Dh is driving me batty!!!

[mamaofthree]

I know the idea to HS was totally mine, and I never really gave him a say in it. But we have been doing this for about a year and a half now. I am REALLY comfortable with what we do... but my DH is always wanting to know "what we do" everyday, and what greade level I think DD and DS #1 are at. And that we should do "MORE" work books, or order a curriculum!! It drives me crazy! I know for a fact my DD is doing great! She reads like demon... fiction, history, comics, non fiction, etc; she loves to write poetry, songs, and stories; she probably is doing her math at her "grade level" but she loves to cook, balance a "check book" I made for her, tell time, etc. We do science stuff everyday...ie cooking, looking at the stars, reading, going to the zoo, etc. We also spend a lot of time PLAYING!!! Which I know is the thing he doesn't "like" so much. But I feel it is OK. I mean we play stuff to work out problems, ideas, build, whatever. I mean the kids are "learning" while we play. It is just frustrating. Because I know we are doing well.
I gave DH the job of geography/history. We found a book about world hisory/social studies/ geography... a "School book" and he and DD where to read it in the evenings before bed... (she really likes it), but he is always "too tired" or wants to just chill out for a while before bed... WELL FINE!!! But get off my back!
I am really smoking about htis this morning, because he called and was "on line" at work, and looked up some math stuff, curriculum etc, and wants to order it! NO WAY!!! that stuff is way to expensive, and we have loads of work books etc to use up! But he is always doing this! It makes me nuts!
I am not sure how to reassure him that we are fine, that we are on track for her!!!
He actually said to me once (resently) that he didn't feel she has learned anything since she has been home! I was so insulted! I couldn't believe it! He keeps saying we took her out to have her be ahead of her peers, well NO, I DIDN'T!!!! I took her out because I felt her spirit was being crushed, and that I could do a better job then the PS was doing. But he is talking about wanting to send her to a private school in about 2 years that cost $650.00 a MONTH!!!!!! so she will be sure to be ready for college! She will only be in 6th grade! HE IS DRIVING ME NUTS!!!!!! I mean I would like her to go to college... but that may not be her choice... even if she goes to school! PLUS if we send her to that school we will have to send the boys eventually... HELLO!!! Then I will have to work full time and more to just pay for that!
Any advice on how to reassure him that we are doing GREAT!!!????




HEATHERH

[khrisday]

What about keeping a learning log so that he can see all the wonderful and education things the kids are doign throughout the day? Learn to write in educational-ese so that he can see the value in her "play". This is what amny unschoolers who use a charter school have to do. Maybe it would help your dh to see it written down like that.

[anythingelse]

Is someone asking him about the hsing alot, maybe a relative in his side he feels accountable to?
I think some men like to see thing tactile touch 'proof' of learning, where as women and mothers especially can sense when a child is on track. Also my take on this is that some parents are naturally competitive about their own children and want the child's academic success awarded in some tangible way in order to show the world that they are good parents. It may help to introduce him to some hsing dads that have been hsing for several years. How to reassure him??? Well you can use assessment tests or try to have family nights when the kids 'show off' their art work, recite poems, read a story they wrote during a special time. I think I would sit down and talk this out, clearly explain to him what goals you set for the kids this year, write them out and check them off as finished. Are you doing any recordkeeping for the state? khrisday is right on about having a journal, did your dh have an idea that you would be homeschooling using curriculum and he does not understand unschooling??? Good luck to you!
Mary
mom of 4

[Alexander]

Give him homework. Make him read "Free At Last" by Dr. D Greenburg (Sudbury School Press) and "How Children Fail" by, J Holt for starters. If there is any comeback from him, then he hasn't read enough. There are then other books by these two authors, and Mimsy Sadofsky that will bend his mind straight.

a

Typos typos!

a

[EmsMom]

I have found that I can reassure my husband (and myself) by using the various scope and sequence materials that are available. I use them backward, to check that things have been covered rather than planning forward. You might try books like What Your Sixth Grader Should Know which is widely available. That type of book is fairly inexpensive and gives a decent overview, although you will probably found they you have gone WAY beyond the suggestions in the book. My husband is a teacher and is always bringing home some school idea or another that I am supposed to implement. I don't mind the ideas so much, but he also brings home these incredibly boring teacher texts on how different things should be taught. It makes me crazy and makes me feel that he doubts me when obviously my dd is doing great!

[berryMO]

mamaofthree any progress?

