Does it ever get on your nerves when... - Page 2

[Redifer]

I've worked as a cashier at a few places, the longest of which at Target. I ALWAYS talk to the kiddos if they talk to me. Sheesh, even when I don't work, I always answer kiddos. I've been known to stoop down in mid-shopping-excursion because a friendly little one wanted to make smalltalk for 15 minutes. And I love it when the parent lets their child talk to me for 15 minutes and not feel they have to rush the little one.

But yea, it irritates me too when people ignore my kiddo. It doesn't happen often here, as we're in a pretty child-friendly area. Waitresses ask dd what she'll be eating, cashiers ask her what she's buying and even let her swipe her library card in the credit machine. But occasionally, we got the ones who have NO interest.

Does it bother you when other people correct your children?
Yes, bigtime. It happens with my IL's alot. If I'm sitting at the table with her, and we're eating mini-rice cakes out of a bag, my SIL or grandMIL will yell at dd "No Helpie Selfie, you ASK!"... it's like, dude, I'm sitting right here and I just told her it was ok.. so now the poor thing is confused. Please stay out of it.

[taz925]

I don't think this is just a HS issue. I see it all the time. People just ignore kids. It is rude and I correct it no matter whose child it is. I saw a girl trying to ask a question at the bagel shop and no one would look at her. It was clear she had a question. I asked her what she needed and helped her out. How long is she supposed to stand there and be ignored? The bagel shop is notorious for being rude but I don't let them get away with it.

Doreen

[Dakota's Mom]

[QUOTE=BradleyLLL;6794426]
I also usually explain to my kids about our culture and history of children being "seen and not heard". Actually, wouldn't that be a cool T-shirt for kids!! ~~~Seen & Heard~~~ I may have to make one..


Actually there used to be a bumper sticker that says "Children should be seen and heard and believed." I bet you can find it on a t-shirt as well.

Kathi

[cbmr777]

It's not just limited to adults and homeschooled children.

My 8 yo DD (who looks more like 10 or 12) always gets ignored when she tries to talk to my neighbor. She'll tell or ask her something and the adult just acts like DD never uttered a word. Sad thing? This mom is a SAH homeschooling mom herself.

She doesn't ignore her own 7 yo son, though... :

The only people I've ever had correct my children are their own family members (mostly grandparents)... so I haven't really run into that problem, thank goodness.

[Dakota's Mom]

It really bothers me when other people correct my child. He is my child and if he needs discipline it should come from me. The other night we were shopping and he went ahead of me a bit. Some clerk started yelling at him, "No running, No running." Then we were checking out and he started messing with the machine that you slide your credit card through. I turned the cart away from it so he wouldn't destroy their machine. He stood up in the cart, but the cart was not moving. Some guy started yelling at him to sit down in the cart. I told him that I was trying to keep him away from their equipment and he was fine where he was in the cart. At that point another clerk started yelling at me that they were just looking out for my child. I told her I was looking out for my child. She actually followed me all the way out of the store yelling at me about how they are taking care of my child and another child fell out of a cart that morning and had to have 48 stitches and they wanted to make sure my child didn't get hurt. No matter how many times I told her that I was taking care of my child, she just kept it up. I finally told her it would be a long time before I came back to that store. I guess I can see their point if I were shopping and ignoring him. But I was standing right there with him waiting while DH paid for the things we bought. I was totally annoyed by them.

Kathi

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by Redifer

"No Helpie Selfie, you ASK!"

And they say it so nicely too.: "Helpie Selfie"? seriously? Is English not your SIL and MIL's first language?

[Redifer]

First language... they just think it's "sooo cutesy wutesy" it makes me want to gag. Then again, SIL is the one who keeps teaching my dd the wrong words for things: examples: Neeeeeeena = banana bagopbagop = sippy cup

the list goes on. Now she wonders why when both my dd and her dd are the same age (1 month apart) and my dd is speaking in complex sentences with correct words and her dd is going "Mooma, babble babble nnneeeeeeena peasncarrots?"....

