posted by organicpapayamama

-your child randomly bites you or licks you while trying to give you a kiss...

My Lil' Man did this earlier today... chomped down on my collarbone and wouldn't let go. OW. I now have four tiny tooth-shaped bruises.

Originally Posted by organicpapayamama

-when all your clothes have stains

Yep, see my above comment.

Originally Posted by organicpapayamama

-when DS suddenly kicks and slaps you in his sleep

Actually, it's my almost-4 yo DD that does THIS. She sleeps upside-down or sideways most of the time, and I can't tell you how many times I've been woken up by a foot in my face!

Originally Posted by pantrygirl

...when it has become routine for you to pick cheerio or cheerio like cereal out of your purse, your shoe, your car, you rug, your bathtub...

...when you eat said cheerio without even knowing how long it's been at said location without batting an eye.

...you count said cheerio as a meal.

For me, it's been Saltine crackers, lately.

Originally Posted by pammysue

...you get home from a friends house and find one of their coasters in your diaperbag.

Yesterday I got home from Jason's Deli to find roughly half a pound of crumbled, half-chewed ciabatta bread in Lil' Man's carseat. Upon dumping that out, I discovered a long-handled spoon, the kind you stir your tea with. **whoopsie!**

Lately our family hobby has been fishing. We go about two or three times a week. When I was at the store the other day, I reached in to my purse to look for a pen, and ended up dragging out two large stones, a dried leaf, four small twigs and a small orange bobber, whereupon I had to sit all this on the counter before I could get to the pen. At least the cashier was amused.

Originally Posted by pammysue

...every shelf and table in the living room is now either completely empty or a toy shelf.

OMG, yes! I was just talking about this! I have recently acquired a large wall unit and two small bookshelves, and of all the shelf space, about 80% of it is either completely unused or stacked with books and toys. The 20% in use is just the high-up shelves, which unfortunately have become the hideout for the kittens, who have decided my little potted fern is a tasty snack...

I just love the adventures around here... :

[peaceful_mama]

you find yourself saying things like "Don't suck your baby brother's thumb!"

you consider buying stock in Band-Aids...and you want to know if they sell them in mega boxes at Sam's Club.

the shampoo, conditioner, soap, etc no longer live in your shower.

you now start all phone conversations with "Hold on, DD wants to say hi...' (so that you can then actually HEAR the person and have conversation...)

you don't remember the last time you watched a movie that was not animated.

Or listened to "grownup" music in your van.

the words "I won't do it again" and that little *face* will get you to drop anything.....

it's too quiet....so you go to see what you'll get to clean up this time.

OR you don't. Because the mess will still be there in 5 minutes and it's just so peaceful..........

[SeekingSerenity]

Originally Posted by peaceful_mama

you consider buying stock in Band-Aids...and you want to know if they sell them in mega boxes at Sam's Club.

I found a box of 60 at Target! (and I got two of them)

Originally Posted by peaceful_mama

you don't remember the last time you watched a movie that was not animated.

Yeah... come to think of it, it's been awhile. I've started a few but then had to stop them because someone was crying, or the baby needed a boob/diaper change/mama to hold him for no apparent reason for an unspecified amount of time, or someone needed to eat, or someone walked in during a non-child-friendly sequence in the movie, forcing the immediate turning off of the DVD player. And somehow I never got back to the movie.

Which reminds me, I have two Netflix rentals on my shelf that have been there for... um... two months? I just checked a couple of books out at the library then questioned myself as to why, since any free time I have is spent catching up on the computer or reading their library books! (out loud, even)

[majorsky]

Originally Posted by SeekingSerenity

I just checked a couple of books out at the library then questioned myself as to why, since any free time I have is spent catching up on the computer or reading their library books! (out loud, even)

The only time I have for grown-up reading is in the bathroom... And that's if a little person isn't having some kind of crisis where I have to problem-solve from the toilet.

Kristin

[Thing1Thing2]

YKYTPOAT
-when a good portion of your meals comes off the seat in your dc's high chair...
-when you don't even bother to clean the tupperware cabinet anymore, you just throw everything in off the floor 5x a day
-you're done nursing and now there's pieces of steamed broccoli and noodles all over your boobs
-You grin and bear it when dc is climbing all over you and kicking you in the stomach because you want him to fall asleep so you can finally pee

[Thing1Thing2]

YKYTPOAT
-when a good portion of your meal is eaten off the seat of your dc's high chair...
-when you don't even bother to organize the tupperware cabinet anymore, you just throw everything in off the floor 5x a day
-you're done nursing and now there's pieces of steamed broccoli and noodles all over your boobs
-You grin and bear it when dc is climbing all over you and kicking you in the stomach because you want him to fall asleep so you can finally pee
-when you're not paying enough attention to squirming, whining, pants pulling child, but instead talking to a friend who thinks you're crazy b/c ds has now just bit you and you tell her it's b/c he wants to nurse!
-when you end up doing the dishes with your pants down because it's too much to keep having to pull them up again... COMON I KNOW YOU've BEEN THERE!!!

