pediatric dentists - Page 2

[whateverdidiwants]

My dd (4.75 years) just had to have a filling done a few weeks back, and the ped dentist had no problem with both dh and I being there in the room. We had gotten dd a Dora Goes to the Dentist book a while back, and in the week prior to the appointment we read it over and over again so she knew what to expect, and she did absolutley fine.

[*jeanine*]

Roar - please remember, you're AP (I'm assuming, since you're on MDC), and most parents aren't. Therefore, most parents with whom a dentist has contact (at least my dh) aren't. Parents *aren't* helping the child when they say stuff like "Now you're going to get a shot and it's going to hurt."

If they don't want to deal with parents they shouldn't be a dentist for children because children come with parents. It is the dentist's job to find a way to set limits for parents and work with them to help children.

This street goes both ways - as a parent it is the parents job to *help* the dentist help the child, and, unfortunately, there are many parents out there who are unwilling/unable to do that.
You are right that a parent should be given a chance to sit quietly in the corner and read their magazine. And if all parents could do that, I'm sure parents wouldn't be banished from the room. It's the parents who won't who give us all a bad name.

[Roar]

Originally Posted by jeaninevp922

Roar - please remember, you're AP (I'm assuming, since you're on MDC), and most parents aren't. Therefore, most parents with whom a dentist has contact (at least my dh) aren't. Parents *aren't* helping the child when they say stuff like "Now you're going to get a shot and it's going to hurt."
This street goes both ways - as a parent it is the parents job to *help* the dentist help the child, and, unfortunately, there are many parents out there who are unwilling/unable to do that.
You are right that a parent should be given a chance to sit quietly in the corner and read their magazine. And if all parents could do that, I'm sure parents wouldn't be banished from the room. It's the parents who won't who give us all a bad name.

I stand by my earlier posts. Children have parents. Helping children means including their parents. If someone isn't comfortable with that they shouldn't select a job involving children.

I would suggest part of the job of the pediatric dentist is to find a way to help parents learn what they can do to help their kids. Having a blanket policy that parents can't be there hurts children and it hurts parents. Yes, it makes the dentist's life easier I'm sure but it isn't supposed to be about what makes the dentist's life easier it is supposed to be about taking care of the children.

And, I'll note that part of what makes parents wary is that many dentists aren't AP! If no dentist on this planet had pinned a kid down, kept performing a procedure though the child was screaming no, molested a kid, told a kid not to be cry baby, etc. parents wouldn't be so worried about leaving their children unsupervised with dentists.

[honeybee]

Ugh. Mercury in fillings. Yet another thing to worry about, and no dentists from the site listed near us. :

ETA: Yes! I just remembered reading an add about a merc-free dentist in a local magazine. I found the add and made a phone call. They will see a 3 yo for a filling, and they leave it up to the parents to decide whether to come with or not. We have an appointment for January.

[veganf]

Originally Posted by honeybee

But, I know the ped dentists don't "let" parents be there when kids are getting work done. This is not acceptable to me. He's only 3 years old! If he has to go through something rather traumatic, then he needs me by his side so he knows I haven't abandoned him.

But, he needs the tooth filled, or the decay could become an abcess and infiltrate his permanent teeth. Can a ped dentist refuse to see him if I insist on going back with him? Do they all use restraints? Has anyone dealt with this? What do you do? Any advice for me?

EEEKKK! I'd never go to a dentist that didn't allow me to be there with my children!!! My oldest just went to the dentist yesterday for the first time. It is a "general & cosmetic" dentistry practice, so they see adults and children. They were WONDERFUL, and ALWAYS let parents be with their children, and there are definitely no restraints! There are mild sedatives that can make children or nervous adults more at ease.
I'd widen your search radius and keep looking for a better dentist.

[honeybee]

UPDATE:

We went to see the holistic dentist I found, and the office was outstanding. Everyone was very helpful and child-friendly. They had a great little room right off the waiting room with toys in it for the kids to play with. I went back with ds1 for his consultation appointment, and the hygeinist showed him what everything did and helped him feel comfortable. They looked at his teeth and found the same cavity as the other dentist found. Then we went out to wait for his cavity-filling appointment. It ended up being a long wait, because they had an emergency come in. But, the receptionist was very apologetic and brought us updates. The kids happily played in the toy room, and it was not a big deal.

Dh went back with ds1 to get his cavity filled, because ds2 had fallen asleep on me nursing by that point. I did hear ds1 crying at one point. But he came out smiling. Everybody told him what a "good job" he did, and he got some stickers. He sat on dh's lap the whole time, and dh said he was more scared by the noises the tools made than anything else.

A couple of days later, ds1 got a card in the mail from the dental assistant who worked with him. She said it was great meeting him, and she sent him a movie pass for doing so well. He was thrilled, and still tells everyone about the card she sent him!

[mattemma04]

I had one say no to parents,and another say yes.The yes one though used amalgam.We finally found a family practice that was ok with parents,no amalgam/fluoride treatments.Call around.

Glad to read you found someone good!

[RedWine]

Wow -- we have a fantastic pediatric dentist. He's wonderful. Both my girls (age 4 and age 22 months) have seen him. He is so nice, so professional, and so happy to have the parents right there with the kid.

I can't imagine leaving a 3 year old in the room with a dentist. How traumatizing, and what a great way to ensure that the kid hates going to the dentist in the future!! I would keep searching til you found another one.

[thepeach80]

I'm so glad the visit went so well!

We love our ped dentist. He's pretty much as far away from us as possible and still be in the same town, but we go see him when needed (at least every 6 mos). The boys love it b/c of all the trains he has and TVs in the ceiling. I've always been allowed w/ them. AJ went in Nov and Evan came to watch to prepare for his visit and I had Ilana there too! We even got to talk strollers and carseats since he has 2 little boys too that are 18 mos apart. Did I mention I liked him...lol.

[AuntNi]

Honeybee, you are a superstar for researching and finding a dentist that worked for your family! I'm so so glad everything went OK and was a positive experience.

[Zach'smom]

I didn't even realize that there were ped dentists that didn't allow parents to stay in the room with their child!!!! Ds has a fantastic ped dentist. The waiting room is filled with toys and a video game for older kids. I go back with him. The first few visits he sat on me in the chair. They covered both of us with lead aprons when he needed an X-ray. The hygenists all wear smocks with animals or cartoon characters on them. Ds was even given "special" glasses to wear so that the lights didn't shine in his eyes. He got to choose his flavor of toothpaste. The hygenist is gentle and kind. She explains everything before it happens. As does his dentist. There is also a TV they can watch from the chair if that helps keep your child calm. Or Ds can listen to music. When the dentist is all done ds gets to pick out a prize, and gets a bag with toothpaste, floss and a new toothbrush in it. He has also gotten a card that says he is brave and he can use it at a local restaraunt for a free meal.

The dentist and hygenist also explain everything to me as they go along. And ask if DS or I have questions. Then at the end while DS is picking out his prize and I can talk to the dentist more.

Ds loves going to the dentist and is not afraid at all because it is such a friendly place. I thought that was the norm for pediatric dentists!!!
I would never take DS to a dr. or dentist if I couldn't remain with him!!!!