Nonmaternal child care article? Help!

[Teresa]

Does anyone remember a study/lit. review last year about the effects of Nonmaternal child care?

I know someone who is being heavily pressured to leave baby with a family member and 'go back to work.'
I don't think she needs they money or that she wants to, but the family member is very pushy and used to getting her way.

If I remember correctly, there was a lag in intellectual skills and also more aggressive behavior. . .

Any links will be greatly appreciated!

Teresa

[teachma]

Be careful about using this argument against child care. I will offer the example of my son, who is not an anomoly at the nurturing child care he has attended since he was 4.5 months old. (He is now 2.5 years old). My son has attending this home child care for about 30 hours a week consistently. He hit all developmental milestones very early, including speaking his first word by 7 months old, speaking sentences before his first birthday, and counting to ten by 18 months old. He is also amazingly social, for which I am grateful and appreciative of the child care situation, as he has no siblings yet to encourage this. And he is no more aggressive than the average child his age. We have a number of dedicated child care providers here whom, I am certain, do not feel they are nurturing aggressive, intellectually weak children. Remember, statistics can be skewed in crazy ways to support whatever agenda a researcher or group has. Your friend should simply state to her relative that she does not want to go back to work. In my experience (most of my friends are WOHM) a mother's working can have a detrimental affect on a child if the mom herself resents having to work or is unhappy with the situation. Babies and children of happily employed mamas with trustworthy childcare usually do very, very well!

[DebraBaker]

People should leave new mothers the heck alone.

If she wants to stay home with her baby, let her.

Conversely, I think it's obnoxous to belittle moms who work outside the home as well.

Perhaps you could give this mother support for her choice and let her know those other people have no right to dictate her life for her.

Best I can do.

Debra Baker

[Foobar]

There were 2 studies last year. One supported moms staying home with their children, one showed no difference. It is really just a pick and choose because rarely are other factors included.

Anyway, I agree that you should simply support your friend's decision. She can fight her family as needed, but your role might be best to be a supporter.

[EnviroBecca]

Peers in the research community have made two strong criticisms regarding that study:

1. The definition of "aggressiveness" included many variables that are more typically used as measures of "assertiveness". In other words, daycare kids may be more likely to stick up for themselves, which is not a bad thing.

2. It lumped together ALL situations in which anyone but mother was the caretaker, including father, grandmother, etc. as well as daycare centers of all types.

So I wouldn't suggest that study as "proof" that your friend needs to stay home. Instead, I think her best argument is, "We've decided that this is what's best for OUR family." Say it often and firmly, and hopefully the nosy relative will get the message!

[ShannonCC]

I agree with what others have posted. It does not matter a bit what studies say. The Mama wants to stay home with her baby then the Mama stays home with her baby! She needs to stand up for herself or soon her whole momhood will be her defending her choices to people who shouldn't have a say. It doesn't matter to me if I can find studies that back me up for every little thing. I'm the Mom so I do what I want. End of Discussion. (ok, so Dad has a say too, but NOT Grandma, Great Grandma, Uncle Fester, Aunt Igor, the dog, the mailcarrier, the supermarket cashier . . . ).

[Teresa]

I specifically wanted that article because it did 'lump' grandparents in there, and yes, she is having to defend every single choice she makes--the whole family has an incredible sense of entitlement to baby. MIL left her children to the care of her own MIL and sees this as her rightful time to parent now.

So, does anyone have a link or remember where the study was published?

[Lucky Charm]

Teresa, do you think links will actually help her stand up for herself? i dont have any, but truthfully, if she really wants to stay home, she will. i dont care what a study says, or how much pressure her mil puts on her, but if she doesnt want to leave her baby, then no one, no how can make her.

those studies leave a lot to be desired anyway. one says this, another says that. agression, intellectual lags :Puke
i know plenty of kids of sahm's who are plenty aggressive and not so bright and i know plenty of kids of wohm the same way.

[Very Snoofly]

If you want to find the article, you can probably do a google search....

But I agree that it may not help. Apart from the reasons everyone else has mentioned, there's also this: How much ground would your friend gain with her inlaws if she said, "I won't let you keep my baby because studies show that doing so would result in intellectual delays and social problems?" That would be pretty offensive, in my opinion. (Not that sparing her inlaws' feelings should be her primary concern, but still.)

Plus, is this woman going to need a "study" to defend every one of her parenting choices from here on out? She should learn to say, and repeat and repeat, "This is the decision we have made for our family." End of story.

Sorry, I don't mean to sound unsympathetic, and I do realize how hard dealing with inlaws can be, and standing firm is easier said than done. But she needs to do so for the sake of her child.

[Liz]

Originally posted by Teresa
MIL left her children to the care of her own MIL and sees this as her rightful time to parent now.

Then this study will show that MIL did the wrong thing for her children? That's sure not going to get her on side.

[Teresa]

OK.

Nevermind.

[laralou]

I get you, Teresa. I like to have a study for everything too. I am a science gal, so I throw my "clinical studies" in the face of my mil's and mother's "well, I did it and it didn't hurt anything." (Just did this with the whole "you should give them cereal to help them sleep" argument. I had the clinical studies and MIL had her opinions. Guess who shut up first...)

While everyone is right that she needs to stand up to MIL and tell her to back off (after all it is her baby, not MIL's) , I personally like studies so..............

Here's a link:

Child care leads to behavioral problems

Now be warned, there are many articles that debunk what this study found, but I doubt her MIL will be searching the net anyway.