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attachment parenting

post #1 of 13
Thread Starter 
hi everyone.

i was wondering if anyone practices this kind of parenting and how it works for you.

i really don't know much about it, so any info you could give me would be great.

does attachement parenting work if neither parent is a stay-at-home?

and what is this about "wearing" your baby? that expression makes me laugh! heheheh

thanks a lot in advance.
post #2 of 13
Actually, this is an Attachment Parenting message board. Many of the members practice AP, and many others practice a modified version of sorts. i do not know the exact definition of AP, but i have coslept, breastfed, and responded instinctually to each of my children, which i think is key. each child and each mom is different. i dont think you have to be home full time all the time to AP, as i work parttime. i am sure some will disagree, but almost all will agree with putting your childs needs first. gentle discipline is another example (to me anyway).

I would probably not giggle at the baby wearing. Have you heard of slings? I used a snugli, and put my baby in that, and "wore" her for most of the day. i also held, carried and rocked her in my arms. my second and third child did not need that level of contact.
post #3 of 13
post #4 of 13
I love that expression! "I wore my baby"

We use a baby bjorn (I don't like slings) and DH will often "wear" Goo at the mall. It's just easier to carry her that way than in the stroller.

We both work (I am part-time). You don't need to be a SAHM to be an AP parent. You don't have to be Mom to be an AP parent, Dads should do it too!

I am a cross between mainstream and AP, but I treat my daughter with respect and we work with her and help her learn about this world!
post #5 of 13
AP has worked great for our son. Granted, he's only 6 months, but so far its been great! He was very fussy as a newborn - cried all the time when he was awake. We held him all the time, co-slept, breastfed, and gave him everything we had.... Now he is a beautiful, smart, blissful boy! People tell me all the time how they can't believe how *good* he is - he hardly ever cries and yet he is very alert & interactive. I have also seen this in a lot of other AP moms babies as well.

I think AP in general is just meeting a child's needs. For example: picking them up when they cry, feeding on demand as opposed to a schedule, letting them sleep in your bed if that works for you. Its about nuturing as opposed to scheduling and teaching a baby to be *independent* as some methods do. We don't really *wear* our baby. We held him a lot in our arms as a newborn because he hated the sling. Now he likes the sling but he's too heavy to carry ALL the time (22 lbs). At home I often just put him down when I need to do something. We co slept at first but recently have put him in the crib. I think co sleeping works great in the beginning but started to actually interfere with his sleep as he grew older.

I think you can be AP and be a working mom. Dr. Sears talks about how cosleeping can be a great way to bond if you are away from your baby during the day. The Baby Book by Dr. Sears is a great AP resource!
post #6 of 13
As others have mentioned, AP is about what you do with your baby/child, but mostly how you respond to your little one. It's treating your baby with respect, "seeing through the eyes of your child", and being aware of what he/she is capable of developmentally.

Bf'ing, sleeping with mom/parents and wearing baby are big parts of AP.

the baby sling was truly helpful for our colicky dd; it just makes your life such a pleasure, by giving you two free hands AND letting you carry your baby on you. and it is so comforting for your baby to be close to you in this way.

Dr. Sears. the ped. who apparently coined the term 'attachment parenting', describes it as what you would instinctively do if you were stranded on a deserted island with a baby.

it is generally quite easy to identify AP babies - they typically are very alert, make lots of eye contact with people, are connected to moms/parents, develop empathy at early ages; at least, this is true of those I know - and I'm sure there are variations.

I encourage you to find out all you can about this and other parenting philosophies - it will definately benefit you and yours. good luck
post #7 of 13
As others have mentioned, AP is about what you do with your baby/child, but mostly how you respond to your little one. It's treating your baby with respect, "seeing through the eyes of your child", and being aware of what he/she is capable of developmentally.

Bf'ing, sleeping with mom/parents and wearing baby are big parts of AP.

the baby sling was truly helpful for our colicky dd; it just makes your life such a pleasure, by giving you two free hands AND letting you carry your baby on you. and it is so comforting for your baby to be close to you in this way.

Dr. Sears. the ped. who apparently coined the term 'attachment parenting', describes it as what you would instinctively do if you were stranded on a deserted island with a baby.

it is generally quite easy to identify AP babies - they typically are very alert, make lots of eye contact with people, are connected to moms/parents, develop empathy at early ages; at least, this is true of those I know - and I'm sure there are variations.

I encourage you to find out all you can about this and other parenting philosophies - it will definately benefit you and yours. good luck
post #8 of 13
I encourage you to read as much as you can about AP. Whether or not you choose to co-sleep/wear your baby/etc is up to you, the key is to treat your baby with respect and, IMO, to not rush teaching your baby to be independent ( how independent can a baby be? They look to parents to have all of their needs met, that's just the way they are).
I breastfeed, co-sleep, do not let my baby CIO as a sleep training method and do my best to balance meeting both of our needs without either of us crying . Slings didn't work for us, but I do try to hold my baby as much as possible and spend time playing with her.
Good luck to you!
post #9 of 13
To add to what others have already said, yes, you can AP even if both parents work or are otherwise busy outside the home. It can become more difficult, though, in part because AP is often more work-intensive re interaction with and care for your child. The strong bond that often develops also can make a lot of moms (in particular) feel even more ambivalent towards their out-of-the-home job than they would if using another childrearing style.

Incidently, I do work outside the home, as does dh.

How old is your child, if you have one? If you have a child, do you breastfeed? How do you respond to your child's cries? What is your child's sleeping arrangement? How does your child like his/her sleeping arrangment? How much physical contact do you have with your child?
post #10 of 13
Oops, double post
post #11 of 13
Thread Starter 
thanks everyone so much for your replies!

i've been doing some research and it sounds like i am a natural born attachment parenting kinda momma.

i ordered a couple of books, including Dr. Sears'. i'm looking forward to learning more about it all.

marlena, i will have my first baby in September-- can't wait!!!

thanks again!
post #12 of 13
Woohoo! - congrats!!
post #13 of 13
Quote:
Originally posted by chapulina


Dr. Sears. the ped. who apparently coined the term 'attachment parenting', describes it as what you would instinctively do if you were stranded on a deserted island with a baby.

chapulina
Great quote ...I forgot I read this and you refreshed it for me...
tyvm!
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