Does it ever get on your nerves when...

[momofcutie]

your kids speak to an adult and he or she just ignores them? Like if they ask the grocery store checker a question and don't get a response. Just because they're kids. It's as if some people don't think kids are fully people yet or something. When people do this, I always say, "He must've not heard you. Go ahead and ask him again." Or "My son said..." This is one of my pet peeves. Perhaps this is more of a problem for homeschooled kids because they are comfortable with talking to people of all ages and all ages aren't necessarily comfortable talking to kids?

[somanythings]

Yes, it drives me nuts for my kids and I remember it driving me nuts when I was little, too. I used to hate it when the wait-person would ask my parents what I was ordering in a restaurant! I think you hit a nail on the head with the idea that h.s. kids are more comfortable engaging with adults and most adults are not used to that.

[simple living mama]

Yes, it's very sad when that happens. You could just see their little sweet face drop. It's too bad when others just don't realize that KIDS ROCK.

[onlyzombiecat]

I usually think they have not heard dd or had trouble understanding her. I sometimes have trouble understanding what little kids (even my own dd) are saying.
If I thought they heard her and understood her but are choosing to ignore her just because she is a child then I would be annoyed. That is just rude.

[RedWine]

Yes, this annoys me as well. I always say, "He/she didn't hear you, honey. I'm sure they would have answered you if they had heard you." I say this loudly.

[dharmamama]

I really haven't run into this. Most of the places we go, people are a bit surprised to see three kids in an interracial family out and about during school hours, so they regard our kids with interest and go out of their way to talk to them. Some of the places we go, the people are used to seeing the kids and make sure to greet them.

Sometimes people don't hear my kids because they tend to speak quietly, but I just do what others here have mentioned: "I don't think he heard you, honey, ask him again."

Namaste!

[Dillpicklechip]

This does happen to us sometimes when we are out shopping, as my dd is very talkative and always has a friendly word for every employee! (She was like this long before we started hs.) Sometimes the person engages in a conversation with her, and sometimes she is just plain ignored...I feel so bad when this happens, because she has such a friendly, open heart, and genuinely wnats to wish the other person a good day, but in all fairness grocery stores are pretty loud and I'm sure sometimes the person just doesn't hear her.

[Jen123]

I've got one child who will speak up. "Excuse me ? Did you hear me ? " and then I've taught her to add a caveat "It's loud in here" or "from my mouth to your ears is a long way." or something along those lines. Something humorous because she comes across as really direct and rude.

The teen is bigger than I am , but because he's so obviously a teen people ignore him as well. I step in sometimes but mostly I encourage him loudly "I don't think he heard you".

Dd12 is inbetween. Sometimes she'll speak up , sometimes she'll turn to me and mouth the word "help". I have found she takes it as an insult if I step in for her. She would rather be ignored that have me (anyone) step in on her behalf.

Three different answers for three different children.

[AuntLavender]

What a terrific sentence!

Originally Posted by simple living mama

It's too bad when others just don't realize that KIDS ROCK.

I love it!

Sincerely,
Debra, homeschooling mom of 4 ages 10, 9, 7, and 3 1/2

[Jen123]

Heehee KIDS ROCK is the motto of our Sunday school classes.

[ManiacMama]

Yes, I've noticed this a few times. I also do the, "I don't think they heard you," line. Luckily my 7 yo isn't very sensitive so it doesn't seem to bother him, but it bothers ME. It's just plain rude. After all, he is a person, albeit a smaller one.

[white_feather]

In defense of the people in the check out line and other places . . . sometimes I think they are very much in their own heads, and kids voices often become part of the background noises they are immersed in, even more so because they don't expect a child to be speaking to them. I know I have that tendency to be somewhat entranced in my own head at times, and not notice an unexpected person speaking to me ESPECIALLY in an environment with lots of ambient noise. Sometimes it's useful to not always assume the worst in other people, and I highly doubt that in the majority of cases it's about "children should be seen and not heard". People process things differently. However, I do think the above ways of handling it sound wonderful.

[chfriend]

We had this problem with my dd's *soccer coach* this season. My dd kicks gluteus maximus at soccer, and he just pretended he didn't hear her talking. She decided to quit the team and do the "advanced" league next season.

He had a hard time hearing girls. It could have been a hearing loss. Or it could have been that he was a sexist asshat. I don't know which. He would not engage me in conversation either.

We were shopping for a present for dd's friend last Saturday. She attempted to talk to the cashier, who did not respond. I told dd that the cashier was really busy during Advent with all the people shopping, so she was probably to busy to answer. At that point the cashier kind of looked around confused.

I think she really was having a busy day and just didn't hear her.

One of the reasons dd likes homeschool parents is that they have conversations with her. I heart them for it.

