I am involved in an Adopt-A-Family program through a local shelter. This year the recipient I am shopping for is a young woman and her 2yo son. I took ds with me to the toy store to pick out toys for the 2yo. I explained that we were buying toys for a little boy because his family didn't have enough money to buy him any presents for Christmas. Ds asked "What about his dad?" (He knows that dh goes to work to earn money for us to buy things, so I assume that's why he asked.) And I said "Well, he doesn't have a dad that lives with him. His mommy probably works to earn money, but doesn't have enough to buy presents after paying for food and other important things." (I don't really know what the story is, but they were presented as a family of two, so I imagine the father is no longer in the picture.) Ds asked why he didn't have a daddy, and I said that I didn't know why.
Then ds went on to say how sad he was that the little boy didn't have a dad. And it was then that I didn't really know how to move forward with the discussion, because I didn't want to enforce that you have to have a traditional family to be happy. I explained to him that there are all types of different families. I eventually ended up saying that for us, yes, we would be really sad if Daddy was no longer living with us. But that a lot of families are very happy with just a mommy, or just a daddy, or two mommies or two daddies.
He seemed satisfied but I was left feeling unsure about what he had taken away from it. I mean on one hand, it is sad from his perspective that the little boy doesn't have a daddy. (Although I did explain that he had a daddy, but that I didn't know if the daddy was still a part of his life.) But I do want him to appreciate that families come in all shapes and sizes, and that they don't have to look like ours does in order to be happy.
Is there something else you would have added to this discussion to convey that message?
Then ds went on to say how sad he was that the little boy didn't have a dad. And it was then that I didn't really know how to move forward with the discussion, because I didn't want to enforce that you have to have a traditional family to be happy. I explained to him that there are all types of different families. I eventually ended up saying that for us, yes, we would be really sad if Daddy was no longer living with us. But that a lot of families are very happy with just a mommy, or just a daddy, or two mommies or two daddies.
He seemed satisfied but I was left feeling unsure about what he had taken away from it. I mean on one hand, it is sad from his perspective that the little boy doesn't have a daddy. (Although I did explain that he had a daddy, but that I didn't know if the daddy was still a part of his life.) But I do want him to appreciate that families come in all shapes and sizes, and that they don't have to look like ours does in order to be happy.
Is there something else you would have added to this discussion to convey that message?
