TTC in 2007 - Babes in waiting... - Page 2

[Alison]

Originally Posted by BurtsGirl

Do you ever feel your wasting your time by researching so much ahead of time? I ask because even though there is so much to learn and decide what if I forget it all by the time I'm pregnant?

I don't think you're wasting your time by researching. With my first child, I didn't do nearly enough research ahead of time. I think it's never bad to be informed. I don't know if things would have been different if I'd done more research ahead of time, but I think I would have had more options open if I had. So research away, and the important things will come back to you when you need them!

As for child care Kleine Hexe. I didn't plan it ahead of time with DS, and when he was born, I had more than one person tell me I should have been on their waiting lists when I was pg. Mind you, we did get into the centre we wanted, partly I think because the director and my MIL are old friends. And I had a year of mat leave (being in Canada), so we had a year to sort it out. We found out in Feb that, after 10 months on the waiting list, that they could take him in March, which was when I was going back to work.. If I hadn't had a year of mat leave, we'd have been looking into alternatives to gap us until we got into the centre that we wanted.

I feel much more prepared for things this time, having some idea of what to expect. It's just been so hard to have to put TTC off like this, after I'd spent more than a year waiting and counting down to the time when we would be TTC again. I really wanted a three year gap between kids, but it's going to be more like 5 years if things go according to plan! And the whole bit about being older totally stresses me out. We got pg with DS very easily, almost right after coming off the pill. This time around we've been using NFP since DS was born, and not even had a scare, you know? So that makes of course makes me worry that we won't get pg so easily this time around. So all in all I'm just a stressed out impatient mama-in-waiting! And to make it worse, DS keeps telling me that he wants us to have another baby! Talk about guilt!

[joshs_girl]

Originally Posted by Kleine Hexe

Does anyone have their care provider (if you will use one) picked out yet? I've been thinking about starting the interviewing process in a couple months. I like to have that all done before I actually get pg.

I don't have anyone picked out yet, but I certainly have started researching. If we aren't pregnant by the time we move to Texas, I'll definitely start "interviewing" providers as soon as we get there.

[Kleine Hexe]

Originally Posted by Alison

As for child care Kleine Hexe. I didn't plan it ahead of time with DS, and when he was born, I had more than one person tell me I should have been on their waiting lists when I was pg. Mind you, we did get into the centre we wanted, partly I think because the director and my MIL are old friends. And I had a year of mat leave (being in Canada), so we had a year to sort it out. We found out in Feb that, after 10 months on the waiting list, that they could take him in March, which was when I was going back to work.. If I hadn't had a year of mat leave, we'd have been looking into alternatives to gap us until we got into the centre that we wanted.

Oh, I meant a midwife or OB. Being a VBAC I don't have a lot of choice here.

[newmom80]

Originally Posted by BurtsGirl

Newmom - boy do I feel you on this one.
Although I've been able to contain myself from buying anything because we have SO long to wait it's getting harder.

Do you ever feel your wasting your time by researching so much ahead of time? I ask because even though there is so much to learn and decide what if I forget it all by the time I'm pregnant?

I don't think it's a waste of time because reading and research changes you. You're totally right that a lot of little details I read will be long forgotten by the time baby comes, but the bigger, overall topics that I've read about have been life changing and will greatly affect my pregnancy and parenting. For example, if I had gotten pregnant a year ago, I would have had my baby at a hospital, with all recommended tests, and vacations at birth, and may have been intimidated into feeling breast feeding is too difficult. I would have had a big baby shower and registered for two kinds of strollers and nice crib and lots of decor, baby bouncer, swing, etc. I would have wrapped baby in disposable diapers immediately.

After reading MANY books and lots of online research, I now am very committed to having a home birth with a mid-wife, no unnecessary testing during the pregnancy (including ultrasound unless medically needed), no drugs during the delivery, breast feeding at birth and sticking it with no matter what for at least a year or as long as baby wants it, no vaccines at all until child can communicate with me how he/she is feeling and then only selective vaccines. I plan to cloth diaper exclusively. If I have a baby shower, instead of a stroller, I want a nice sling that I can snuggle baby in and a co-sleeper to attach to my bed instead of a crib. I also like the Waldorf toys made of simple natural materials, and plan to avoid all plastic toys and kid dvds.

These are big changes for me. I'm so thankful I have done this research before conceiving. Yes, I can't remember every detail of every book I've read, but my "world views" so to speak have changed forever and will thoroughly affect how I parent, starting at conception. I encourage you to read, read, read!

Look at this time of waiting as a blessing, a time to more fully prepare to be the best momma you can be!

[Galatea]

We are waiting to TTC #3 until April b/c I need to get two solid semesters in of pre-med classes before giving birth. I don't mind waiting, though, b/c I like being thinner and having more freedom. But dh is starting to have the baby bug (looking wistfully at pg women) and we want more and this time during the med school glide year application process will do nicely for me to have another. My only concern is that I have endometriosis and adenomyosis and hope that this time cycling is making it worse and possibly difficult to TTC. And no one can give me an answer on that.

