do I have the right to feel this way?

[mlh]

So here's the story.
My husband and I were waiting until after my twin sister's wedding to try and get pregnant (with 2nd child). everyone in the family knew this. So we got pregnant right away and announced it. then a few days later, my twin sister announced she was pregnant. i was happy for her, but a bit upset that she didn't wait until she had been married for a little longer and to space things out a bit more between me and her.
i am due on the 28th, she is due on the 30th. my main concern/worry has been not having my mom here because she is in another state with my sister.
anyway, my sister is having a c section tonight due to high blood pressure...my thought is this could have probably been delt with differently but she opted for the c section because she just wanted to have her baby. (I am hoping for a VBAC so i have mixed emotions about her decision to have c section)
So...instead of being happy for her, i am just upset about it. are these feelings justified???
my mom is also leaving the day before my due date to go be with her and her new baby...I think I will just freak out if my mom is not here when i have the baby.
Thanks for listening, i just needed to get this out to someone and am affraid family will not understand!

[gaeasun]

My own opinion is that feelings are always valid. It is how one handles them that is important. Having said that, emotions during pregnacy, especially close to your due date (we have the same due date!), tend to be exagerated. [Which explains why I just yelled at my kids for coloring on the counter. : ] Anyway, the possibility of not having your mom must be very frustrating to you, and blaming your sister is natural. I am guessing they did not do this to you on purpose, but it still hurts. I don't have a twin or even a sibling, so I haven't had to deal with this. However, I think I would talk to my mom and at least let her know my disappointment at her not being at the birth. But that is me. I don't know the dynamics of your family, and you should do what works best for you. Sometimes just letting it out to someone is helpful.

Good luck! I hope your mom can be at the birth.

[Saramomofmany]

I just wanted to say I am sort of in a similiar situation to you. My sister and I are both pregnant. Me with my 4th, her with her 1st. She was "due" dec. 11th, and I was "due" Dec. 6th. Neither one of us have had our babies, though I had a "I think this might be labor" the other night, that obviosely wasn't. But both of us planned to have mom and out births, but because this is my 4th and her 1st, it's always just been assumed that she got first dibbs at mom. : My sister is so much more needy than me, and I'm more independant, so I kind of have to just take the leftovers and be satisfied with them.

So I'm sure this isn't helpful or answering your question, but I just wanted to let you know someone else was dealing with being due around the same time as their sister and such.

Good luck, Sara

[fostermomcchr]

I went through a similar, my first child was due in early April , my sis was due in May. Since my sis and I lived only 5 min from each other and my mom was 12 hrs away, she said she would not be able to be here for both, so she was planning to arrive after I gave birth so she would be here to see both children after they were born even though the due dates were a month apart.I delivered Derek 2 weeks early on a Wed, my sis went to the hospital on the following Sun and had an ER c-section on Mon. My mom ended up flying in a week after my son was born and stayed with my sis cuz her baby was a fussy baby as was her hubby, where as my baby was an easy baby and hubby was pretty helpful.

[cpop]

Ugh, that is really annoying. I don't know what your sister's motivations were but I know my sister (not twin but 11months older than me) would be capable of doing something like this on purpose.
She is getting divorced right now and has been a HUGE pain in my butt for the past month. My mom is staying with me, at my house, to help me with my dd because I am pregnant with twins. My sister has been basically living here without even asking or informing me about this, although she has a perfectly good apartment of her own, just 40 minutes away, because she "needs to be with mom". So I have to deal with her crap, with her sitting around watching tv all day, whining about her ex, and trying to pick fights with me all day. My whole family treats her like an emotional cripple and keep telling me how, "it is so hard for her right now" etc., but the thing is when you're very pregnant you just don't need to be dealing with other people's crap in your own house, kwim?
Anyhow, I just totally highjacked your thread, sorry, I just wanted to say it isn't entirely paranoid to think she would do it on purpose. I know people who would.
Hugs to you.

[mother culture]

That must be hard! For one having a Cesarean for high blood pressure is not good medicine and I would have to speak to her and remind her that she is really missing out on birth. And I think it would be very hard to share your mom with this big event happening to you but It must also be hard for your Mom to have to choose. I hope that your labour and birth go smoothly and bring positive feelings for you. I think it will be great in the future to have same age children with your sis!

[mlh]

Thanks sooo much for the kind responses. I have such mixed emotions right now. I just have to know that things will work out even if my mom is not here, she will be here soon after (hopefully).
thanks!!