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Babywearing husbands... really?!

post #1 of 36
Thread Starter 
Anyone have any tips on how I might convince my husband that it is OK for him to use a wrap or carrier for our son? Let me explain.

We don't like leaving DS in the bucket when we shop, one of us has always held him, or we took turns. Now he's old enough to ride in the cart, but after awhile, he wants to be held, which is fine.

I take in the wrap when we go shopping so that I can use it when it's my turn. First off: my husband feels bad about me carrying the baby because Evan is a hefty boy, and I dunno I guess Brian feels the need to carry him for me. Brian complains about how Evan makes his back hurt after awhile but when I suggest handing him to me so I can tie him to me, Brian seems reluctant. I'd like to suggest it, but haven't figured out how, that Brian should try the wrap, it really relieves the back and arm strain, and Evan usually falls asleep in it.

What can I do to get him to try? and how do men really feel about wearing baby. OK, not AP men, Brian is very mainstream, but usually cooperative...

X posted to "Dads"
post #2 of 36
DH loves the freedom of movement + the closeness to DS of babywearing. He hates being restricted or slowed down in any way. Case in point: at the grocery store, he would rather carry two baskets than push around a grocery cart. He does not have the patience to be lugging around a stroller or bucket anywhere. As long as I get carriers in neutral colors, he's game. So I think personality has a bit to do with it.
But you say DH is cooperative, so you might find this article about babywearing dads to be quite convincing. It definitely was an eye-opener for DH when we were pregnant.
post #3 of 36
my dh wouldn't use a sling or a wrap but would use the baby bjorn. i think it's just more mainstream and not as "girly" looking. Silly yes, but he did use it a ton, and i see a lot of men using the bjorn. i actually see more men using the bjorn then i see women using any type of carrier other then a stroller.
i'm conviced that there will be a male babywering phenonomen, they just don't know it.
post #4 of 36
my boyfriend is all about the ergo, it is "masculine" (his words) and slings are "feminine" (his words again).
post #5 of 36
Thread Starter 
Wonderful! Brian would never admit it, but I know he's been feeling left out a bit... He was relieved when he found his own way to put the baby to sleep. He practically begged me to let him put DS to sleep every night because he was just happy he could do something. Thank you. Does anyone else have any suggestions?
post #6 of 36
I agree w/the bjorn. I hated it, but dh loved it. We had a snugli first, that he liked (but the dogs chewed) so we replaced it w/a bjorn. Dh liked them both.
post #7 of 36
dh loves babywearing. he has his own fleece pouch in 'manly' colors; he uses moby like a pro ; he has used my very colourful girasol as well.

what about an ergo? this is a great structured carrier for heavier babies and toddlers, and is very 'manly'.

i asked dh how to convince a guy to wear a baby, and he says to tell him that 'real man wear their babies'
post #8 of 36
I wouldn't get the Bjorn--it's going to quickly hurt his back, and he'll be less likely to want to babywear. But the Ergo is nearly as mainstream looking without the strain on you. There's also the Patapum, and there are "manly" versions of the Beco (black one, brown one, camoflauge), Yamo and Babyhawk.
post #9 of 36

Vote for the Sutemi Pack

We've got a Sutemi Pack that both of us use and I love more than a sling because I never felt really secure with the sling. I always had to have one hand on DS because I was afraid he was going to pop out. But with the Sutemi ... marvelous ... you can put DC on your back, in front or on your hip. Plus the website has lots of pictures of men wearing it which might go a long way to convincing your DH it is "manly."
post #10 of 36
DH wasn't too keen on slings, but would use them when we were out when she was younger. Now, he LOVES the wrap and wears her every day. They go out for a morning walk every day, and he puts her in the wrap. Also, when we're out at the store he wears her. He never could get the front or hip carries down, but he's the rucksack master
post #11 of 36
Mh DH loves our KKAFP. He also uses the Baby Bjorn Active (as do I - the extra lumbar support really helps). He almost always carries her when we're out together.