Research and reading are never wasted. If I didn't read before having ds1, he would have been circumcised. And how terrible that would have been to find out about circumcision when it was too late.

Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth is a must-read. That's what got me to go to a midwife and I had a great vaginal birth!

[BurtsGirl]

Newmom- You know you are so right! I don't know why I feel so silly for researching so much before hand. I've made some of the same decisions you have all because I've done the research before hand. Thanks, I guess I just needed to feel like I wasn't the only one and it wasn't silly

[Kleine Hexe]

So anyone here wanting a baby but feeling nervous about pregnancy? For both my previous pgs I was so sick the first 20 weeks. I threw up every day and night multiple many many times from 5 weeks to 20 weeks. My average was throwing up about every 3 hours. I do not want to do that again. In my second pg I also had fainting, headaches, nerve pinching, painful abdominal muscle separation, hemrrhoids, bad acne, and had to fight a very emotional battle for VBAC. I want a baby but I don't know if I want to do all that again.

[BurtsGirl]

Well... NOW that you mention it, Kleine.....

[2happymamas]

We are going to be TTC#1 in May. I will be 27 and DW will be 35 at that time. We will have been together for 4 years at that point and married for almost two. We thought about TTC earlier, but, in all reality, we really should wait until then. DW and I are both in graduate school and do not graduate until the first week of May. We thought about trying in March b/c I would only be 6 to 8 weeks pregnant at graduation. But we worried a little about the effect of stress on the fetus. I know that finals are going to be a highly stressful time and I do not want the baby to feel stress, especially at such a crucial time in development. In addition, DW was diagnosed with breast cancer this past August and will not be done with chemo until mid-May. She said that she would really prefer that we wait to TTC until she is done with chemo.

I feel as though, in many ways, we are SO ready. On the flip side, we feel so not ready. Does that make sense? We have talked about TTC for so long and it feels right, but I get this weird feeling of being scared in my stomach when I think about REALLY doing it. Does that make any sense? As ready as we feel, we also have a sense of "OMG. This is such a huge thing. Are we gonna be ok?"

We have a purchased few things at this point, most important being 7 vials of donor #3978 . I have had to stop myself from buying cloth diapers. I think they may become somewhat of an addiction. MIL has already purchased a few thing...a onesie that says Granny loves me and another that says organically made. I have a few names of midwives I can call to get info aboit a homebirth. As much as I really want a homebrith, I am also a bit nervous because, this babe being our first, I have no realy idea of what to expect. I mean, I have read so much about birth, but I am not sure that I have any REAL idea about what to expect.

When all is said and done, I think we would like to have two...maybe three.

[BurtsGirl]

Originally Posted by 2happymamas

I feel as though, in many ways, we are SO ready. On the flip side, we feel so not ready. Does that make sense? We have talked about TTC for so long and it feels right, but I get this weird feeling of being scared in my stomach when I think about REALLY doing it. Does that make any sense? As ready as we feel, we also have a sense of "OMG. This is such a huge thing. Are we gonna be ok?"

We are going through the same thing and it makes perfect sense. I don't think anyone can be COMPLETELY read and prepared for their first child. IT IS HUGE! Because from everything I've read and heard you can't be. Sometimes you just gotta jump and hope for the best. Although I'm with you on the cloth dipes, lol. I've recently bought some cloth mama pads to try out. I'm pathetic, I'm so excited about menstrual pads. I figure if I’m putting my child in cloth why not myself!

We haven't bought our vials yet but we have decided on a bank. Which one did you guys go with? We are looking at Northwest. Are you guy planning to insem at home or IUI with a Doc. Sorry to hijack the thread ladies, Happy mamas, if you want to PM me feel free!

What is everyone doing to prepare there bodies for TTC and pregnancy?

I've given up caffeine (we quit smoking 2 years ago) and workout on the treadmill 4 days a week. I'm also trying to lose a little weight before we start trying and eating healthy.

[2happymamas]

Originally Posted by BurtsGirl

We are going through the same thing and it makes perfect sense. I don't think anyone can be COMPLETELY read and prepared for their first child. IT IS HUGE! Because from everything I've read and heard you can't be. Sometimes you just gotta jump and hope for the best. Although I'm with you on the cloth dipes, lol. I've recently bought some cloth mama pads to try out. I'm pathetic, I'm so excited about menstrual pads. I figure if I’m putting my child in cloth why not myself!

We haven't bought our vials yet but we have decided on a bank. Which one did you guys go with? We are looking at Northwest. Are you guy planning to insem at home or IUI with a Doc. Sorry to hijack the thread ladies, Happy mamas, if you want to PM me feel free!