My Husband is a little aprehensive about me being able to do ok homeschooling. I have failed miserably doing preschool. My kid is just not ready to sit down and do study type stuff. He is learning a lot of stuff this year but is resistant to structured activities.

My husband is concerned that I won't be able to make him settle down and learn the things he "Needs" to. Even that is so subjective.

I am seriously thinking about a curriculum just to be able to show my husband mile stones. I am going to keep it simple and basic for my first year.

CLE offers a teaching training course and I am thinking about doing it this summer. Mybe I can learn some stuff and also make my husband more comfortable about the idea of homeschooling.

[Alexander]

WOW gardenrn

"Fail at pre-school"???????

I think you are being too hard on yourself. The only way to fail at preschool is to not provide enough play-time.

Seriously. You should check out www.sudval.org/ Get back to me if this makes even a little sense.

a

[berryMO]

Well Alexander, my feeling of failure is more of an expectation thing. I think my then 4yo now 5 yo is actually on target for his age.

I have been talking about homeschooling ever since we had children and my husband has been worried that it might be too hard to get our son to settle down and learn (like structured sit down learning doing work books and such). Well in a way he was right.
(edited to take out the word not)

So for a trial run last fall I bought some really simple work books. I picked out really colorful stuff and activity books. I put together a little plan/journal and well to make this short....

The first 2 days went fine. day 3 refused to do work book of Mom's choice, so let him pick one out. Day 4 refused even 5 min with a work book. Next week even refused to sit down and read books with Mom. He likes computer games so started encouraging computer games that had letter, numbers, words that type of thing. He caught on and refused any educational computer games.

He is actually picking up letters, sounds, and small words. I am not sure how or why. If you spell something out so he won't know what you are talking about, he guesses it quite often. He loves to count things outside when in his own play but doesn't want to be "taught". He acutally recognizes his numbers up to 10. Can tell me what number in a parking lot we are parked in that type of thing.

[berryMO]

Oh I forgot to say, Alexander, Thankyou for the link. I'll go check more out about it now.

[Alexander]

Originally posted by gardenrn
I have been talking about homeschooling ever since we had children and my husband has been worried that it might be too hard to get our son to settle down and learn (like structured sit down learning doing work books and such). Well in a way he was right.
(edited to take out the word not)

Yeah? Well I think your son's got probably the best idea about what he needs to learn. Really! I'm not being flippant here.

If he does not learn to read by the age of say 10, do you really think he's not going to read? Of course not! I myself could not read age 9. Not only that, but I did not know how to use the days of the week, what a clock was for, the months of the year (except where christmas is, "It's when it snows!" I once said), and certainly could not write or "spell".

Children NEVER EVER learn in a straight line. Neither do they learn what we adults expect them to learn.

BUT they are always learning. And generally, left alone, they bite into the most dificult tasks that their environment can throw at them. This might not be in some text book that some egghead company has decided needs to in a curriculum, butwhatever the child has decided to learn about, you can bet my cute backside it is important to him.


I know it is hard at the moment, but trust your child. What was developed and taught in what we see in modern education is the logic and common sense of a bygone age, the Industrial Age.

There is a new reality, which is why there are so many problems in education the world over (in long since industrialized nations).

a

[berryMO]

Alexander ~I went to your link and found this article:
Age 4 and up
I loved it! It was such an eye opener! According to him my 5yo has a completely developed ability for problem solving, and I should give him way more credit and responsibility than I do.

I loved the site it would be such a wonderful experice to be able to send your child to a school like that. I'm guessing what you are using as your point is that any parent can duplicate that type of a school atmosphere in their home with some effort. Giving children lots of oppertunity to do and learn.

[Alexander]

Originally posted by gardenrn
I loved the site it would be such a wonderful experice to be able to send your child to a school like that. I'm guessing what you are using as your point is that any parent can duplicate that type of a school atmosphere in their home with some effort. Giving children lots of oppertunity to do and learn.

Children learn where-ever they find a challenge. A challenge for children is something that they have decided to master. That is why just about the only place that children do NOT learn is at schools. The danger of home schooling is that the fundermental errors comitted in schools are duplicated at homes where parents simply become better or more effective syringes, injecting worthless drivle from the last Educational Age into the minds of their children.

What you have mentioned above is the possibility of Un-schooling at home (a term I hate, but coined by a man I truely admire, John Holt), and while better than the ruinous nonesence that goes on in most schools, not quite perfect.

a