Messy house pictures- I need the embarassment - Page 3

[mrzmeg]

A quick way I discovered that helps me get things "straightened up" is to go through a room and put everything that is on the floor or lay around on top of furniture/shelves into a big rubbermaid bin. (I have been know to use large cardboard boxes also)

That's the way I did it the first few yrs of my marriage...
Yeah, five yrs later, that stuff is still in the bins :

[CariOfOz]

hi, new to this board!

Originally Posted by Penelope

Small plea from a former messy child... If you can bear it, shut the door and vow to just ignore it as much as you can. Cleaning my room was such an ongoing source of conflict and distress for me through my whole childhood that I'm cringing just thinking about it. And despite all my mom's determined effort, I'm still messy. So she could have saved herself a lot of yelling and punishment and attempts to shame me into being neater, and just let me be.

I am SO SO SO with you there! I was a slob of a child & teenager... I'm a very very neat person NOW though.. just shut that door for now and work on the rest of the house..

Originally Posted by mommaof3boz

OK new pics of what you've done thus far

YES update pics!

Originally Posted by A&A

start with the stairs. That's a serious tripping hazard.

Absolutely! That was the first thing I thought when I looked at the pics... clear those stairs off so your family will be safe to start with
I ALWAYS start with my kitchen when I've let the house get away from me... because I spend so much time there that when the rest of the house overwhelms me I can retreat to my clean kitchen for a before tackling some more. I'm a HUGE fan of the flylady 15mins at a time rule...You can get really get a lot done in 15minute bursts!!! Hope you're going great guns with it now!!!!

That's the way I did it the first few yrs of my marriage...
Yeah, five yrs later, that stuff is still in the bins

Throw that stuff away! if you havent emptied it in 5yrs, take those bins to the bin and dump them now You'll feel so much better!

[Penelope]

Originally Posted by RiverSky

Good points, Penelope, and no, I don't shame her. I've just been finding it depressing because I can't get myself to clean it once again. My DD actually LOVES it when her room is clean, she gets so excited but I guess it is too much for her to handle. There are certain things she loves to clean and tidy but when her room is a mess, which it becomes quickly, it's too much for her. But I don't expect much from her, she's just 5. I'm not even the type of mom who asks my children to clean, I just keep hoping she will play with one thing and put it away, or at least just mess it up a certain amount, not completely destroy it and take things apart (like her very cool, expensive doll canopy bed....which for some reason, she keeps stepping on and breaking...).

I don't shame her, I don't yell at her, I don't even get angry, I just feel depressed inside. I will work very hard to not let her know and to better control my feelings or find a solution for them. She's just 5 anyway, I don't expect her to keep it clean or tidy or anything. I just wish it wouldn't get destroyed so quickly. KWIM?

I totally do know. My older child is five, and she's not really tidy, either. Plus my kids share a fairly small bedroom, so sometimes the mess is overwhelming.

I didn't mean to project my whole mom/daughter relationship with my mom onto you - just to float the idea that there's potential for some ongoing, painful conflict there that could be avoided. It is hard to pay for nice things, or make nice things, for your child and then see them damaged or not cared for. But it's also *really* hard to be an untidy child who gets scolded for that instead of praised for her good qualities.

Hope I didn't come off wrong, there.

[RiverSky]

Originally Posted by Penelope

Hope I didn't come off wrong, there.

Nope, don't even worry about it. Your post just showed me that I wasn't very clear in mine and it did give me something to think about. I don't want my daughter to ever feel badly inside due to having a messy room. My room gets messy sometimes, too, and I certainly don't want anyone thinking badly of me JUST for that!!!

[Tradd]

Re messy kids:

Thinks it depends on the level of the mess. It's one thing for some toys to be on the floor, and quite another to have all dresser drawers that have "thrown up" onto the floor!

[TexasSuz]

I think you should take pictures when you are finished so we can all praise you!

[cdmaze]

I will TOTALLY post pictures.

Let me just say that the kids room is pretty small- and shared by a 5 and 3 year old. We only have two bedrooms and it has no closet. It messes up VERY easily. It also collects laundry to fold it has the door to the back which is where our laundry room is.

About the drawers that have "thrown up" (lol!), that would be my fault. Ask my husband. I for some reason cant seem to get in the habit of loading a drawer properly - and then I never close them entirely. Then, in the morning rush- what you see is what happens.

I have my son help clean up- he does a pretty good job- I never shame him- but I do tell him that what doesnt get put away gets put in a bin for two weeks. (thats only when we are on top of things- I'd never make him clean up a huge mess by himself). But I want him to take care of his stuff and learn to put things away- skill I was oobviously NOT taught.

I wasn't made to do anything as a kid. I was the only kid in the house, and I think my parents felt like I wouldnt do it right, so they just did it for me. So- here I am- with 3 kids and trying to teach themto do the right thing.

I have to say- my parents are great- they just kept me in a bubble- they know now that they screwed up! My mom comes over and say "I'm so sorry I never taught you to keep house" I tell her- ok, thanks- now pick up a broom.

[wife&mommy]

LOL I'm an only child too and my mom did the same thing. I wasn't necessarily spoiled but she just did all the cleaning because she wanted it done "right" aka her way. So when I moved out I didn't even know how to load and turn on a dishwasher! I was a mess. Big learning curve those first few months.

[ollineeba]

Originally Posted by philomom

Your house is your home, your haven. For your kids its the base of all their memories. Do you really want them to remember their life looking like this? Do you want the home they create with their partners in life to resemble the state of yours right now? Get busy making that house a home, dear! Good luck.

