How would you handle this?

[CMcC]

Okay, since I'm new to gd, how would you have handled this?

I asked my boys (ages 5 and 7) to go get out of their school clothes and into their play clothes so they could go outside and play. Thirty minutes later they still haven't changed and when I walk into their room to check on why it's taking so long .... I find BOTH of them on top of their plastic toy shelf! (Which happens to be about 4 feet tall.) So after I get them down, my 7 year old argues with me about it! :

BTW, everyday I ask them to get changed and it's ALWAYS a huge hassle. If I don't constantly watch their every move, it doesn't get done.

So.... how would you handle this?

[straighthaircurly]

Can you make a game out of it to see who can get dressed before a timer goes off? You can even add other challenges like get dressed and do 2 somersaults before the timer goes off or other challenges.

I find that it helps me to think of it from a kid perspective. Getting dressed is boring even though it might lead to fun stuff when you get to go somewhere. But the toys and games are right there for immediate fun. So games that can help make dressing more enticing in the moment are worth a try.

[MaWhit]

Do you ask them, as you say in your OP? Or do you tell them? If you phrase it as a question (even by adding a simple, "okay?" at the end) then you are giving them the choice of doing it or not.

[rmzbm]

If they need supervision to get changed I'd supervise. "Let's go change!" - and go along.

[mamaduck]

I would state it as a "when-then" scenerio. "When you are wearing play clothes, then you may go outside." Then if they didn't change, they'd have to play inside.

Is outdoor play compulsory?

I've got to some effort to make school clothes and play clothes the same clothes though! Its pretty important to me that they have a chance to be kids wherever they are, and not have to stress/worry about wrecking their clothes. They tend to get pretty down and dirty at school anyway. They really only have one or two set of "good" clothes each, for church, dinner out, etc.

Regarding the toy shelf -- I would say, "This is unsafe. It seems like you need to climb. How about you change your clothes and go climb outdoors?" I cannot imagine this, but if they argued that they should be allowed to climb on the plastic toy shelf, and would not see reason, then I guess I'd have to remove the toy shelf from their room. Which would be a real PITA. But I have trouble picturing it going that far!

[CMcC]

straighthaircurly: I might try making a game out of it. But my two boys are VERY competitive and usually end up fighting and/or hurting each other to "win".

MaWhit: Okay, I told them to do it, not ask. But I probably added "okay" to it. I usually add that to everything I say. So thanks for the tip, I'll keep in mind not to add "okay".

rmzbm: I've done the tag along to supervise changing. Thing is, EVERYTHING needs to be supervised with them. A few weeks ago I had had enough and my 7 year old was my shadow for an entire day. Not fun! Seriously, I send them unsuperivsed to the bathroom to wash their hands before eating.... they usually get into stuff they are not suppose to be in, don't wash their hands, and/ or end up fighting. It's a constant battle around here. I would love to be able to trust my boys to do simple things like wash your hands, get dressed, or use the bathroom without supervising every single move that they make. It's unfair to them, it's unfair to me, and it's unfair to my daughter and husband. Any suggestions on how to get past the point of supervising EVERYTHING?

mamaduck : I did tell them when they got their clothes changed they could go outside and play. Yes, yesterday was pretty much a mandatory thing that they went outside to play. The school doesn't have much recess so they have a lot of pent up energy. And the weather....you couldn't have asked for more beautiful weather! We were wearing t-shirts! However, because they didn't get dressed and was standing/sitting on top of the toy shelf, I did not let them play outside. My 5 year old threw a HUGE fit (with kicking/ hitting the walls, screaming and name calling included) and my 7 year old did argue that it was okay to climb up there. (Later they both admitted they knew they weren't suppose to be up there because they could get hurt...) I made them stay inside and help me with dishes and laundry for their behavior. And yes, my 7 year old does things like this all the time. He'll do something right infront of me and my husband and deny/ argue that he did anything wrong or blame it on his brother. The amount of things I have taken out of their room is amazing! I've got a garage full of stuff I've taken away. It doesn't seem to really affect them....especially my 7 year old. Oh, and the school clothes are limited. So I really do have to make them change. I've got more play clothes than anything else.

I know why my 7 year old acts like he does. I was like my 7 year old who didn't care what the consenquences where. (In second grade I asked my parents if I could spend the night with my best friend. They said not this weekend. I got on the bus anyway and spent the night with her. My friend's family had something important to do the next day... so I ended up going out of state with them also!) So I'm really not sure how to reach my son. I was and still am (to a point) the same way. HELP! It's the battle of "I'm going to do it my way". (BTW, he's also grown up watching DH question/ argue with me about anything I ask DH to do around the house. Which, of course, doesn't help.) As for my 5 year old, he's as stubborn as I am and has my temperment.

[LoveBeads]

I would start by looking at it from their perspective and then ask yourself if you are imposing a rule because it is important to you or because you just think it should be done. Can you guess where I'm going with this? Yep - I personally wouldn't have cared if they changed clothes and I'm wondering if that is really something vitally important or just a "because" rule.

Coming home and changing clothes is not going to be high on their priority list so if it is something that is important to you, I would have to supervise the changing. If you don't want to supervise (and believe me, I understand why) then they can't go outside to play.