Kids with oral aversions & feeding problems Support

[PumpkinSeeds]

My son is 5 and while we have made lots of progress over the years, it still is not easy.

He had severe oral aversions and would gag or vomit almost at every meal. I was spoon feeding him until about several months ago when he started to slowly self feed. He was eating completely pureed food until he was 4 ish (although he also can tolerate dry, crunchy things).

He does really good for a while eating, and then like now, he gets in a slump where he barely eats anything for days on end.

I wish I had been more articulate about the problem when he was a young toddler. Everyone told me that a hungry baby will eat. Yes, true, except for mine. Mine is happy to starve. When we finally got him evaluated it took so long for anything to happen, that nothing did happen. (there are other factors here, long story).

I feel so blessed that his younger brother eats like a horse. He eats anything and everything and says, "yummy". It's like a miracle to me.

I am not ashamed to say that I am one of those mothers who would pay money if my kid would eat a piece of pizza or a hot dog or a hamburger or a cookie or ice cream. He's never eaten any of those things and while I'm not a big fan of the standard american diet, once in a while a slice of homemade pizza would be nice or similarly with the others.

Anyone else struggle with similar?

[Strong Mama]

This is my 2 yos list:
spagetti(noodles cut short, sauce only(tho I can blend any veggie in with it and he doesnt care)
pizza(any kind, even with veggies)must be cut into small mouth size pieces
banana(will only ever eat half, has just started holding it on his own
yogurt(again, only half, must be trix kind or yo baby organic
ice cream. any kind in a cone or bowl, not fussy about ice cream lol
chicken of any kind as long as it is plain
french fries any shape or kind
ketchup
any kind of junk food cookies, m and ms, chocolate

oh and he will drink oj, apple j, water, and strawberry milk once a day(about 4 oz, only at night)\
raisins, occasionally

thats it. he ate so many more things, but has recently cut out a lot of food like sandwiches, french toast and pancakes.

It is so tiring fixing the same ol food and eating at mcdonals when we are out(because there is no other food available that he will eat)
when he gets hungry he begs me for cookies and stuff but when i offer him a healthy option, refuses and would go hungry if i didnt short order cook his food.
this is beyond faddiness. beyond controlling me. he will cry and scream of FEAR for the new foods.

[Liba613]

Mine is awefuly young to add to this list, but I am doing it anyway.

He feigns sleep when ever we try to feed him. He has oral aversions from being intubated and would rather not eat. The doctors kept on saying that babies eat when they are hungry enough, but mine won't.

The SLP today said maybe he would if we waited long enough, but that may take a couple weeks, she doesn't think it is sound advice.

We have tried all sorts of bottle out there, ever LC in the area and three feeding clinics now. We have made some progress, but it is still a great day if we can get more than 10oz into him and my 5.5 month old is still in 0-3 month clothing.

The last feeding clinic didn't like the Haberman Feeder and had us stop using it... He lost 3oz in the last two weeks. I wonder what they are going to say Thursday about that.

We are now stripping my baby naked every feeding, vibrating his mouth cheeks, and left arm before we attempt to feed him and torturing him to try to keep him awake long enough to eat.

He is the happiest baby I have met, as long as we don't try to feed him.

5.5 month of pumping and force feeding my little little boy. I hope there is some hope in sight.

[PumpkinSeeds]

Liba, knowing what I know now, I would have pressed harder to get my son OT when he was younger. His doctor at the time also said that a hungry baby will eventually eat but I failed to impress upon him that this was not a normal case. Well he was my first and I just thought it would get better and it didn't.

Transitions, my 5yo's list of things he will eat is very small too. It's very frustrating.

[Liba613]

Originally Posted by PumpkinSeeds

Liba, knowing what I know now, I would have pressed harder to get my son OT when he was younger. His doctor at the time also said that a hungry baby will eventually eat but I failed to impress upon him that this was not a normal case. Well he was my first and I just thought it would get better and it didn't.

Transitions, my 5yo's list of things he will eat is very small too. It's very frustrating.

It was so nice to finally get validation today that my son isn't among the babies who will eat when they are hungry. I mean, I knew it, but to hear it from a professional was very validating.

We are working with a PT and a couple SLPs, not OTs at this point. They are into the sensory aspect of his eating issues though so hopefully we are on the right track.

My son LOVEs his z-vibe. He puts it in his mouth and cries when he drops it or we take it away. We tried to use it to wake up his mouth for eating, but he much prefers it to food. It is helping with spoon feeding him his milk though. We use the spoon attatchment and feed him his thickened milk on the vibrating spoon.

[annettemarie]

Hey, ladies! I am going to bump this over to Special Needs.

Though Finding Your Tribe was originally opened to help parents find each other based on their location we have welcomed tribe threads for parents of a like-minded path to meet and chit chat with one another. However, such threads should not take a focus of discussion for a topic that is hosted in an existing forum at MDC.

