Dh wants to put dd on formula - Page 2

[ledzepplon]

mum2be, I have no advice. I just wanted to tell you how much I admire your efforts to do the best for your child! I have to imagine that not all moms would be up to making the same sacrifices you have.

I hope things get easier soon!

[mum2be]

Originally Posted by jbmill2

Also- my son is doing much bettersince our naturopath and pedi both suggested he be on probiotics. It really has made a world of difference. Recent studies (don't have them onhand) have shown probiotics to lessen eczema and later allergies in kids going down the allergic march. you can do this.

She's been on probiotics (neonate) since week 4. I've been on them for years.

I have severe eczema on my hands that I developed during my pregnancy...I wish it could help with that!

[thepeach80]

I've pmed you back already, but as a mom whose son thrived on rx formula I had to chime in. Not every child can be 'fixed' through mom's diet and not every baby seems to get the memo that breast is best. I also wanted to point out that rx formulas are dairy/soy free, they are corn based and one adult formula is rice based. Not the ideal option, but when your child can't tolerate anything else, what can you do. There are VERY few children who can't tolerate these formulas, and I dare say most of them couldn't tolerate bm either. Evan just got off his formula at 2 and is on a somewhat normal diet now, he can stay off it as long as he maintains and gains some weight. It's just sad to see some of you keep repeating that 'formula won't help, it's not the answer', but you know what, for some kids it is the answer and it does help!

[Satori]

Mum2be,

I've had 2 kids like your little one and I stuck it out with my 6 yr old and my body was seriously damaged but I didn't have any choice because she was even worse off when on Neocate. My 6 mo old was going down the same path but this time we got a reprieve and found the cause of her massive allergies and its something most Dr's would never think about. I highly encourage you to read our story over at POFAK http://kidswithfoodallergies.org/eve...3/m/5240015254 there's several updates throughout the thread.

I would get an EGD done though to rule out EE causes though.

[vxclayborn]

Hope to help

hi, I'm so sorry you are struggling, It can be so hard, I really feel for you, I've been in the trenches too. I had very similar struggles with my daughter who is now 13 mo. We weren't able to get appt with a pediatric GI doc until she was 5 months. I had to demand it. She had an Upper GI and it revealed she had a some major malformations that contributed that made some (now mild) insensitivies terrible. I don't know how you feel about some on the invasivness of reg docs but I was on my last thread, something had to change. ( I knew deep down formula probably wouldn't help but I was sick of all the "work" on my part)

After it was all over, the doc assured me her case would have been much worse if I hadn't stuck to the breastfeeding. I sorry I can't give nutrition advice, but these ladies sound like they know what they are talking about.

I'm thinking and praying for ya'll

[Kirsten]

I think that you are doing all you can. It is very, very hard. I can hear your frustration, and imagine that your dh is worried about you physically and emotionally.

I took my diet down to practically air when dd2 had raging 20 hour a day colic for four months. It didn't help. I know how frustrating it can be for them to be hurting and you can't stop it.

You mentioned that she wouldn't take EBM so you nursed her. Babies often won't take a bottle - even of breastmilk - if mom is in the house. Has your dh tried when you are out visiting a neighbor?

If I was you - and so emotionally drained and physically tired - I think I'd try the formula, while still maintaining the nursing. Maybe you could pump and dump after you eat a normal meal once in a while? I really do believe in breastfeeding - as I know you do as you are going through so much to make it work - but your mental health and happiness is important too. Don't feel bad if situations out of your control - her allergies and unknown digestive issues - make formula an option you try.

I think it is a fine line between being suportive of a sometimes (oftentimes...) difficult nursing relationship that some women have - and giving the ok to try another road. I hope you find a choice (and it isn't all or nothing either!) that works for you, your dh, and your baby. She is darling, by the way!

[Jessie'sMom]

Originally Posted by ledzepplon

mum2be, I have no advice. I just wanted to tell you how much I admire your efforts to do the best for your child! I have to imagine that not all moms would be up to making the same sacrifices you have.

I hope things get easier soon!

:

[mf_colon]

I've pmed you back already, but as a mom whose son thrived on rx formula I had to chime in. Not every child can be 'fixed' through mom's diet and not every baby seems to get the memo that breast is best. I also wanted to point out that rx formulas are dairy/soy free, they are corn based and one adult formula is rice based. Not the ideal option, but when your child can't tolerate anything else, what can you do. There are VERY few children who can't tolerate these formulas, and I dare say most of them couldn't tolerate bm either. Evan just got off his formula at 2 and is on a somewhat normal diet now, he can stay off it as long as he maintains and gains some weight. It's just sad to see some of you keep repeating that 'formula won't help, it's not the answer', but you know what, for some kids it is the answer and it does help!

Have to agree. Dont feel pushed into continuing to BF out of guilt or the "breast is best" mindset. Sometimes it does not work no matter how hard you try. In your case, it is seriously jepordizing your health. Keep doing research and if worse comes to worse I say try the formula. As pointed above, there are some formulas that are dairy/soy free. Or try 1/2 BM and formula for a bit.

