I was going to shut up about this since I figure everyone here must be as sick of my drama as I am, but now I just can't resist being "different".
My chart is so horrid that FF took away my crosshairs awhile back and now it looks anovulatory. Yesterday would have been 10dpo according to the crosshairs they took away and I was looking at the drawer in my desk where I kept my stash of Dollar Tree HPTs and wondering what I was going to do with them when
came and I realized that I just didn't want to go through the madness and expense of finding yet another donor and tried to come to grips with the fact that it was just too late and I shouldn't have wasted so many years waiting for Mr. Right and that I was just going to have to live with the fact that I threw away any chances I ever had of having another kid.
In the middle of that kind of gloom, I didn't think a bfn could possibly make me feel any worse.
I've seen a ton of bfns in the last few months. My previous cycle had a picture perfect chart and I didn't know the progesterone creme was what was causing the nasty first trimester symptoms, but every time I peed on a stick I knew it was a bfn and I never had to squint or hold it up to the light or ask anyone how many lines they saw.
This time I did.
ds says he saw two lines, dd says she saw one.
I went to the pee stick gallery on Fertility Friend and searched for faint lines on Dollar Tree tests at 11 dpo or less and mine looks every bit as ambiguous and squintable as theirs.
So I guess I'll Pee On Christmas after all and I hope all of you with the beautiful charts and the early bfns will join me because it would be so great if one of us, just one of us and I don't even have enough hope left to hope that it's me, should just happen to get tghe ultimate gift this hoiliday season.
Okay, I'm done.
I'm finally going to shut up now.
This is me shutting up....