What is everyone doing to prepare there bodies for TTC and pregnancy?

I've given up caffeine (we quit smoking 2 years ago) and workout on the treadmill 4 days a week. I'm also trying to lose a little weight before we start trying and eating healthy.

We went with Pacific Reproductive in California. They cater to single women and lesbians, which is a plus b/c they are understanding. I actually think that it is owned by two women. I think it is good b/c we both have legal rights to the vials and signed forms with them saying that any child conceived through their specimen is conceived with the expectation that we will both be parents. I know it likely does not have any legal stading, but simply shows the intent that we will both be parents. The attorney siad that would help with the second parent adoption. We are planning to try to get pregnant via home insemination at first. If we do not achieve pregnancy in a few months, we will consider IUI's. But we would LOVE to do it at home.

I quit drinking soda about a month ago. We got a membership at the YMCA and I would love to lose about 20 pounds before May. I am also working on my back muscles so that I will have more strength in labor. I do not know if it will really help, but it gives me something to work towards. I started prenatals a month or so ago.

[joshs_girl]

Originally Posted by Kleine Hexe

So anyone here wanting a baby but feeling nervous about pregnancy?

Absolutely! I have so many fears...the two biggest being, what if I can't get pregnant and then what if something happens? In addition to the whole fear of nine months of M/S, pain of labor, all that fun stuff! The way I (try) to deal with it though, is knowing the only way to overcome the fears is to just jump in! So I try to focus on the fact that until I become pregnant, everything else doesn't matter.

Originally Posted by BurtsGirl

What is everyone doing to prepare there bodies for TTC and pregnancy?

The normal response of trying to loose weight. My recent blood work just showed I was in the very very beginning stages of pre-diabetes, so that has been a huge motivation factor. I think it may have finally *clicked* for me. And like pps have said, I'm just reading a lot of books as well, to get mentally prepared.

One of the best things I think DH and I do is just talk talk talk about it. There are lots of little babies in my world right now, and we just talk about what we would do differently or what we like that we see other parents doing. We also think ahead to how we will try to handle certain situations, things like that. I know it makes me feel much more secure that we're on the same page when it comes to things and, it's just fun to talk about when it's our turn!

[joshs_girl]

2HappyMommas - you aren't my friend Janet, are you?!

[hvl25]

we are going to TTC#4 possibly the end of this month.....does that count as 07? If it doesn't happen this month than hopefully in January

[2happymamas]

Originally Posted by joshs_girl

2HappyMommas - you aren't my friend Janet, are you?!

Nope......or am I?

[DandeCobb]

Hi! i'd love to join this thread I would like to TTC in May or June. I had my first baby Jackson on May 24th. I'm a part time nurse and we think 2 years is a good spacing. I am also nervous about pregnancy last pregnancy i was on bedrest for amonth due to Pre-E and swelled like a ballon and was so uncomfortable, i am also still EBF and don't plan to stop so i wonder about my fertility return, i beleive i am already having ovulation b/c : lots of discharge every 42 days (my prepreg cycle was 42 days long always) and zits and mood all the normal PMS stuff just no actual menstration, i am not going to let myself start TTC early b/c jackson was conceived after one try and my mom conceived my sister and myself in one try both times. lets see, oh i have a Copper IUD so i'll have to get that removed first. and this is really shallow but i am going to be bridesmaid in my SIL wedding in June i want to be skinny for that

[joshs_girl]

Originally Posted by 2happymamas

Nope......or am I?

Well if you are - you best fess up! Although J&J were just married in August

[2happymamas]

Originally Posted by joshs_girl

Well if you are - you best fess up! Although J&J were just married in August

Well, we are J&K and we were married in August of 2005 (the 12th).

[joshs_girl]

Originally Posted by 2happymamas

Well, we are J&K and we were married in August of 2005 (the 12th).

If you tell me you live by the Fairgrounds and got married at the Historical center, I might think someone was playing a trick on me

Actually on topic now, are yall going to TTC at home first? Did you choose a donor that would or would not be open to being contacted later in life? That's J&J's biggest decision right now.

[2happymamas]

Originally Posted by joshs_girl

Actually on topic now, are yall going to TTC at home first? Did you choose a donor that would or would not be open to being contacted later in life? That's J&J's biggest decision right now.

We are going to TTC at home first. I think we will try it for three to four months and if pregnancy is not achieved, we will go to the doctor for IUI'S. We have decided to go with an open ID donor. The bank we are using says that all open ID donors have agreed to not only contact, but at least a one-time in person meeting between the donor and the child. It was important to us b/c we did not like the option of never knowing who the donor was. It may not be a big deal to us, but our children might want to know. Plus, what if there was medical stuff that occured after the age of 18 and the donor or donor's family may be willing to be of assistance? I don't know, I suppose it is really a personal call and what a person is confortable with.