Are there other SAHD out there? - Page 2

[katlinaker]

My husband is a SAHD - we are in the Atlanta area. He loves hanging out with our daughter and is doing a wonderful job with her.

[musicoholic]

my dh is sahd... has been since ds was 4 weeks old ... and IMO is amazing.

only thing is, I know he's really lonely - he adores spending the time with ds, but is yearning for adult company... we're trying to get ds potty trained in the next couple of months so he can come to school with me (in the pre-nursery class)... but even then there's really nothing for dh to do - it was bad enough at home, but even worse now we've moved to a foreign country (according to my employment contract he's not allowed to work... well, they're not allowed to find out about it - put it that way)

don't suppose anyone has any suggestions for me to pass on? I've just opened the slowlane website so he finds it on the pc when he gets home (we have a friend staying at the moment - so he's out with him... and feels bad for it mind you!!!!!)

sorry for rambling...

[ninelives]

Heck, there are millions of SAHDs out there...the technical term for them is "farmers".

[Romana]

Originally Posted by ninelives

Heck, there are millions of SAHDs out there...the technical term for them is "farmers".

Actually, I'd call farmers WAHD. Any farmer dads have an opinion?

Julia
dd 1 year old

[Nodtveidt]

I was a SAHD in the long-term relationship I was in before I met my wife. Though the child wasn't of my blood, I still did the best I could for him and was a father to him, something his biological father refused to do.

[MeghansDad]

SAHD checking in!

[Maggi315]

My husband is home with the kids during most days while I work and he leaves in the evening to see clients in their homes.

We have always worked out schedules so that either one of us is home. He has always done more than his fair share of childcare and household work although that has waxed and waned over the years.

He sometimes feel like the lone dad out there going on field trips, dropping kids off, volunteering, doc appts, etc. but around here, at least, it is becoming more common.

[ninelives]

Originally Posted by Romana9+2

Actually, I'd call farmers WAHD. Any farmer dads have an opinion?

Julia
dd 1 year old

I always thought WAHD was a subset of SAHD. (The way "oaks" is a subset of "trees".)

[AwakenedMama]

My husband stays home with DD. We were actually planning to put her into full-time daycare when I had to go back to work at 6 weeks. Thankfully, we realized how ridiculous it would be for the majority of DH's salary to go to paying someone else to take care of our child. We've had to make some sacrifices, but it is so worth it.

I think it really helps me to exclusively BF, too. I can trust him to feed her correctly, not wasting my milk, and he brings her to nurse at lunch at least once a week.

[Photosean]

I'm a fairly new SAHD. My wife and I have a beautiful 4 1/2 mo. old (teething and not sleeping!). I'm also a wedding photographer so I can shoot on the weekends when DW is home. The challenge is doing the tremendous amount of post processing and putting together the albums, etc.

I had grand ideas when I began my job as SAHD. I thought we'd get out to the park all the time and I'd take her hiking (in a sling or other carrier) and go to the beach and the zoo, etc. We did this for a while and even went into The City to see mom at work at sometimes. Then about a month ago baby began not sleeping and it became a challenge to get her down for naps after she'd been up almost every hour or two during the night.

Now I've adjusted my perception a bit as to the reality of the situation and we take it day by day. I don't get as much house work done I'd like, let alone business work. I do love it every bit though and realise there will be a day when we will be able to all the things I'd hoped we could together.

Sean

[Romana]

Originally Posted by ninelives

I always thought WAHD was a subset of SAHD. (The way "oaks" is a subset of "trees".)

I've never seen it used that way - WAHM (Work At Home Mom), WOHM (Work Out of Home Mom), SAHW (Stay at Home Wife), SAHM (Stay At Home Mom). SAHM means you stay home and do nothing other than housework, child care, etc. - possibly volunteer work - but you do not do a job that you get paid for. Those who have some kind of home business are doing something different - WAHM.

That's how I've seen them used and how I understand it . . . but maybe you're familiar with different usage.

Julia
dd 1

[speairson]

my dh is a SAHD (for the most part) he works 2 days a week. We've only had this arrangement for about 3 months. How do you other SAHD's manage to do the play date thing or meet other families with children of similiar ages for your kids to play with? We live in a fairly conservative and traditional area and we're finding it hard to find families who are totally accepting.