Hopefully she will outgrow this but if she does not I dont think your body can take more months of practical starvation. After awhile that will affect your relationship with your DD and as she gets older she will need mama to have lots of energy to keep up with her!

[Momtwice]

Originally Posted by thepeach80

Not every child can be 'fixed' through mom's diet and not every baby seems to get the memo that breast is best. I also wanted to point out that rx formulas are dairy/soy free, they are corn based and one adult formula is rice based. Not the ideal option, but when your child can't tolerate anything else, what can you do. There are VERY few children who can't tolerate these formulas, and I dare say most of them couldn't tolerate bm either. !

This may be true, but the problem is that if you have one of those babies who continues to get sicker on specialty formulas, then the breast milk supply may be gone or reduced and it can make the situation worse. Yes, you may be right and yours is an important point. But there are people who are also allergic to corn and rice. I'm allergic to corn myself.

It's not easy, that's something those of us who've dealt with our allergies or our kids' can agree on.

[mum2be]

Originally Posted by Momtwice

This may be true, but the problem is that if you have one of those babies who continues to get sicker on specialty formulas, then the breast milk supply may be gone or reduced and it can make the situation worse. Yes, you may be right and yours is an important point. But there are people who are also allergic to corn and rice. I'm allergic to corn myself.

It's not easy, that's something those of us who've dealt with our allergies or our kids' can agree on.

I am worried about my milk supply if she tries formula. I can't get much out with the pump, so I'm worried that my supply will diminish quickly. This is one of my biggest fears. I've also noticed a drastic reduction since my food as been so limited.

It's just so hard to decide what to do when you breast milk feels like poison

[gr160]

Originally Posted by thepeach80

I've pmed you back already, but as a mom whose son thrived on rx formula I had to chime in. Not every child can be 'fixed' through mom's diet and not every baby seems to get the memo that breast is best. I also wanted to point out that rx formulas are dairy/soy free, they are corn based and one adult formula is rice based. Not the ideal option, but when your child can't tolerate anything else, what can you do. There are VERY few children who can't tolerate these formulas, and I dare say most of them couldn't tolerate bm either. Evan just got off his formula at 2 and is on a somewhat normal diet now, he can stay off it as long as he maintains and gains some weight. It's just sad to see some of you keep repeating that 'formula won't help, it's not the answer', but you know what, for some kids it is the answer and it does help!

How much do these rx formulas cost? If they're too expensive and insurance won't pay, it still might not be an option. I don't think anybody said not to ask about her options, just that if her dd is too sensitive she may need to continue bf. I thought she was here for support, not just advice to take formula. I don't think anybody here would condemn her for going to formula (if it works and if it's an option) after everything she's been through.

[Doodadsmom]

I don't know if this will help or not - I hesitate to post since I don't have any personal experience, at least not of the magnitude that you're dealing with! But I remembered this mother's story - http://www.borntolove.com/joshua1.html - her son's food allergies seemed to be aggravated by environmental allergies - and thought it might be useful...sorry for all your difficulties! I hope everything works out with your little one!

[Tracy]

I have you taken DD to a homoepath?

And perhaps an osteopath for cranial sacreal treatment?


FWIW--- I too had eczema after I had DS.... a homeopath totally cleared it up with one remedy once. My son had reflux as an infant (for six months) and he has benefited by cranial sacreal work-- I was a vegetarian for nearly 20 years before I got pregnant. Then about 2 years before I had DS I felt the need to fold in chicken and then beef... I will be honest, I now looking back on it wish I had known to fold in more aminio acids before i got pregnant... just a vibe I have (also wish I never had been on the pill but that is another thread)...

anyway, I feel like if you could get dd to a homeopath and osteopath it could help DD and you'll be able to possibly continue nursing.

Her sensitivities and her resistantance to slinging etc... make me think both will help.

hang in there.

hugs
tracy

[shayinme]

Originally Posted by mum2be

(Just so you know, we are seeing an osteopath, a naturopath, a kinesiologist, an NAET specialist, and a special GI doctor to try to figure this whole thing out...nothing seems to be working.)

She's already seeing an osteopath.

To the OP, I think you need to follow your heart as far as what to do. Yesm breast is best but if the toll is extracts from you is so high that it affects your health then you need to do what is nrceassry to be a good Mother and that means meeting your needs. If there is a formula that your dd will tolerate, then I would consider that option. : On the other hand if BM is the only option then you may have to muster through. I hope you are able to find a balance that works for you and your baby.

Shay

[chicagodawn]

I am glad that a few moms posted about Neocate here, as my hunch is that many posters aren't familiar with Neocate, EO28 or Elecare - lucky people! What I would have given to not know about Rx formulas!

