Feeling resentful

[Juliacat]

Dd (age 13 months) is okay playing as long as I'm not doing anything. But the minute I start to read a book or (cod forbid) type, she throws a fit. I either need to get her to let me do something other than sit motionless all day, or I need to get myself to not mind sitting motionless all day. I find myself feeling resentful that I'm no longer "allowed" to do anything that interests me, even though I know dd is too young to be that diabolical. But I'm more and more tense lately. Any suggestions?

[joybird]

Hi Julia,
My dd was (and is) the same tho she's now 23 months. Things have gotten a bit better but it is still pretty much like that. It's good and healthy that she gets bored and needs your attention. Imagine if she just didn't care? Then you'd be thinking that something was wrong. I know it is really hard. I think that of all the adjustments to being a mama, this is maybe the biggest - the total demand of ALL your time to another person. I found that getting her out and about and busy - a walk or playtime at the park or whatever - allowed for a small amount of time after where she would decompress and I could have a few minutes to myself. Also it's important to have some time totally to yourself. I know that at that age it's hard but now my partner will take her out for a few hours on the weekend and it's like I'm a new person after that. But that really didn't happen til recently. I also found that if I gave her 100% of my attention when she was asking for it that she would then be willing to play by herself for awhile. I'm not talking hours or anything but, you know, ten or fifteen minutes, which is better than nothing. Part of me says it will get easier and the other part says, better get used to it! Good luck!

[steph66]

my dd is 8 months old and she does this a lot with me. i too find that if I give her 100% of my attention and genuinely play with her for a while that she is more willing to play without me for at least a few minutes (oh and they are Heaven! :LOL)

[MaWhit]

I found that having more kids solved that problem nicely.

Until then, a backpack carrie can be a lifesaver.

[Mia Sara]

:

I think so too :-) My little ones keep each other entertained for hours. Sometimes I am actually able to *gasp* read or even eat.

Who would have thought?

Actually if my son (12 mos) gets clingy, I just put him in the sling and carry on with my business. I find he just needs a couple of minutes of closeness with me and then he is content to play on his own.

Maybe get some special toys that she can play with ONLY when you need a break.

Mia