Help - Loud 3 yr old when putting baby down for a nap

[geogirl]

Hi I have two boys one 3 and one 4 months. I am having an issue where my older one is always loud so that the baby can't fall asleep. I think He forgets what is happening and then gets loud. My problem also is that I get angry when this happens and then bad mama takes over which I really don't like. I have spanked him and I hate myself for it. I think I am falling back onhow I was treated as a child. I'd really appreciate some help with this. Sorry I can't elaborate rifght now my baby needs me. Oh when I react to my older one he then hugs me and asks to play I know he wants attention but I'm trying to tell him that when the baby is napping we will really get to play. KWIM?

Rebecca

[laurajean]

geogirl,

I have a 27.5 mos old. And, I care for a 1 year old. For a while, it was really hard to get my ds to understand the need for calm when the 1 year old was falling asleep. Sooooo, I started doing something which I originally thought was really bad. Now, I think why did I do it sooner. Can you guess what it is?

It's television. That's right. On some days when my ds is being particularly demanding and I need to put the 1 year old down for a nap. I turn on the tube for an hour. So, if I were you, I'd cut myself some slack. IMHO, tv is better than a spanking.

~Laura

[Alexander]

Is he getting loud when the baby is already napping?

1) If so, this is a pretty lucky situation as you can use this time to really give you elder son some dedicated time. Break out the blocks or Lego and make railways, airports or whatever, always keeping a gentle voice. Over time he'll see this as the time that fantasy comes alive, at low volume.

If you do this in the next room, it's just far enough from the babe not to disturb should he get noisy, and close enough for you to hear the baby.

2) When he gets loud, always reply in a whisper. I often whisper reply "I can't hear you because your wisper has disappeared!"

Now when my kids need my attention, they come and whisper to me!!!

a

Sheesh, so many typos!

a

[LiamnEmma]

I've used both the above things for helping my son remember to stay quiet once dd is asleep (although she's now 2, and it took me almost until now to figure the next thing out, so don't feel badly, please!). When she is going to sleep though, I have ds come lay down in the room with the both of us, quietly, and once dd falls asleep he's allowed to do the activity of his choice as a reward for "helping me put Emma to sleep". He usually chooses to bake cookies. Good luck, it's hard, and I agree that the tv is not the most evil thing in the world.

[leafylady]

3 year olds. Mine constantly baffles, enrages and enchants me. The only thing I can do is make just a few rules and try to hold firm on them.

Yes, I use tv a lot for this. I also use timeouts. I have stopped nursing the baby to take him to a timeout, something he didn't expect at the time. If the baby is going to wake up anyway, you might as well take the 3 yr old to a timeout.
Another idea is a bribe, oops, I meant a reward, with a healthy treat. Reward the quiet time with a healthy fruit snack or a sweet dried fruit. Call it a fruity chew and they think it's candy.

It gets better in a few months, when the baby can crawl and bug the heck out of the 3 yr old.