A natural course of chit chat discussion might carry you into discussing your daily lives and sharing events and struggles. But focused discussion of a parenting topic, a breastfeeding issue or problem, an activist or political issue, a religious concern or belief, just to name a few, should go to the appropriate forum for discussion with the larger MDC community. If you have any question in this regard feel free to check with the moderators before posting. Should you post or thread not be appropriate for FYT on this basis it may be moved to the appropriate forum.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=168763

[kchoffmann]

Originally Posted by Transitions

This is my 2 yos list:
spagetti(noodles cut short, sauce only(tho I can blend any veggie in with it and he doesnt care)
pizza(any kind, even with veggies)must be cut into small mouth size pieces
banana(will only ever eat half, has just started holding it on his own
yogurt(again, only half, must be trix kind or yo baby organic
ice cream. any kind in a cone or bowl, not fussy about ice cream lol
chicken of any kind as long as it is plain
french fries any shape or kind
ketchup
any kind of junk food cookies, m and ms, chocolate

oh and he will drink oj, apple j, water, and strawberry milk once a day(about 4 oz, only at night)\
raisins, occasionally.

Oh my god, I wish DS would eat this much! Here's my son's list:

Smart Puffs
Milk (combo of cow's milk and rice milk) with nutritional supplement

That's IT. Nothing else. Used to include one specific type of Newman's Own cookie, but that's been phased out apparently. Before we moved he also would eat bananas, sometimes pizza, and plain bread with nothing on it. He won't even drink water. We have to sneak icecubes in his milk to get water into him. For us it isn't a sensory thing, which is quite frustrating because OTs haven't had any luck helping us as a result. It is definitely about controlling what goes into his mouth, and knowing what that experience will be. This is also frustrating because if we could figure out how to get something else into his mouth just a few times and have those times be a pleasurable experience, he would start eating them regularly. I too would pay money to see him eat an array of junk food. So much for our dreams of feeding our children a healthy mix of organic foods with lots of fruits and veggies, huh?

Oh, and DS2 is shaping up to be a normal eater, thank god.

[Treasuremapper]

This looks like the place for me. I'm actually terrified that my daughter is anemic, because now she won't take her iron, either. She will only take yummi bears vitamins, and they don't have iron.

At this point, she is doing a lot better than she was a month ago. However, she is still only eating goldfish, peanut butter, crackers, and ice cream. Sometimes pretzels.

I just realized that she also will eat muffins and homemade chocolate chip cookies and chocolate frosting, too.

[Thystle]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}]

My five year old only eats about 5% of the foods he used to eat 3 years ago. He drops a food every month (sometimes more).


He is receiving OT from Children's for SID, and will be getting therapy for his severe anxiety and be going to the feeding clinic soon.



There are days when he will only eat noodles. So I feel all your pain! It's a hard job trying to "sneak" things in wherever I can. And my 13 year old has a few eating issues involving gagging too. And my hubby has SI issues. I never get to make one meal... if I did half this family would starve.

There are days when all I do all day is feed people. It's hard not to burn out.

[mamarhu]

YoungSon is 10, and until 6 months ago or so, ate mainly popcorn and water. Occassionally meat (like steak with no sauce), crackers, chips. Then he had a choking experience, and literally put himself on a clear liquid diet: broth, clear fruit juice, water. A couple months ago, he added those gross colored "kid's" yogurts, and chocolate bars. Last week he added fish crackers and chips. Only the mamas here could understand what huge progress this is!

The amazing thing is that he is somehow alive and healthy.

[Treasuremapper]

Yes, Thystle, I guess I'm just used to that part now. But I often make three dinners. One for my younger daughter and myself, since we will eat anything. One dinner for my husband, who has a very limited range of foods he will eat, and one for my older daughter who has eating aversions. I do at least two loads of dishes a day, often three.

When going out, I pack two lunches: the healthy organic lunch for my younger daughter, and the goldfish, JIF peanut butter, and animal crackers for my older daughter.

Her pedi ruled out any physical problems, but I am still worried because we didn't do a blood test or take her to an ENT. Have any of you done that?

[PumpkinSeeds]

When we took my son to be evaluated by the ot and psychologist (can I mention that we never got the help we needed even though they determined him to need help?) and they did take a blood test that showed he was anemic.

They gave us a liquid iron supplement and it tasted sweet.

I'm also making several dinners etc. It is very hard not to burn out trying to think of something he will eat.

He hasn't been able to eat well this last week and I think it's because he is sick. Yesterday he was begging that he was hungry and when we couldn't find something that he would eat (Everything, even his usual favorites made him gag) he lay down on the carpet and sobbed. OMG...

[Strong Mama]

.

And my hubby has SI issues. I never get to make one meal... if I did half this family would starve.

