Spinoff: One Santa gift

[snuggly mama]

I didn't want to hijack that thread with my own question, so here goes:

Does anyone else feel that no matter how much stuff they get for their kids, they always wish it could be more? When I was little, Christmas was a big ol' gift-fest -- lots of toys and presents under the tree, always the big item I wanted (Barbie Dream House, Cabbage Patch Kid, Nintendo set for brother, etc). I have very fond memories of Christmas, and while many of the memories have nothing to do with gifts, I admit that there is a certain amount of "gift-lust" in there, too. Oh, and my parents were never well-off financially by any means, so I'm not exactly sure how they afforded the bigger items.

Fast-forward to today, when I took my kids' (11, 9 and 5) presents out of hiding to do a last count (we always make sure they have the same # of gifts) and the pile just looks sort of . . . unimpressive. It's not bad stuff, and some of it is even on the pricier end, but it just doesn't seem like enough for the wow factor, kwim? I think the girls will be ok, since both are getting the thing they really want (MP3 player for dd1 and doll for dd2).

Ds really wants a Nintendo DS, but I can't afford it, nor do I agree with him having one since he already has a GameBoy Advance and a GameBoy SP as well as the family GameCube system -- and I don't want to encourage more video game playing! I know he will be disappointed, though, and there's some part of me that wants to just say heck with the cost and get it cause it will make him happy.

Am I just : or do other people go through this every Christmas too?

[newmommy]

Yes, I know exactly what you mean. DS is our only child and this year he is old enough to get excited about christmas and both DH and I almost went overboard.

My original shopping list was ridiculus and it would have taken DS over an hour to unwrap his gifts...we had so many gifts planned for him.

It just comes from us being poor kids and we suffer from the "wanting the best for our child" syndrome.

We came to our senses though and DS is getting half of what was on my original list.

[Patchfire]

Oh, yes.

This year is the first one since dd was one that we've had some extra money to spend. I always thought I was doing so well at not going overboard... turns out it was just lack of money keeping from it! Now that we have more leeway, I keep adding things. I think I'm done now, but I won't say I'm really done until I go to sleep on Christmas Eve - I mean, Walgreens is open 24 hours!

[onlyzombiecat]

We've always had fairly limited Christmas gifting. This year our budget was even smaller and most of the gifts are smaller items. Not much wow factor. I think she'll love the things we got her though and that is more important than quantity. I also feel good about staying within our budget.
My parents always went overboard with gifts when I was little and I always felt guilty because I knew they didn't have the money and were going to stress. Dd can enjoy her gifts guilt free at least.

[hipumpkins]

you know your memory may be getting filtered through rose colored glasses...I mean look at what you posted that isn't a TON of stuff but the memories make it feel ike it was. your kids will remember it the same way. Maybe that's christmas magic

BTW...I do not wish for more stuff. My dh goes overboard and we can not afford most of it and ILs buy too much and welive in small space. I always wish for less.

[Hera]

There are so many toys and games that look like fun to me. Wooden stuff, Playmobil stuff, you name it. I could spend a lot of money.

But...would it get played with? Dd1 really only wants to do gymnastics all day. Sitting down to play with toys isn't her thing. She isn't especially crafty, she doesn't like to color. What we need is to turn our house into a gym complete with mat furniture, spring-loaded floor, and rungs and bars and rings for climbing and swinging. She'd love it, but there's no way.

So, even when I get toys for her, they are mostly ignored. So then I have a bunch of stuff in my house that nobody enjoys. We're running out of space! I am actually dreading having to clean up after Christmas.

Her little sister just plays with all of the stuff dd1 has, so why should she need anything new?

[OTMomma]

I know what you mean about just wanting Christmas to be perfect. Its funny, I remember the Christmas I got my first Care-Bear, I was 5 and wanted that one toy more than anything! Looking back, we were super poor that year and I got little else, but as a kid I didn't care at all.

This year dd has a huge pile of presents, but to be honest, I got a bunch of things I thought dh and I would want to play with with dd. Dd is currently our only (though a little sib is due in the summer), and I really hate a lot of kids games/toys. So I got things I would enjoy doing with her- in a way I'm sad she won't get everything she asked for, but in a way I wouldn't want her to. Having everything you ever wanted doesn't help you appreciate what you have. YK?

