Want to scream at my BIL - Page 2

[AprilDaisy]

It baffles me that they are thinking, pondering, and dictating what they want for christmas. That spoils the whole purpose of thoughtfulness and caring...

Oh well....goes to the thought I sometimes think....it takes all kinds.... hehe

[Godaime]

It gets even better!!! Wanna hear? Last night we get an email from my sil saying they talked about it and can we get them a $50 gift card to Best Buy? They have already saved up $140 in Best Buy gift cards and will be up to $190 with ours are asking everyone for them for Christmas so they can buy a laptop or a plasma tv!!!

That's just digusting...if you want a plasma tv go save up your own money to buy one. I think I learned from reading all the gift threads on MDC that I'm NEVER going to ask ANYONE what they want. I'm just going to pick out a gift to the best of my ability and knowledge of what that person would like. He looks like hes just after your 50 dollars...so I would hand knit him a scarf and a hat or something lol.

[bobica]

dh's family is the same. we finally got them *down* to $50 a person. we tried last year to do away with the grown-up gift exchange. my FIL wouldn't hear of it. he "likes" his presents. we get them show tickets every year. i told dh that his dad could then give us cash in an envelope : basically paying for his own tickets. then i thought of the charitable donation. that would irk him way more. something really crunchy, too

as for your bil- it's a tough call. snarky and the holidays don't mix well usually but this guy is a real piece of work. he didn't show up to your wedding AND he was IN THE WEDDING PARTY??? seriously??? that's beyond insane. i really like the idea of making a charitable donation in his name.

[Shenjall]

Well, I know I'm in the minority here - but you asked what to get him and they told you.

I guess the question here is: when it comes to gifts, whats more important, what the person wants, or what one person wants to give?

[mightymoo]

I think what is especially rude is that you are asking what he wants specifically so you can get him something he does like. Why couldn't he tell you essentially what he would have bought himself with the gift card?

Next year I think I would say to the family - why doesn't anyone who doesn't want a present and would rather a gift card just sit out the gift exchange and spend their $50 on themselves.

[mightymoo]

Originally Posted by Shenjall

Well, I know I'm in the minority here - but you asked what to get him and they told you.

I guess the question here is: when it comes to gifts, whats more important, what the person wants, or what one person wants to give?

Well, while normally I agree the point is to get what hte person wants, what is the point of just exchanging money? If he didn't want to receive a gift, he should have stayed out of a *gift* exchange.

[Shenjall]

I see money as different from a g/c. With money, I can do anything I want with it - dinner, pay bills, buy some clothes. A g/c is a gift from a store, that you get to pick out. I see it like, heres The Body Shop! Pick what you want, on me! No worrying about size, returning, likes, etc. Sometimes the shopping part is part of the gift too.

Now, I think you can buy those prepaid visa things right? If thats what they were asking for, then that changes my view. But a g/c from a certain store is a gift to me.
JMHO

[Spock]

Wow, I can't believe how rude your BIL is. I have very little patience for that kind of thing so I would be spending the remainder of the $50 at Heifer International. I wouldn't lose a minute of sleep over ticking him off since his behavior is so ridiculous. At least if you give to a charity, someone will appreciate and benefit from your gift. And, you can send the message to your BIL that the world doesn't revolve around him.

[swimswamswum]

Honestly, I would give him the magazine and make a donation to Heifer International or some other anti-poverty non-profit in his honor. It really sounds like BIL and SIL could use a lesson in the way the world actually works.

http://www.heifer.org/site/c.edJRKQN...FRrISAodzFN0ng

I am passive aggressive like that though.


They sound like UA violations, btw.

ETA: I didn't see librarydragon's post b/c I responded before reading other replies- I couldn't agree more with what she said (obviously)!

[momaste]

My family does a name draw, too, with the same $50 limit. While not explicitly stated in the rules, we're supposed to spend the full $50. I got an e-mail from the person who drew me asking what we wanted (it's for the family, not me individually.) I asked for something for the house made by someone locally in her area. I told her the colors of our house (we live in different states and she hasn't seen our house.) I thought this was okay because it supports local artists and gives creative control to the gift giver. Is that okay to ask for?

About five years ago I sent a hand-made scrapbook to the family member I drew. A few years later, when I asked how they liked it, she said they never got around to filling it in. I don't do handmade for the gift exchange anymore after that. I got that family again this time around and got a board game, paper airplane book, games to play with kids book, and a make-your-own-sundae kit. I was happy wiht how I stretched the $50 and I hope they like it.

[magster]

Originally Posted by inezyv

How unbelievably rude!!!! How about a book from Miss Manners as his gift -- along with a book about gratitude and a stocking with a lump of coal in the toe?

What a spoiled brat your BIL sounds to be.