This is my family too!! Older son will eat a bit more than said hubby and ds2, but hubby will only eat meat and potatoes(no fruit or veg at all), so its meat and potatoes everynight, combined with spag or pizza and some fries, and then all my veggies!LOL I am NOT NOT NOT picky at all!

[kchoffmann]

Originally Posted by Transitions

.

This is my family too!!

Me too! I often say my DH eats like a three year old and my three year old doesn't eat. You guys sound so patient with your DHs. I find myself frustrated with him about it. DS is just a child, but DH is a grown man. If it's really a SI I wish he would make some effort to deal with it, both for his health and for what he models for DS.

[Treasuremapper]

Kerry, trust me, I am not patient about it with him. I've just given up.

[kchoffmann]

Originally Posted by inezyv

Kerry, trust me, I am not patient about it with him. I've just given up.

Yup.

[Thystle]

Originally Posted by kchoffmann

Me too! I often say my DH eats like a three year old and my three year old doesn't eat. You guys sound so patient with your DHs. I find myself frustrated with him about it. DS is just a child, but DH is a grown man. If it's really a SI I wish he would make some effort to deal with it, both for his health and for what he models for DS.

I used to get very frustrated with him. He used to just blame it on his mothers VERY horrible cooking as a child.

We finally figured out what was happening when we were researching what was wrong with our then 3 year old. And the realization that my husband had ALL the same issues... he can only wear a certain type of clothing, HAS to always be wearing shoes, hates most smells, won't eat many foods, etc... We then learned later on that another doc thinks he might have some FAS going (he was adopted).


So now that I know what is going on I am more sympathetic to it. And I have through patience been able to get my husband to try more foods.

But some days I do still get frustrated... the days I feel like I have 4 toddlers to take care of!




What is helping is that now I am trying to "train" my hubby to NOT make faces or say bad things about food in front of my five year old... unless the food is like rotten. I say train as he will have to be reminded many times before it becomes a habit. I want to minimize any possible "I am copying daddy" issues that might occur.






As for testing. A long time ago when ds5 was about 2-ish I had both older kids tested for food allergies, celiac, lead poisoning, etc... It all came back negative. I simply "made" the ped do it. I wanted to make sure we were not missing anything. I would like to have them do some now, but he would have to be sedated this time as he can not handle it.


And then we had his OT eval done at Children's Hospital. I highly reccomend having testing done there and NOT through a public school!!!!!! They seem to get the ball rolling better and do a MUCH better job!

[Thystle]

The reason I have stopped in my head with the "grow up already, you are an adult" towards my husband is the realization that NO ONE ever helped him as a child. He is also dyslexic and had to find that out in college for himself. His parent's simply spanked him or punished him for being "bad". He never got help and never learned coping skills for any of this. It's amazing he functions as well as he does!


I also have been making him come to ds5's OT with us... so he can see. I think it is doing something in his brain, to see his son struggle... he is "opening" up a bit more.



Try to step back and realize that if an adult has SI issues (ESPECIALLY if they were NEVER addressed as a child)... they have had a lifetime of coping skills they made up for themselves to keep themselves "safe". It's hard to undo those. Unless you also suffer from something similar you can NEVER know HOW hard it is for them. Yelling at them won't help. It will only put them back into themselves where it is "safe".

How would you feel to see strangers yell at your child? To watch relatives yell at your child over things he can't control?
Try to think of how many times others yelled at your spouse... they are wounded inside too.


Now most days I am just happy to get people to eat something even remotely healthy. I am thankful they can eat at all. I am thankful I don't have to tube feed anyone.


If they were to die tomorrow would I really care if I had to fix something different for them today?




(yes I have been thinking alot on this lately)




.

[Thystle]

Originally Posted by PumpkinSeeds

He hasn't been able to eat well this last week and I think it's because he is sick. Yesterday he was begging that he was hungry and when we couldn't find something that he would eat (Everything, even his usual favorites made him gag) he lay down on the carpet and sobbed. OMG...

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}


Could he eat a popsicle at all?


If he truly can't eat, you may want to take him in.


{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

[kchoffmann]

Originally Posted by Thystle

Try to step back and realize that if an adult has SI issues (ESPECIALLY if they were NEVER addressed as a child)... they have had a lifetime of coping skills they made up for themselves to keep themselves "safe". It's hard to undo those. Unless you also suffer from something similar you can NEVER know HOW hard it is for them. Yelling at them won't help. It will only put them back into themselves where it is "safe".

How would you feel to see strangers yell at your child? To watch relatives yell at your child over things he can't control?
Try to think of how many times others yelled at your spouse... they are wounded inside too..

I know all this - I'm just expressing my frustration about it. It's hard to see him not make a real effort to take care of himself, especially in front of our kids. I do know what it's like to have deeply ingrained issues left over from childhood - but I've also taken steps to help myself with them. Wanting him to take those steps too doesn't make me any less compassionate about what he's gone through and goes through when it comes to food.

FWIW, I don't yell at him. I don't yell at anyone.