But she's the first to jump on my dd's case for things I let her do, like getting her own milk from the fridge, or coloring on her stomach. I don't know how many times a day I have to tell her to butt the UA violation out and leave the parenting of my dd to me. It doesn't help that they totally SCREAM at the kids and wonder why they don't jump and obey... it's hard to understand the words you're saying when you're screeching like a weasle in the front grill of a car, you know? Gahhh I need my own IL rant thread.

[momofcutie]

Re: the "baby talk"

laughup

Man, I'd always have a headache from rolling my eyes!

[wallacesmum]

Question - what to do when someone isn't disciplining their child and the child is totally out of control? My mother was in the supermarket and this child was tearing around and crashed into her and her cart. She is very schoolteachery - I probably would have ignored it. But she touched the child (which was a mistake) and told him to be careful. The child's mother started screaming at my mom. She was too shocked to come back at her. My perspective on this is that my mom was a little too grandmotherly here, she definitely thinks that people are too uptight nowadays about their kids, but this woman was clearly out of control. How would you have reacted?

ETA - she was trying to treat the child with respect, by addressing him directly, rather than going over his head to his mother. How do you win?

[momofcutie]

That's a good point. I think safety issues are exceptions. And certainly, if a child is harassing you (i.e. bumping into you repeatedly without apologizing), you have the right to insist on your own boundaries.

I think we're mainly talking about people correcting kid behaviors that they simply find annoying when we, the parents, are there and are engaged with our kids. I wouldn't be irritated if another adult corrected my son for pulling books off shelves in the library if I was in another row and didn't know he was doing it.

I'll tell you when I say something-when kids in public harass animals. Whether they're teasing a dog behind a fence or throwing rocks at squirrels or chasing geese, I will tell them to quit. Even if their parents are there, if their parents are allowing them to do it. My husband worked for a local conservation district and learned that harassing wildlife can cost you money in fines. The parents who don't care if their kids harass animals don't care about the animals, but they care about potentially having to spend a lot of money because of it.

[tuffykenwell]

Personally I don't have a problem with people asking my DS to be careful if he bumps into them...that is just common sense IMO.

I do have a problem when people lecture my kids though or tell DS that he needs to not feel what he is feeling (ie he is crying because he hurt himself and they are saying "oh you aren't hurt, stop crying"....uh...bug off).

Steph

[umbrella]

Something humorous because she comes across as really direct and rude.

I have this with my dd! The words aren't rude, but she's so loud that I end up cringing inside sometimes, hoping the other people get that she's not being rude.

[umbrella]

Originally Posted by Dakota's Mom

It really bothers me when other people correct my child. He is my child and if he needs discipline it should come from me. The other night we were shopping and he went ahead of me a bit. Some clerk started yelling at him, "No running, No running." Then we were checking out and he started messing with the machine that you slide your credit card through. I turned the cart away from it so he wouldn't destroy their machine. He stood up in the cart, but the cart was not moving. Some guy started yelling at him to sit down in the cart. I told him that I was trying to keep him away from their equipment and he was fine where he was in the cart. At that point another clerk started yelling at me that they were just looking out for my child. I told her I was looking out for my child. She actually followed me all the way out of the store yelling at me about how they are taking care of my child and another child fell out of a cart that morning and had to have 48 stitches and they wanted to make sure my child didn't get hurt. No matter how many times I told her that I was taking care of my child, she just kept it up. I finally told her it would be a long time before I came back to that store. I guess I can see their point if I were shopping and ignoring him. But I was standing right there with him waiting while DH paid for the things we bought. I was totally annoyed by them.

Kathi

Stores can have rules for conduct in their stores. I don't find any of what was said to you to be out of line. Well, following you was over-kill, since you clearly didn't care, and following you obviously didn't change your mind.