teachers who favor certain students

[mommy68]

Do you see it happening in your child/ren's class?

My oldest told me that his teacher favors the girls over the boys and I saw it for myself recently - the last few times I helped out in class. For instant, she *always* asks a girl to run an errand for her, answer a question aloud in class or come to the desk to get something from her. She never picks a boy no matter how much they are all jumping up and down and screaming for her to pick them. I don't understand this.

There is a fundraiser going on this morning at his school and only 1 student per class will be chosen to participate in this in front of the school. He and I have a bet that a *certain* girl in class will get chosen for it. She gets chosen for EVERYTHING. I can't believe no other parents notice this. This girl was in his class last year and it was the same way with that teacher, only it's worse this year because this teacher obviously favors the girls over any of the boys. :

It really bothers me but I would never speak up and say anything to her. It just making the boys feel inferior to the girls and as if they have to try so very hard just to get her attention. It's not fair IMO. She's making it seem that all the boys are the exact same and not treating them as individuals.

IMO the boys should be able to raise their hands quietly when she wants volunteers for a task and she should give them a fair chance. Instead she makes them all jump up and down saying "me, me!" in order to get her attention thus making themselves look hyper and too unruly for the task. It's just not right.

[Flor]

Originally Posted by mommy68

Do you see it happening in your child/ren's class?

My oldest told me that his teacher favors the girls over the boys and I saw it for myself recently - the last few times I helped out in class. For instant, she *always* asks a girl to run an errand for her, answer a question aloud in class or come to the desk to get something from her. She never picks a boy no matter how much they are all jumping up and down and screaming for her to pick them. I don't understand this.

There is a fundraiser going on this morning at his school and only 1 student per class will be chosen to participate in this in front of the school. He and I have a bet that a *certain* girl in class will get chosen for it. She gets chosen for EVERYTHING. I can't believe no other parents notice this. This girl was in his class last year and it was the same way with that teacher, only it's worse this year because this teacher obviously favors the girls over any of the boys. :

It really bothers me but I would never speak up and say anything to her. It just making the boys feel inferior to the girls and as if they have to try so very hard just to get her attention. It's not fair IMO. She's making it seem that all the boys are the exact same and not treating them as individuals.

IMO the boys should be able to raise their hands quietly when she wants volunteers for a task and she should give them a fair chance. Instead she makes them all jump up and down saying "me, me!" in order to get her attention thus making themselves look hyper and too unruly for the task. It's just not right.

No, I've never noticed it. In fact, many teachers keep track of how many boys/girls they call on, or use popcicle sticks with names on it, or rotate tasks, etc. It's hard to say what comes first, ignoring the boys, or the boys screaming out and yelling for attention. I'd never call on a student who was doing that.

And, there is one girl who always runs errands for me-- the one who finishes her work super fast, and has never given me reason to question her responsibilty (ie. disappearing for 10 minutes when sent with a note to the office). Of course, I give other students opportunities to do these errands, too, but since she's done 10 mintues before everyone else. . .

If it's really bothering you, talk to her. I'd say, "My son feels. . . ." rather than, "I think you do this. . . " maybe just a quick heads up. There are lots of ways to make things fair in a classroom.

[elizam]

Sadly, Yes...

I noticed it big time when my oldest ds (now 13) was in kindergarten. He was totally aware of it, too. The teacher, a young "yuppie" type with two young straight A girls of her own, seemed to favor girls. She actually seemed repulsed and annoyed by the boys and less attractive/intelligent/well-behaved girls. There was one boy who probably was her #1 favorite, though. He acted very muchlike a girl in his learning style. He was a worksheet machine with near perfect handwriting who read on a second grade level. She actually made sure to mention that when she told us ds should be held back. We gently asked whether or not it was common for some boys not to learn how to read in K, and she acted all shocked and brought up her favorite boy.

[LauraLoo]

Mommy68 -- I'm copying my post to CurlyTops question not too long ago about how to teach boys, which was actually a response to your post on that thread regarding favoritism:

My ds is in PS Kindergarten and they have quarterly award ceremonies for demonstrating the "pillars of character." Each teacher gets to choose 6 representatives from their classes and then the whole school goes to an assembly. After the first ceremony, (my ds wasn't chosen) I asked him about it. He refused to talk about it and all he said was "Teachers only like little girls, they don't like boys." I asked a friend of mine about the ceremony (her ds was chosen so she was at the assembly) and she said that almost all of the recipients were girls and it was like each teacher chose a token boy.

My point being -- if a kindergartener can see this favoritism, I have to wonder what older boys thought about it. How discouraging is that?

Here's the update: Some parents must have said something to the administration because they are changing the way that students will be nominated for next quarter. Now they are having the students vote on which students will be selected. (I'm not sure what is worse -- favoritism or a popularity contest?!) In any case, I'm sure that you are not the only parent to notice this in your ds' class. I have no idea how you would bring this up without it sounding like sour grapes, but if you figure it out, please let me know!

[PajamaMama]

I don't know if all the previous posters have only boys, but I have only girls, and let me tell you...that favoritism you perceive towards your sons' female classmates does not last.

Our dd was homeschooled, but wanted to try out junior high school in public school. We let her start with public school this year (6th grade) and I observed a few of her classes...if there was any favoritism at all I would say it ran towards BOYS especially in gym (co-ed), math and science.

Perhaps our perceptions are skewed because of the children we have, not because of the teachers? (and this comes from a mom who has already made the switch back to homeschooling...not a teacher or lover of public education in any way)

[MamaRhi]

OP: Where do you live? That sounds dead on like my dd's teacher!!

My dd is a great student and naturally of the "teacher's pet" personality. I've always tried to have conversations with her about it to see how other kids interact with the teacher. I didn't think much about it till I volunteered in her classroom for a few months. I was absolutely appalled by how the kids were treated. Hyper boys were ridiculed and humiliated. Only the quiet, high-acheiving, white kids (and mostly girls) were given *any* positive attention.

I'm now in touch with a parent of one of the hyper boys and we are trying to see what we can do to change things. This is likely to be difficult as the teacher has already painted this mother as a trouble maker to the school principle.

While my dd is one of the preferred kids, she has brought home the WORST condescending attitude and it's making me crazy!! I've decided to homeschool my SPD/hyper ds rather than run the risk of him going through this.

[menudo]

YES!

I still remember the names of some of the class favorites from grade school! We openly discussed them as favorites with my parents. If it was only older kids in the school play and a younger was needed, we knew who'd be picked, etc. You had the smartest, the funniest, and the favorites. I hated it.

I remember my one high school gym teacher had obvious faves. They sat out of gym and got A's while I participated fully and got C's. Where is she now? In jail for having a long term relationship with an underage student. Hmmmm, not a surprise! Then there was my media teacher. All the popular pretty girls hung around. He had faves. I finally stopped working my butt off and said my work needed to be appreciated, I better get the grade I deserve, and I know you are havign an affair with MS. X and giving passes to girls who are nto even in our classes. I got an A. Not sure what happened to him.

Teachers are people, some are not decent people. Most of mine were good. But watch out being a favorite is not good for anyone.