[snuggly mama]

The gifts our kids are getting are thoughtful ones. While ds may initially be disappointed in the lack of game system (I am trying really hard to just get over that! ), I think in the long run he will love what he gets. We got him a dragon lego set, a couple of other smaller items, and a real tool box with tools and some scrap wood. It's not the flashy gift from the toy catalog, but I think he'll be playing with that long into next year.

We also got all three of them each a board game, which I am excited about because it encourages us to spend more family time together. The closer the actual holiday gets, the better I am feeling. Dh stills wants to get them a "big" thing (size-wise), so we are thinking about beanbag chairs which they want/need for the family room anyways. That'd certainly fill up space under the tree!

[Yooper]

I have to opposite problem. I collected three gifts for dd for Christmas. 2 Haba games and two playsilks. That is all we could afford.....dh and I are giving nothing to each other. BUT my mom and MIL are going so over the top (against our wishes) that I now have two problems. First our little pile has nothing in it that is going to wow dd like the loot she is getting from her grandparents. And second, I do not want her to be totally overwhelmed with having too many presents. Last year it took her 4+ hours to open them all. It was actually sad in many ways SO we are considering not giving her any of them and saving them for a rainy (or should I saw snowy) day. When I give dd a gift, it is special....not some sort of loot-fest that the grandparents are hellbent on imposing on us.

But to address the original question...... My mom is now one of the grandparents. She made sure my sister and I were buried in presents. HUGE pile. Probably 20+ gifts each not including other relatives. This is going to sound awful and ungrateful, but it was always overwhelming to me. I felt guilty because I knew my parents could not afford it And even more guilty because I did not want it all. I might have be a strange child, but I always thought Christmas should be simpler. I even asked my parents to have a gift-free Christmas when I was in the 7th grade. I was shot down. By high school I got savvy and started aksing for things that could be stored away for when I was on my own. I HAVE to be the only high schooler that asked for pots and pans And I got them. AND I still use them

[RubyWild]

I think it helps that my Dd isn't very aware of just what is out there.

[KayasMama04]

We are staying at my parents so she won't know whats from who. I went a tad nuts this year...with the deployment we have extra money. I would keep going if dh wouldn't kill me lol My parents gave us everything it was beyond nuts.

[becoming]

I know what you mean. Our little family's Christmas is much, much smaller scale than my childhood Christmases were. I refuse to go crazy and then spend the whole next year trying to get back on track financially like my parents and grandparents did. I do make sure I get my kids the one main thing that they want, though. I always ask my son every year, "What do you want more than anything for Christmas?" and I always make sure to get him that one thing.

[Village Mama]

Yooper.... I can completely relate!!!
After a couple of years of that same thing on one side of the family, they sent us a bit of money to take to our favourite store! I was super thankful!!!!! Last year it was a few sponge bob things and other commercial characters or stuff that breaks easily and is disposable.. We dont watch tv so the boys have NO idea what those things are!
The granndparents asked us to wrap what we got and put it under the tree. When I told them what we got they were really happy and surprised , because you could " never find anythiing like that at walmart!"
Its a fine balance in our house between having too little to get anything and just having too much. My partner used to throw up every Christmas and everything would end in a big overwhelmed crying heap!. I got very little for Christmas.... like a 5 dollar toy... and I have very fond memories of the holidays. Mostly cozy house, and good times with family memories!

[Mommy2Cadence]

This year is our first real Christmas. Last year she wasnt quite old enough and daddy was deployed. We started and finished our Christmas and her Birthday shopping about 2 months ago.(yes we shop early) I just split all the things we got her and half will be for christmas and half for her b-day next month. And I look at it and it looks like so much to me! Its maybe 2 bigger toys and 5 smaller toys for Christmas and the same for her bday. I guess I'm the oppostie. Nothing is too pricy though.

