post pardem deppression

[lotusmom]

wanted to know if anyone out there has successfully over come post pardem deppression? i suffered from it, mildly, after my dd was born. i over came it, but am due in two weeks, and with the wonders of pregnancy hormones, i am fearful that it may return. it was not so much horrible thoughts of me hurting my child, but that the rest of the world would.
my dh is very supportive, even though he never truely understood it, and is staying home with me after the baby's born for a while, to help and lend support (not to mension he'd be the stay at home parent in a second if financially feasable)
is there any advice out there? it just feels like a potential lurking monster that i am trying to keep at bay...

[m&m]

I've been trhough PPD twice now, and my only advice is to make sure you have someone you can confide in. Choose someone who will listen, but not judge, and not be afraid of anything you may say - for example, saying you want to walk out of the house and leave your children behind, or that you feel you are a bad mother and the kids would be better off without you - very common things with PPD - but if you tell this to your mother or husband, they may not understand that it is an overwhelming feeling - they will either worry, or try to talk you out of your feelings.

But if your dh is someone who can be supportive without trying to fix things, and will not hang anything over your head, than he'd be a good choice. If not, reach out to another mother out there, your haridresser, a clergy member, or therapist even. You do need social contact of some kind, even if it is the last thing you think you want.

Also, have the phone handy for when you do feel down - books, movies, or visitors can all help lighten your mood as well.

In most cases, it will pass quickly - but feels overwhelming while going through it. The more support you have, the better.

If it does feel more serious - see a doctor -

I've read that PPD is stronger and more common in subsequent pregnancies. And it does not nescessarily have to occur immediately following birth - it can happen even months later.

Good luck

[Moukii]

I had PPD with my first, and am due - actually overdue now. I too am worried that it might come back.

I went through it alone the first time, not realising anything was wrong with me or that I had PPD till I was through it looking back. My husband knew I was feeling shitty but he too didn't know anything about PPD so didn't know what to do to help me.

I've made a point to tell all my family and friends that I had it, and some of the thoughts and feeling I had along with it last time. I've asked them and my midwife to keep checking in with me to make sure I'm doing ok. Also, I've told my husband to make sure I get help if he sees me like that again. Like I said, I didn't see it last time till I was through it.

Also, I've told my husband to make sure I go to the gym at least once a week for step class which I really enjoy, or at least go out somewhere without kids for my sanity. So I guess, the main thing I'm suggesting, is to set up what support you feel would help you 'if' the situation were to arise again for you. Hope that helps, and more importantly, hope PPD bypasses you.

[Jish]

I have been lucky enough to avoid PPD with both of my children, although I was fearful since depression runs in my family. I do know many women from my BFing support group who have suffered from it, one even from post partum psychosis. Thankfully, the lactation consultants at the group are very aware of PPD and are good at reading the signs and referring moms for help. The OBs in my area seem to be doing a better job of treating moms rather than saying that it will pass.

PPD is a chemical and hormonal imbalance and they have medications that can very successfully treat it. Many of them are breastfeeding friendly, so don't believe anyone who tells you that you must wean if you want to take a med to help the depression. Your child needs a healthy mom, and taking medication is not admitting any sort of failure, it is taking care of yourself AND your baby.

There are two girls from my group who have closely confided in me their stories. I won't give you all the details, but I will provide a bit of insight. One mother appeared to have it all together every week when she came to group. We all thought things were going great for her. Thankfully, the LC's are such wise and caring women. They were able to refer her to her to her obgyn and she was put on antidepressants. She told me about a month later (her baby was 8 months old) that she finally understood what we all meant when we talked about how much we loved our babies and how bonded to them we felt. She said that she had always loved her, but not in that overwhelming, I would die for my baby sort of way. She said that she always sort of felt like a stranger to her, like someone else's baby. Once she started taking the meds she was able to enjoy and fully love her child. I feel so sad that she missed out on those wonderful first months with her.

Another mom was unable to leave her house. She was finally put on meds with her first child and things improved. When her second child was born she couldn't see the signs coming again until she walked out of the house one afternoon leaving her toddler playing and her 3 month old in the bouncer, got in her van and drove away. Her dh was at the neighbors and saw her leave, but she didn't even tell her she was going. She came back a couple hours later and told him she needed help. Back on meds she was her old self again and was able to handle the stress.

If you think you might possibly be suffering from PPD, please get help, and consider temporarily going on antidepressants until PPD subsides. You and your baby deserve the best from you.

If anyone would like the names of breastfeeding friendly antidepressants, please let me know, I can get some names for you.

[lotusmom]

thank you for your suggestions.
sometimes the simplest things (like just getting out of the house once a week) completely passes you by in the midst of babydom. it is nice to know others have experienced similar occurances, as i'm a bit isolated here sometimes.
good luck with your new baby moukii. hope everthing goes well.

[Moukii]

Good luck to you too! I'm 5 days over now...just waiting! If you feel like talking about how things are going after the baby comes, just send me a message.

[erika]

i had ppd with my first child but not my second. the identity crisis after the first really threw me for a looooooong time. with the second i only had irritability at every full moon (go figure - what's that about) that i kept worrying would turn into ppd, but it DIDN'T. i did hire someone to clean my house once a week for a month at one point, and believe it or not it helped more than the same money put into counseling would have!

good luck!!

[Zoepie]

I had PPD, it started about 2 months after my daughter was born. I saw a doctor for a physical and she asked how I was feeling, so I told her a little down. She wanted to put me on Wellbutrin even though I was nurcing. I refuced and called my midwife and she suggested a mothers group. I started going just once a week and getting out of the house for walks really helped too. The mothers group allowed me to meet other new moms and socialize.. it made all the diffrance in the world for me. We had just moved to Denver from Phoenix so I had no family no friends and no support.. so I htink my PPD was amplified by lonliness. So the mothers group was just the ticket I needed. Look around in your community for play groups or mom tot groups.. they really are everywhere and find one that suites you.
Michelle

[Ms. Mom]

This is such an important topic to discuss. PPD is a very real thing and by reaching out to other women we can get the support we need and overcome it.

We have a forum just for PPD. So I'm going to move this thread over there. This way you can get more support!