[BensMamacita]

My dh is a sahd. Like anything, it has it's ups and downs. One of our neighbors is also a sahd, so they spend some time together during the week, which has really alleviated the loneliness. The best part, imo, is the bond between dh and ds - I don't think it would have developed had I been at home w/ds fulltime. Truly, I would love to be home, but otherwise, our situation is as close to ideal as we can get.

[isaac'sdada]

i'm a recent sahd (our boy is 2 months old) and i've found that even in the progressive area where we live there aren't that many of us and i'm often the only man at baby massage or baby movement classes. that said, two months certainly isn't long enough to figure anything out...

[blissful_maia]

My dp stays home with our girls, 3.5 and 9 months. I'm becoming a midwife, and have some pretty funky hours! He loves it, but I do think he longs for some community/understanding.

[OpenAppleDad]

I'm a full time at-home dad, and have been since my DD was 6 months old (she's over 3 now).

I've learned a lot about parenting and myself, and I'm hoping to use this forum as a source of sharing. I logged on to here way-way back (in June of 05) and much has changed since then.

I'm now a father of two (DD 3 and DS 2), and one (or possibly two) are on the way, due in February.

[sacredjourney]

I will be attending school full time this fall and dp will be a SAHD. He is really looking forward to it.

[khalilsmama]

My boyfriend and I are working on a schedule of this kind to avoid daycare costs. We like to think of it as a hidden blessing not to be able to afford it, instead one of us with him most of the time.
The trick is finding the jobs that are flexible enough with the right hours and good pay rate, and that we can stand doing! My 'career' before ds was organic farm apprenticeships: pay squat and long hours.

Also, pumping enough milk is hard for me. After working mostly day hours for 2 months or so (ds 3-5 months old), we've switched so I will do a short evening shift and dear papa can do a more rewarding job working on a farm long day hours.

Any work I can do WITH ds during the day is hard but helps me stay afloat and not bored or stuck to this computer . I'm cleaning a friend's house and doing some easy companionship for a friend with a disability (getting paid to hang out).

We are working hard at this arrangement and I am proud of us. But it is very challenging to stay on top of communication and doing things for myself (and not getting mad at him for doing things for himself.)

I'd love to talk to others struggling with these issues

Megan

[picoliter]

My wife and I work our schedules so that the boys (11 mo and 3.5 yr) are always in our care. I work 7 am - noon 4 days, then full day one day; my wife works the rest of the time at her job. Fortunately we have jobs and employers that support this lifestyle. It's a little limiting money-wise of course, and my early mornings combined with an occasional uncooperative boy refusing to fall asleep until late night can be hard.

My schedule (30 hours a week) is entirely driven by the minimum requirement to keep my health plan at work.

It works out OK, but I sure don't get much done around the house - I dreamed of getting all these little projects done when we started doing this... silly me! I love spending afternoons with my boys, out at the zoo, hiking or watching the airplanes landing at the airport. We probably get out to do things every other day, as their nap times fall right in the middle of the afternoon.

[father_knows_best]

the changes

I am a SAHD. I was converted about five years ago from being a bank employee to a stay at home to my five year old son, four year old daughter and ten month old son. For a while it was like using a tractor for drag racing or a porche for hauling cargo. I have truely been changed in so many ways.
Everything i use is marketed to moms from ads to magazine that i need to use to learn my child care and house work..i have developed a slight swaying motion when i am in line at the supermarket..i stop it when i catch it but not always. I dont do it like mom but i have my own way and it has the similar result. Not very good at dealing with wounds that are not visible to they eye but i learned to put a band aid on it anyway. My peanut sandwiches are larger than they need to be and my lego towers are too tall and my crayon selection is not always appropriate to the picture according to my little one but i am very good at discussing how long it would take giant to eat a tree and can listen to the story that never ends about a lost shoe. The ladies at the park ignore me and when they let me join them i always have to wait for the pause that tells me to go so that they can discuss a blocked milk duct. It can be lonely as heck and there are no dads at my park. The old ladies in the area think im odd to stay home and my father in law swallow his tongue at my staying home. I have about one year left before i return to work when my five and four year old should be in school and then i will probobly go back to work and i doubt they will let me do spelling workbooks there. Not sure where my knowledge about dealing with refridgerated breast milk will be used. Should be as traumatic on the way out of this stay at home life as it was on the way in.