To OP, good suggestions,check out lots of groups,the more diverse,the better.... you never know what type of "style" family you'll click with-
Our family clicks very well with another hs family- we are incredibly relaxed/or unschool types,they're classical scholars....
Ok, I don't mean disrespect to anyone when i say this...I haven't read the whole thread yet,but I have to say something.... I do think the whole RU philosophy has to bear some blame here for rude kids. I think as we mature,and are given the benefit of learning to be well mannered in society,children slowly but surely progress,and make appropriate changes in their behavior,b/c they're learning that rudeness is unacceptable.
...BUT... what if I RU my kids,and feel that expecting them to adapt to 'societys' burdens and expectations is wrong...then what? other kids should adapt to what MY child wants? And it's all ok?
Because that is exactly what some who subscribe to this philosophy seem to be thinking....
In my opinion, not leading our children in the way to go,especially where treating others well is concerned is doing them HUGE disservice,b/c guess what? the reason others don't want to be around our kids who act this way is b/c we,the parents,aren't giving our kids the benefits of what we already know, "if you don't play nice,ain't nobody gonna' play with you!"
And I'm sorry, but if saying"well, as an RU kid,my child isn't rude,just expressing himself honestly..." c'mon folks, there's a huge difference between honesty,rudenss,and learning *tact*.
And those of us who don't agree with RU(we're simply the relaxed sort of folks who have no real label
) When I see one of the many RU kids I know,who at the age of 10-11 years old haven't yet grasped the social niceties of getting along that most other kids have grasped by the age of 4,I do think yes, certain patterns of parenting,and apologetic reasoning (no,it's not the RU,it's just my childs innate,bright honesty) have a lot to do with this sort of kid.
Not that it's just the RU kids(or parents) it happens in all groups,it's probably more a mindset than educational choice....