He likes simple, easy to use carriers. He does not like the Mei Tai or Moby wrap or the ring sling we have. I think they are too fussy to put and get adjusted - he doesn't have the patience to learn how to do it.
post #12 of 36
My dh uses our Maya wrap. It's in a native-style print, so not necessarily "manly" but not feminine either. He gets many comments while wearing our baby(ies). He enjoys it, too. He even wears our dd around the house.
post #13 of 36
dh refuses to use any of my ring slings, even the 'manly' dark blue striped maya that i bought with him in mind.

he loves wearing dd in our meitai. i had the foresight to get a reversible one in black (its from meitaibaby). it has a beautiful panel with embroidered flowers for me :, and reverses to plain black for dh. he was skeptical at first but now we argue over who gets to wear dd in it.

ergos are cool, too. we don't have one but i've been thinking about getting one, and i'll bet that dh would love it.

there is nothing sexier than a babywearing daddy. whenever i see one (which is quite rare here in conservativemainstreamville), it gives me the warm fuzzies.
post #14 of 36
We both use the Moby. The comfort is worth the fuss.
post #15 of 36
My husband loves wearing our little guy. When our son was a newborn, he used an Infantino sling, which was super easy to use and very inexpensive. Now that our son is bigger, he uses the baby bjorn when we're out and about and occasionally uses my Babyhawk mei-tai. It's got a unisex purple print on it, doesn't look "girly" at all.
post #16 of 36
My DH is also mainstream, very much the manly-man outdoorsman type. Here's been my tactics to convince him:

1. show him as many picture I can find of men babywearing under the guise of "getting his opinion on the wrap". Comment casually on how good looking the men are in these pics. :P

2. silently demonstrate how one can get a ton done around the house while babywearing.

3. have carriers in very manly-man prints at his disposal to try when you're not around, and don't ever ask him about them. Just let them be his idea.

4. when he does try one, be sure to comment on how much the baby likes it

DH started out with a maya ring sling that worked until DD decided she didn't want her legs confined & she didn't want to lay down. Then one day when I wasn't home he tried out my moby & informed me it was too small, so I made him a homemade wrap in camouflage, which he's worn constantly for the last 4 weeks or so. Today the DH really wanted to clean the fish he caught yesterday. When I called home he said he needed a longer mei tai because he had to bungee the straps on the Eden in place. (hee hee - he's really resisted using a mei tai up 'til now.) So I just ordered him his own babyhawk in full camo.
post #17 of 36
My dh finds the thought of pushing our dd in a buggy ummm embarassing. He loved to use the front snugli and when we got the baby Trekker it was hands down his favorite. It is made to fit anyone anysize the baby can face in or out. Dh can not multi task. So holding our dd and doing anything else doesn't happen but if she is in the baby Trekker he can. We also like to walk to trails so this was perfect. If we are both out together dh always carries dd. I also liked the baby Trekker but mainly used the sling for short errands.

We live in a very mainstream area.
post #18 of 36
Originally Posted by kidspiration View Post
there is nothing sexier than a babywearing daddy. whenever i see one (which is quite rare here in conservativemainstreamville), it gives me the warm fuzzies.
post #19 of 36
Originally Posted by GypsyGrin View Post
Today the DH really wanted to clean the fish he caught yesterday. When I called home he said he needed a longer mei tai because he had to bungee the straps on the Eden in place. (hee hee - he's really resisted using a mei tai up 'til now.) So I just ordered him his own babyhawk in full camo.
That's so very cool (and ruggedly manly ) of DH!
post #20 of 36
I second the Moby or the Ultimate Baby Wrap. They are not slings and they are very comfortable. My husband (and father!) both wore DS in the Ultimate Baby Wrap...

I also think that if DS is old enough, you can find a "middle ground" with a baby back-pack. It is not as comfy as a sling/wrap, nor as close and intimate, but I think it is better (and easier) than a stroller. They range from very rugged and sporty (Kelty makes some that are this way) to very streamlined and urban. He certainly wouldn't feel that his "masculinity was in question" with one of these. Again, not the most comfy option, but it might be something to get the ball rolling.
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