As the parent of a child with severe food allergies (now at age 2.5 he has outgrown so many of them), i know what you are going through, and yes, in general, bf is always best. But there is a point where you need to figure out what is best for the whole family too, especially since something is still bothering her.

I'm wondering if you could try Neocate for a couple times, without risking your supply too much? It has to be a very fine line, and Neocate is expensive. It is entirely dairy and soy free, but DOES contain corn, some of the other others are corn free. There are other options also made by SHS North America too, but yeah, they are insanely expensive.

I guess I"m not sure what my point is, except to offer hugs and support. I am pregnant again, and my diet is free of everything my son was allergic to, plus all the "big eight". I guess I'm hoping that is enough for this little girl to be able to nurse.

In the case of my son, we couldn't identify all of his allergies, he was getting sicker and sicker and losing so much weight, we couldn't even get him to gain any weight, he pooped and vomitted blood. I so desperately wanted to bf (I still mourn it) but in the end I made the choice to switch to Neocate (I kept pumping but each time we "tested" my milk he failed)

Neocate changed my son's life, he is happy, healthy and has outgrown a huge chunk of his allergies, with the rest of them having decreased a ton.

Not pushing you to give up nursing, if you can find foods that work for you and your daughter then it is by far the best for her. But I did want to note that some kids thrive on Neocate, Elecare, EO28 and other similar formulas. Our son was so close to hospitalization at the time we added Neocate.

Hugs and good luck to you

Dawn

Ben 6-15-04
baby girl edd Feb 07

[Shirelle]

I also wouldn't assume that it's always food related. She may just be high-needs. Honestly, I would scrap the restrictive diet before I would give her formula. You also said you tried to give her a bottle and she wouldnt take it--that's probably not going to change at this point. I was pretty sure that my second baby was really sensitive to the foods that I was eating. I tried not to eat things that I KNEW would bother him, like a straight glass of milk or ice cream, but I just had to decide that I needed to take care of ME too, and that was going to mean me eating foods that I liked to eat. We did have some days of screaming, but he eventually got over it, and now he's 17 months and he just ate a big bowl of spicy beans and rice I would start introducing food back into your diet, and watch for a real reaction--blood in the stool or rashes. Keep in mind that you are going to be more sensitive to her reactions--you may already assume that what you eat is upsetting her tummy, so when she starts to get upset, you automatically assume it's the food you ate.

[thepeach80]

MDC supports listening to your baby's needs right? How does that fit into her eating what SHE wants when she knows it will bother her baby to the point of screaming non-stop. If your baby is sensitive like the OP's it's not just a few days of screaming here and there, offending foods can take WEEKS to get our of your system.

gr160, a case of the formula Evan just got off is about $240 (that's 6 cans, at his highest he was using about 14 cans a month). Thankfully insurance covered ours. I did not once say that formula was the answer, but several people have told her in this thread that formula absolutely was not the answer. I was simply trying to share my POV from a mom who did have to make that decision for her child and he did wonderful.

[june'smom]

Wow, I am in awe of you and your efforts to keep bf. You are truly a wonderful mama.

Having said that: If you can't even choke down the foods that she can tolerate, you need to consider another option. It is not worth it to give up on the diet and have her scream for days and have oozing sores. And you cannot sustain yourself on nothing. 1000 calories is less than half of what you should be getting.

I think your husband is right, if it were me, I would try the formula. I would also try to keep bf as long as you can. I understand that it is a super important part of your relationship. But think about the damage you are doing to your system.

And to those who say the baby won't take a bottle, people wean their kids all the time. Of course, they love the breast! But they won't starve either. It is false to say that her baby just won't take a bottle so she has to continue to live like this for the next 2 years of her life. There are reasons that formula is out there. We cannot judge someone else's bf journey, especially when she has been working this hard to keep it up.

Take care, I hope you find an answer.
Louise

[~Megan~]

I agree that you might want to expand your diet to include other foods that you might not have thought of yet. You might get a lot more variety that way.

I'm sure you know but breastfeeding her is going to help with her allergies and she might even grow out of some of them with age.

If you cannot eat dairy or soy I'd be surprised if she could even tolerate formula.

You might try seeing a naturopath for your and her issues. I know of one mama who started taking some enzymes to help with her digestion and her dc was able to tolerate a lot more foods that way.

[Mothra]

If you do decide to try formula and you're worried about your supply try to get your hands on a hospital grade pump. I was never able to get much with anything other than the big guns after a few months of nursing. A lactation consultant could help you get used to it.

I think that something about your situation has to change. I breastfed through food sensitivities and it was brutal, but nothing like what you're going through. I've seen one child with sensitivities as severe as what you're describing and the mother did end up going to formula. She just couldn't maintain her weight on the diet she had to keep. My guess is that if you are not malnourished now, you will be soon. I'm losing my teeth because of malnourishment during pregnancy (severe hyperemesis). It would be great if you can find a way to keep breastfeeding her, but your health has to be a factor in this, too.