[RiverSky]

Yes, I know what you mean. This year, actually, we couldn't afford nearly as much as we have other years. Other years, even last year, we bought every single gift we could even think of getting the children, we did not hold back. This year, we had to really pick and choose, though they are still getting a lot. I've never found my children to be overwhelmed by having toys though my DS has stopped halfway through on Xmas morning and said that he'd had enough and we had to coax him to open the rest. LOL. In truth, there always end up being gifts that don't get used or played with for months, but that's okay, because then there are new things to engage them all the time.

I totally get the idea of simplicity and think it's great, I just don't manage to implement it into our lives with regards to our children.

[SiValleySteph]

Totally understand.

We actually did our Christmas last night because we'll be going out of town. I thought we had done a great job with gifts for DS (5 presents) and I kept reading about how opening lots of gifts would be overwhelming for kids this age (2). Well, he opened all his gifts and all our gifts and still wanted to open more. He did love his gifts, but I did feel a little dissapointed, like we should have more. He will get more from my family on Christmas Day, so I'm sure it's fine.

He had a tunnel & a tent, a camera, a small drum and a small set of Lego figures from us and then a book from a friend. It just doesn't seem like that much, you know? (Even though that was what we were going for!)

[Rigama]

Yes, I kinda suffer from gift lust for ds. He's an only child by choice, so in a way, that factors into it for me. I also grew up beyond poor. Actually under poverty level, so there were Christmas mornings when I'd wake up to find a spiral notebook and pen for my gifts, and I remember being jealous of kids who got a "real" christmas. So that's in there too.

In a way, though, I think it's appropriate for us to get a little crazy once a year. After all, he uses all his toys, and it's not his fault he doesn't have sibs to play with. He also has good stuff. Dh and I just got into a little tiff about the gifts he's getting. We purchased him an Leapster Lmax, 2 games to go with it, and a really neat castle set with knights, dragons, and accessories. He also has a set of Lincoln Logs and Gears that someone sent for last christmas, but we felt it'd be over kill then, they've been in hiding for a year, and his godfather is getting him a really nice wooden marble track. Is that really too much? I don't know. But it's good stuff and I think he'll enjoy it. And ultimately, WE only bought 3 gifts.

[Storm Bride]

I don't have this problem at all. I never remember getting more than two or three gifts at Christmas...one from Santa, and one or two from mom & dad. Some gifts were shared with my sister - and the all-time biggie (a second-hand pool table) was split with both of my siblings. DS1 got 8 gifts from me the year I split with his dad, but they were all really small and/or practical (a poster, a sweatshirt, etc.). Other than that, he's topped out at 5 in the past, and we've now settled at three. He gets two from us, and one from "Santa".

Now, we put all of our gifts under the tree, including the ones that are going up to my mom's. There's a huge pile under there, but the kids know they're not all for them, and they don't mind. DD is currently having a blast just by putting each gift under the tree as we wrap it (and ds2 is having a blast taking them back out!). She doesn't care how many are for her.

My kids also see the GINORMOUS pile of gifts under the tree at mom's when we get there (we exchange between my two siblings, two in-laws, 12 kids, and my mom, stepdad and godmother). They love seeing that pile! There won't be that many for each child, but they love seeing the stuff...

There's plenty of "wow" factor just in a stuffed stocking, ime.

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by Yooper

By high school I got savvy and started aksing for things that could be stored away for when I was on my own. I HAVE to be the only high schooler that asked for pots and pans And I got them. AND I still use them

I love this!
I wish I'd been so smart...my grandmother gave me a gift certificate for Sears every year, starting at about age 10 or 12. By the time I was 14, I was using them mostly for make-up. Pots and pans would have been a much better investment!

[zo's ma]

I'm with Yooper!

I actually get sick to my stomach becasue we end up with so much. WE don't buy much but the IL's go WAY overboard. My kids are the only g'kids and neice/nephew....bith sets of BIL/SIL are 2 income no kids. The boxes keep coming......and on top of all of the gifts, G'ma and Auntie have sent 600$ between them, ugh! So I go through, pilfer out some stuff and donate it.

My kids are media free and don't know what the hot toys are.....so no gift lust here.