Helping 3 yo understand "No Christmas for us"? - Page 2

[wifty]

I think that its the age to notice the 'pretty' things. I know my 3 year old is all a-ga-ga about lights and would care less if they reason they are there is becasue we were celebrating christmas or that I have a hangnail. She just likes the lights.

I would assume that your son just likes the lights and if you could find a way to give him lights and link it with your faith.....all the better. Maybe its time for you to start a new tradition for yourself? :-)

with smiles

[MAMom]

We're dealing with this too this year with our 3 1/2 y.o. He didn't notice Christmas last year, but he sure does this year.

We do many of the things that others have posted - read Hanukkah books every night (we start doing this right after Thanksgiving), play dreidel, having friends over to play dreidel, do Hanukkah crafts (stickers, stamping), went to a big Hanukkah party at our synagogue, and will be having 2 family Hanukkah parties this weekend.

We talk a lot about being Jewish, and DS tells people "we're Jewish, we don't celebrate Christmas" or "we're Jewish, we celebrate Hanukkah", but we do live in a highly Christian community, and there are lights and decorations everywhere, and everywhere we go in town people want to talk to him about Christmas & Santa. I usually nip the conversation in the bud.

But he does love looking at all the lights (who wouldn't?) and he waves and says hi to all the plastic santas he sees from the car. And he loves Christmas music (which we try to avoid, but they sing at preschool).

When DH was little, his teachers told him there was no santa but he had to keep the secret form the other kids. Personally, I feel like that might be a little bit too much responsibility to put on a 3 y.o.

I grew up in a Catholic household, so I've spent many years getting over "losing" Christmas. We're committed to raising our kids Jewish, so there are no dual celebrations in our household. We typically go away for Christmas Eve and Christmas day - to a hotel somewhere nice with a pool & jacuzzi but funds were spent on another vacation this year - so it will be rental movies & jammie day for us on Dec. 25 this year!

[mamaduck]

It seems to be a grass is greener issue, at least around here lately!

My 6 yo. goes to a little private school where there only about 10 kids in each grade. Many of his classmates are Jewish. Their mothers have been coming in regularly this month and teaching them Jewish customs, songs, games, reading stories, etc. Today they made paper dreidles and latkes. (Am I spelling these things even close to correctly??? )

So ds. asked me this afternoon if next year, maybe we could have Hanukkah instead of Christmas? I really stammered and stumbled over that one. I tried to explain that its a sacred part of Jewish custom, and not just for fun! And that it is definately not a contest to see who can throw the best holiday.

Anyway -- he hasn't asked again. He is enjoying school this month though!

[P-chan]

I'm in a similar boat as MAMom, although my son goes to a Jewish preschool so there's not Christmas there (whew!).

To the OP, that must be tough to hear. My 3.5-year-old has noticed Christmas lights (of course) but doesn't know about Santa. Although he'll find out at a birthday party tomorrow, where the old guy will make an appearance.

Here's what I'm trying to do:
1. Not use the word "but," because it sounds like such a letdown. Instead of, "We don't do Christmas...but we do Hanukkah," I'd say, "We don't do Christmas. We do Hanukkah!"
2. Talk about solstice and Kwanzaa as other celebrations that happen this time of year, even if we don't have them in our house.
3. Enjoy Christmas lights, but avoid the over-the-top stuff. Such as Santa's Wonderland at the mall.
4. Light candles every night, eat Hanukkah gelt, and enjoy warm fuzzy family time.
5. We use the eight nights as an opportunity to catch up on social obligations, trying to invite a friend or two over each night. Like a playdate, but in the late afternoon and with candles. On Wednesday next week we're going to have the 3 families with kids on our block over for a party, and my son will have a chance to teach his friends about the holiday.

[hellyaellen]

as a christian whos given up christmas b/c of pagan assocoations i'm dealing with this with my 7 year old. this is our first year not doing any of it. at least not at home (i'm still going (i guess) to the family dinner). i've also not let her participate in some of the school celebration.

i don't have a lot of advice but i do know what your going through. its tough. i think it being in one's own uniquie family does become something they appreciate when they're older though.