Sahm Vs Wife

[1stbaby3rddaughter]

Hey ladies, I'm a little confused I need your opinions, I've been a sahm since Taylor was born (8 weeks ago), the first couple of weeks I was really tired and my husband helped me a lot with laundry, cooking and our 2 older girls; as time went by I felt I should be responsible for more, so I resumed my laundry rutine and some cooking , yesterday I cleaned the house, did laundry, went out shopping for some tree ornaments with the girls and visited my dad, while my husband was at work. He finally got home almost at 12a, I stayed up with one of the girls trying to fix her hair because they were going out today. Well finally went to bed around 1a, very tired and of course Taylor decided to put up a show, I was so tired that my husband decided to take over and walk around the house and hold the her until she went back to sleep, but in the process he lost it, he was so mad,he said that working 10-12 hours a day & going to school was a lot and that he can't come home to deal with Taylor, so I just need to get back to the baby's sleep routine until she can sleep better trhu the night.

He claims that I get my self tired doing laundry, cleaning and trying to keep a perfect house, when I should be resting when she sleeps and that way she won't drain me so much.

Has anyone had this problem, how do you balance these thins out? I want to keep my house nice and neat and take care of the three girls and him, but I guess I have to accept thet right now I can't do it all

[TheDivineMissE]

Yep - you gotta let the house slide for a while. I know it's frustrating, I'd like my house to be spotless too. But between the three year old and the new baby, Christmas presents, pets, etc I just don't have the time. Oh well! When we look back at this time we probably won't say "I just wish I'd kept my house cleaner!".

The newborn stage is so short, enjoy the extra rest while you can get it!

[1stbaby3rddaughter]

Originally Posted by TheDivineMissE

Oh well! When we look back at this time we probably won't say "I just wish I'd kept my house cleaner!

Thanks for that, it is absolutely right...

[lab80]

I'm in a similar situation, DH works full time and is a full time student. We only have one child though. My DH really hasn't helped with the cleaning and everything. If he is holding DS and he cries he says "Will you feed this baby?". : Half the time DS isn't hungry just wants to be held a certain way or something simple like that. I've told DH I feel like a single mom sometimes. DH is nearing the end of the sememster and claims "I'll be more helpful when school is done, I've just got so much to do". It doesn't stop him from sitting in front of the TV though. Nor does it stop him from leaving trash and clothes all over, would it kill him to at least say thank you for cleaning up his messes? I'm sorry I'm venting on your post...

[chaibaby]

I may offer a bit of a different perspective. Yes, you might not be able to have everything done as perfectly as you would normally have it (house work, taking care of kids, dinner, Christmas, etc.) BUT you staying at home with your children all day is a full time job too! In fact, its a 24 hour job. I had issues with my DH when Caleigh first arrived b/c he would come home and not understand why I couldn't just sleep while she slept during the day so that it wasn't such an issue at night. We sat down and talked and now he realizes that just b/c he brings home a paycheque and I don't, doesn't mean that my job isn't as busy (if not busier) and as energy-consuming.

I can't nap during the day very well anyhow. I like to take that time to get things done and have some "me" time - whether it be knitting or reading a magazine or even just having a cup of tea. Because when he comes home at night and Caleigh won't calm down, it falls on my shoulders. So, he does have the luxury of watching tv or doing what he wants to do. He had to realize that at 5 am after I nursed her, he had to pitch in once in a while and help with calming her down, changing her diaper, or whatever so that I could get an extra hour of sleep.

So, I think its a compromise. I don't rely on him every day to help out when she's crying or needs attention but he did have to realize that just b/c I "stay at home" doesn't mean I'm not exhausted and need his help when he's home.

Does that make sense? Is there a way you two can work it so that he knows maybe two or three nights a week he'll have to help you out more than normal?

Good luck!
andrea

[jule924]

Originally Posted by lab80

If he is holding DS and he cries he says "Will you feed this baby?". : Half the time DS isn't hungry just wants to be held a certain way or something simple like that.

Sounds like us!! Drives me batty!!! Sorry, I just had to comment.

And yes, some of the housework will have to slide. I personally am not able to nap during the day most days, but that still doesn't mean the housework gets done I'm busy chasing around my 2 yo ds and trying to spend some quality one-on-one time with him while ds#2 is sleeping. These early days of crazy sleep schedules won't last forever (hopefully )