I'm talking to my friend right now about this. Her brother did the same thing to their parents... stole $30,000 from them that they were going to use to buy a house.
Her parents did nothing. My friend thinks they felt guilty... the family had a lot of problems, and she feels like her brother was doing it for some kind of revenge, to express his rage about what had happened in the family. Her father was out all the time
men, and her mother was drinking constantly, during their childhood.
She hypothesizes that in your situation, either something really bad has happened that your daughter is expressing rage about, or maybe you have been a pushover and your daughter is overly entitled/narcissistic and feels like she can do whatever she wants to you without consequence.
I have no idea if either of those things are true, but just throwing them out there.
My friend says her parents did nothing, they sort of figured, well it's too late, the money is gone. They saw it as maybe some sort of payback, and tried to continue on from there with their son.
A few years later both parents were dead, and my friend is very glad the family did not burst apart over her brother's behaviour.
He never paid back the money tho, and later after my friend's father had died and her mother was living in poverty, he would loan the mother small amounts of money and expect it back.
I am thinking of whoever said, "You either need to call the cops or let it go." I think that might be true.