Wow MamaLeah you are a wise woman! I would love to have you close by to talk with on a daily basis! I too found it comforting to be able to pour out my feelings and just have someone listen! I thought it would be just as easy with twins as it was with each of my 4 singletons. Man was I wrong! I was so sleep deprived, lonely, over-whelmed, happy and sad at the same time. Most days I really did not enjoy it and hated any comments I received because they were usually the stupid ones but I really did appreciate when I received some of the ones you listed above.
One thing I can offer is that I loved when people cooked for us. It made my day knowing dinner was ready to just heat up. Ask first to make sure she is ok with it and try to pull together enough people to provide dinner for the first month or two. I had lots that were deliverd at once and we froze and thawed out when needed and then we had some delivered nightly. I just can not stress enough how helpful that was!
Another huge help would be to ask if she would like for you to host a diaper, wipe, baby soap shower? I receive two and I just finished up with all the diapers and wipes and still have baby soap and my twins will be 2 in August. It would be great for cloth or disposable! This helped us out both financially and also with the fact that I just was not as mobile as before. She will especially be in this situation with two sets so close together!
I think another great thing to say is to just complement her on her appearance or if you can afford it buy her an inexpensive new maternity top. Even better would be to get her a massage!
How about hosting a fun hour together and paint each others nails, massage shoulders and backs, brush each others hair and pretend you are two close teenage friends without a care in the world for one hour!
Hope this helps!