[mummy marja]

This bugs me too--and we get the opposite as well--people interuppting DD, who is speaking to me, as though what she is saying to me is not as important as what they would like to say to me. I usually turn and smile at them briefly and then look back at dd.

By the way, I love the t-shirt idea..."Seen and Heard" Excellent!

[lizzie]

My dd gets in their face, but so sweetly, it usually works for her. She's like "YOOHOO!! (waving her hand in the air) EXCUSE ME! HI! HELLO! HOW ARE YOU??" Once they've established eye contact with her, they usually kick in. If for whatever reason they don't, I'll kneel down on her level to tell her (quietly, where they can't hear) not to worry about it, they're very busy, and maybe they're having a bad day. Sometimes they start looking for me, cause I kind of disappear behind the counter, yk, and then they see dd, and talk with her.

Mind you, IT MAKES ME SO MAD when they really come off as blowing her off. But she's been this way all her life, too, like a pp's dd, and any negativity generally rolls right off her back... she's taught me a lesson about that.


lizzie

[Lillian J]

Originally Posted by white_feather

In defense of the people in the check out line and other places . . . sometimes I think they are very much in their own heads, and kids voices often become part of the background noises they are immersed in, even more so because they don't expect a child to be speaking to them.

I was thinking the same thing - especially if it's a loud and/or busy place, which so many stores are these days... Some, although not all, of the clerks might just be assuming those children are talking to their parents rather to them and might not be paying any attention to what they think is just a bit of an overheard conversation. - Lillian

[momofcutie]

I notice it mostly with young guys. They hear my son, but then look at me with an uncomfortable look and then look back to what they were doing. It's funny when I put it that way, actually. Like, "Ahhhh! I don't know how to talk to kids! I'll just pretend they're not talking to me!"

New question: Does it get on your nerves when another mom (or dad) corrects your child when you are right there?

If it's a friend and it's something I didn't notice, I don't mind. But I've had a friend's husband actually threaten to spank my son when he was 3 or 4 (!). I've had a mom tell my son in the library, "You need to apologize for that. That's wrong to do." And recently, the leader of our homeschool group yelled at him when he got on the microphone at our Christmas party. (Lots of kids talked into the microphone. I guess she'd just had enough by the time my son did it. But I was right there and on my way to deal with it.)

[momofcutie]

Your child's comment reminded me of another time something like this happened.

We were at Goodwill and my son was having an attitude about not getting a toy he wanted. And a young grandmotherly (late 50s early 60s) lady started lecturing him about how he should be grateful for all I do and not act like that and blah, blah, blah. At first I thought she'd just say one quick comment and move on. But she went on and on and he then hid behind me and started crying. : And this had never happened before so I didn't know how to handle it. I felt bad because I should have said, "That's enough. Thank you, but I'll discipline my own child."

Then after he started crying, she felt guilty I guess and bought him a toy!!!!!!!! Then, and you won't believe this, she said, "Love you!" The guy who checked us out gave me a look of shared annoyance. We got rid of the toy and I had to have a conversation with him about strangers. : For a couple of weeks after that, my son would say, "Remember that crazy lady at Goodwill? I didn't like her." Me neither.

[Lillian J]

Originally Posted by BradleyLLL

Listen to the behind the scenes of the show!
http://www.homeschoolingradio.com/me...20Martin.mp3

That link got truncated (because of its length, I think) and so it doesn't work. Could I bother you to make it into a MDC link? You just copy the url, type in a name for it and select it, hit the little tool above the box that looks like a blue globe with a link on it, then paste the url into the little box that comes up on the screen. I'd love to hear it! Lillian

[Ravin]

We don't have too much trouble with this, though sometimes people look to me for translation since DD is still kind of hard to understand (including my roommates). If anything we get a lot of strangers wanting to make small talk w/ her (how old are you? What's your name? etc.) and she acts shy and hides behind me with a grin on her face. (Give her ten minutes and she'll warm up to most anybody, though).

I don't get the touching kids in public thing. The other day we were standing at a bus stop, and an older couple with their (presumably) grandchildren walked by. The man just casually tousled DD's hair as they passed. They didn't even say hi, we didn't know them.

I swear next time someone does that I'm gonna tousle HIS hair!

Once we almost got asked to leave a coffee shop we frequent on the grounds that DD was bothering other customers and driving away their business! (It's next to campus and they try to maintain a study-friendly atmosphere). DD had gone up to this guy sitting at a laptop and struck up a conversation. The man gave NO indication that she was bothering him (I even asked), and was quite friendly and interacted with her for several minutes. Then he got up and left, saying something about needing to print something, and I got said warning. :

If you don't want to talk to someone, normally the way to handle it is to politely tell them so, isn't it? I don't think the guy complained to the person behind the counter, the owner is just a bit uptight at times.