[momtob&t]

Originally Posted by peaceful_mama

you find yourself saying things like "Don't suck your baby brother's thumb!"

you consider buying stock in Band-Aids...and you want to know if they sell them in mega boxes at Sam's Club.

the shampoo, conditioner, soap, etc no longer live in your shower.

you now start all phone conversations with "Hold on, DD wants to say hi...' (so that you can then actually HEAR the person and have conversation...)

you don't remember the last time you watched a movie that was not animated.

Or listened to "grownup" music in your van.

the words "I won't do it again" and that little *face* will get you to drop anything.....

it's too quiet....so you go to see what you'll get to clean up this time.

OR you don't. Because the mess will still be there in 5 minutes and it's just so peaceful..........

: You nailed my everyday EXACTLY!!!

BTW, we get band aids 60 for a dollar at our dollar store, and we sort of "buy in bulk" by getting several packs at once! LOL! And no matter where they are hidden, she can find them!!!

[SeekingSerenity]

Originally Posted by BonnieNova

-when you end up doing the dishes with your pants down because it's too much to keep having to pull them up again... COMON I KNOW YOU've BEEN THERE!!!

DH walked in one day when I was cooking something, and he just stood there with a dumbfounded look on his face... I had on my shirt, but my skirt was gone and I had on only one sock. My response was like, "What?"

I mean, hey, I was the one who thought, gee, I think I'll wear this knee-length skirt today that I haven't worn except once since I got it four years ago because I have kids who usually flip it up and play under it while in public... Then Lil'Man decided, since said skirt had an elastic waistband, that he could repeatedly pull it down to my ankles while I was standing in the kitchen. So I kicked it off, rather than trip over it, and when I did that, Lil'Man snagged one of my socks, yanked IT off, and then crawled away as fast as he could, dragging the skirt and the sock both.

My choice was to go after him and burn the dinner, or just cook half-naked. Yeah... you'd cook half-naked, too. Hey, it's just the family, it's not like I was expecting dignitaries to show up at any second...

[SeekingSerenity]

Originally Posted by momtob&t

BTW, we get band aids 60 for a dollar at our dollar store, and we sort of "buy in bulk" by getting several packs at once! LOL! And no matter where they are hidden, she can find them!!!

I buy them 60 for $2-something at Target, because I get the fabric ones. I think the Dollar store ones are plastic. And believe me, the fabric ones are harder to eat (plus they stay on better in the bathtub... nothing like dealing with a screaming meltdown that includes large amounts of water when the band-aid comes floating off... ).

I don't hide them. I keep them WAYYYY up high...

[almadianna]

when you dont remember the last time you went to go pee alone.
or shower.
or eat.

When you wonder where those strange bruises that woke up with come from when you cosleep.

When you wonder when you will ever be able to have quite for more than 15 seconds without questions about why? when? where? who? about every little thing.

[NewCrunchyDaddy]

YKYtPoaTW you hear the phrase "We don't draw with popsicles" coming out of your mouth.

[pammysue]

When you're not so surprised to find your cell phone in the fridge or one small sandal in the bathroom vanity.

[Surfacing]

When the VCR player has both a VCR tape AND a DVD in it

When you have to "start" the apple before handing it over

When you're saying, "I love you TOO!" 50,000 times a day

[EnviroBecca]

My son is a preschooler now, but:

You know you have been the parent of a toddler when you see a very small shoe in the middle of a deserted sidewalk and do not find that odd at all, because you can think of 35 different ways it might have ended up there.

[peaceful_mama]

you have ever pulled over because you were *laughing too hard* to continue driving....

Small voice in the back of the van today "Where are my TOES?!"

........and the answer "They're in your boots, I hope anyway".....brings tremendous relief to the owner of the little voice, who hasn't worn her cowgirl boots in awhile, LOL

[SeekingSerenity]

ykytpoatw...

You've had to assure a very distressed little girl that it's perfectly okay to flush the toilet because the poop has to go through that hole in order to go home and find its mommy.

...and you think nothing whatsoever of telling this story repeatedly to the little girl because it's the only thing that calms her down when it's time to flush.

(I just remembered this because DD, who is now almost 4, just started talking about Mommy and Baby poops again the other day out of the blue.)

The following sentence was spoken yesterday to a 6 year old, but it reminded me of this thread:

"Honey, please try not to spit the toothpaste on the cat, okay?" (Kitten had gotten in the sink while he was brushing...)

[Harmony96]

When you say, "no, baby... I know that was right next to Mommy's makeup and you watch mommy put makeup on her face... but toothpaste goes on a toothbrush, not on your cheek."

[Surfacing]

Harmony96 - CUTE BABY!!!!!!!

YKYTPOATW
- you find it adorable and hilarious that, in her quiet disappointment, dd collapses onto her knees, then puts her head to the floor and lies in a child's pose for a minute, until she composes herself over some sort of frustration
- your pouting baby is mad at you and all you have to do is flash her the boob and that's the peace offering that works
- after nursing you are picking pieces of oatmeal off your boob
- your child nurses, stops to lick her lollipop, nurses some more, and offers you her lolly