Not the OP, but this really helped me Thanks

[momofcutie]

Originally Posted by Penelope

But it's also *really* hard to be an untidy child who gets scolded for that instead of praised for her good qualities.

Hmmm. Now you're making me think. I get stressed out by visual clutter, so sometimes I gripe at my son about his messy room. But except for not being able to find a Star Wars figure every once in a while, he doesn't seem to mind his room being a mess. Thanks for posting a different perspective about kids' rooms.

[mommycakes]

I just wanted wish you luck with the cleaning project. You've got some work ahead of you but you can do it and it'll feel great.

I read this forum last night and woke this morning with the cleaning bug. My sweet dh took dd out for quite a few hours and my cleaning out the bedroom closet project turned into cleaning the whole house. I feel like I can think again. I feel tired but relaxed.

Thanks for sharing your pictures and inspiring me to get to work.

[cdmaze]

Originally Posted by philomom

Your house is your home, your haven. For your kids its the base of all their memories. Do you really want them to remember their life looking like this? Do you want the home they create with their partners in life to resemble the state of yours right now? Get busy making that house a home, dear! Good luck.

I totally need to hear this- thanks.

Originally Posted by i'mmykid'$mom

I think the only way around a mess is to have less stuff to make a mess with.

I'm getting there...in this house thats the only way to make it work.

[USAmma]

Good luck! Portions of my home have looked like that at times. I think you need to invest in some trash bags first thing. Get two bags in the room: one for donation, one for the garbage can. Start tossing stuff. Don't think about it too much, just toss. Drive it down to Goodwill before you change your mind.

The kids room-- have them help you as much as they can. Keep the favorites, get rid of the rest. With the toys that you can't decide on, put them in the garage and see if they even notice they are gone. If after a month they have not noticed, donate them. Offer some kind of incentive to the oldest child to be generous and donate the toys. Really, the less toys, the less mess you are going to have. Kids don't need all those toys anyway. Even if they are nice toys.

Kid clothes: Sort as you go. Label some trash bags with the sizes of the clothes to save for kids to grow into. Only put in clothes that are good quality. Toss or donate the rest. Get your current wardrobe for each child down to five play outfits and one nice outfit, two pairs of shoes, and 7 pairs of underwear and socks. It really, really helps to have some control over the laundry if you don't have 1000 outfits to have to store and wash and pick up. I even have my 6yo doing her own laundry now (I pour the soap) and she's happy to do it and takes pride in it. Transfer the to-grow-into clothes to the garage into plastic storage containers that are labeled with each child's name. When they need new clothes you just have to open the bins and dig for some. Cull clothes at the beginning of every season change.

[ericswifey27]

Originally Posted by lckrause

In your master bedroom on the right wall, is that a short door to one of those wall-length storage areas? If so, color me jealous. For some reason I've always wanted one of those, complete with mini-door.

Me too! Like a secret hideaway!

My bedroom pretty much looks like yours. If you figure out how to get it clean, let me know.... I could use some major help.

The clothing on the stairs I have too... and our papasan chair has become one huge laundry basket...

Good luck mama!

[Mallori]

What a fun thread!

It's awesome that you had the guts to post what you did, and I know you are going to feel SO good when it's all done. About the drawers that "throw up" the clothes...set their outfits out the night before. It took me a while to get into the habit, and I still slip, but it is slick when you do it.

I can't wait til after the holiday crazies are done. I'm going to do another purge on my house and re-decorate. Thanks for the inspiration!

[momofcutie]

Thanks for this thread! Last night after reading this, I was motivated to work on the inches thick stack of paper that needed sorting and filing. I stayed up past 1am doing it, but I felt so good! There were papers from March in that stack! :

[hellyaellen]

I've been meaning to post to say that these pics really did work to motivate me.

And i was looking through them again and I noyiced how pretty the top 2 shelves of your hutch are

[bri276]

cdmaze my mom was the opposite of yours, would leave long lists taped to my bedroom doorway so I'd wake up just to see "empty dishwasher, clean bathroom sink, clothes off floor OR THEY'RE GETTING THROWN OUT!!!!!"

every day. it made me internalize chores=punishment. the craziest part is, once I get going, I actually enjoy cleaning!! my house is not quite as bad as yours, but we do have the crap on the stairs sometimes and we have one junk room that's half stuffed with clothing and papers. but I don't think I'd be brave enough like you to post pics!!! good luck!

[hellyaellen]

i just took my own pics. as soon as i can get kurt to help i'm gonna post them.

[Kleine Hexe]

I love purging so I also got excited when I saw the pics. DH hates it when I go on my purge "rage" as he calls it. I will grab just about anything and throw it out.

My mom is always always ALWAYS saying that my house is a mess and how I haven't figured out how to balance (aka ignore) my children and keep house. I was *thrilled* when I went to her house just this past weekend and noticed the hidden dirt and yuck. Her house is not cluttered with toys and such like mine. However, my house is clean. As in I clean the yuck stuff. I noticed that the bottom, sides, and back of her toilet had not been cleaned in awhile. It was yucky. It made me smile. Why? Because my toilets are clean. I clean the whole toilet and around it at least once a week. I can't stand dirty toilets. So while my kids have their toys all over the floor I don't worry about what yuckness they may be touching when they grab the ball that rolled behind the toilet. I can now say that my house is cleaner than my mom's.

Wow. Got that out. Back to the original thread.