Quote:
|
Originally Posted by wendy1221
 Do you think your mom has some sort of issues like this? Just trying to tell the other side's perspective.
|
She can be alternatingly "wonderful" and "giving" and equally "cold" and "uncaring". which has thrown me off so much over the years? Then when I thought more about her behaviour - I'd realize that her "wonderful" and "giving" times were when they were what "she wanted" or on her terms. For example, I've learned over the years not to "invite" her to come and visit - but rather, let her tell me when she wants to come (and she does comes fairly often for living so far away). If I "invite" her - she shows up kind of "begrudgingly" and we have a bad visit. When she calls me and says "Dad and I are coming the 27th thru the 31st" - well, then that will be a good visit.
The last time I asked her to come out - is when the triplets were born. I told her that I would need help with our older DS until I could hire help. She did not want to come - I could tell - but she did come. The triplets were born 2 weeks before Xmas. She spent the whole time at my house trying to "recreate" the Xmas she would have had at her house. 1 week after I was home from the hospital (12/23) - I got very ill and was taken to an ER by ambulance. After days of misdiagnosis - it was finally determined that I had a rare pp auto-immune disease called HELLP Syndrome. I was in the hospital over the holidays - for like a week? My DH was home (with my parents) - and trying to care for the newborn triplets by himself and my older DS. My mother did not help him. Nor did either of my parents come to visit me in the hospital - I sat there in tears day after day by myself. Meanwhile - my mother spent the time baking and cooking and dressing up and forcing people to go to church . . . like it was just a normal Xmas day any other year?
I don't know what you call a person like this? But clearly .. . she has some kind of personality disorder. She seems intermittently unable to show any empathy or concern for others.
BTW - if you met her, she would dazzle you with her outgoing personality - and you'd have a hard time believing any of this . . .
Anyone have a mother like this? Anyone know if this type of behavior has a clinical name/diagnosis?
Sorry your mom is that way. 
