Well...Just minutes ago my three year old ds hit me with his baseball bat. I was holding his brother, so he got a piece of ds#2's leg, along with my backside. It took every ounce of patience in my body not to do something irrational.
Dh and I calmly told ds#1 that we needed to go inside for a snack and he started freaking out. Before I could get another sentence out to CALMLY talk to him about why he needed to have something to eat and drink, he wound up and cracked me with his bat. It HURT, so I handed my crying babe (who got the tail end of the swing) to my dh and picked up my ds#1 and carried him into the house.
The pain was pretty great, so I did end up losing conrtol a bit. I yelled "You NEVER hit people with your bat" as I picked him up and carried him into the bedroom. I said rather loudly, "You hit me and your brother with your bat. I am very angry right now, so I need to walk away from you right now so that I don't yell at you, but I think I was yelling. Then I went back to check on my ds#2 (who was fine by that point) and I paced around trying to get control of myself. Meanwhile ds#1 was bawling in the bedroom (with the door open) and screaming "Mommy I'm sorry. I didn't mean to"
Anyway...I went back in to check on ds#1 and told him that I needed another minute or two to get control of myself and that I would drink some water and come back and give him a hug. I drank my water and then I held him and talked to him about why we don't hit: You can cause people physical pain, you can seriously injure someone, we use bats for hitting baseballs and not people and I reminded him that he already knew that. I told him that part of the responsibility of using a baseball bat is knowing how to be safe with a baseball bat. I told him that he would not be able to use his bat for the rest of the day, but he could try again tomorrow. He is a baseball nut, so this is a rahter harsh consequence for his hitting me, but I think he needs to know how serious hitting a person with a baseball bat is. If he hit his brother with the force he hit me, it could have been horrible.
Not trying to hijack your thread, but showing you an example of something that just occurred and how I handled it. I am always wondering if I am handling things in the best possible way for my dss and how my dss preceive my reactions to their behaviors. It is so hard to stay in control when I am in physical pain.
In a perfect world , we could anticipate these types of things every time. I know that ds#1 should have come in for a snack and a nap a half hour before he did, but dh was in charge
ag I try to head off any situations that would cause my ds to hit, but I am not 100% successful.