Originally Posted by thismama
I'm not saying it doesn't happen, and that your children aren't as decent as the next kid, but it's just so outside the realm of my own imagination. I can't even conceive of it really.
I gotta tell you, I didn't believe it could *really* work, either...I've been a big "Get off your butt" parent, which worked well when he was younger...but started backfiring as he got to be about 2-1/2, so I had to switch tracks. Over the past year I've found the less I try to compel
DS to act the way I'd like him to act and the more I just set up, explain, and facilitate the consistent expectations, and model them, the more likely he is to do what I ask. Sometimes I do still wind up "making" him do things, but for the most part he's remarkably cooperative, generous, and gentle for an almost 3 yo. I've let go of a lot of things, and it's actually gotten a lot more cooperative around here.
Case in point: I forgot to close the gate to our attic stairs at lunchtime (the stairs are fairly steep and narrow, and the room below not DS-proofed, so we keep the gate closed). DS was eating and noticed it, and went over, looked at me and smiled, and said, "I going downstairs!". A year ago, I would have jumped up and gone over to get him off the steps saying, "Not by yourself, buddy". Today, I said, "I'm not comfortable with you going downstairs by yourself. I'm not going to come get you, though. Please come back up." and went back to working. He stood for a minute on the first step down, then came back up, closed the gate, and sat back down and ate. I thanked him for coming back up and closing the gate.