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i dont know what to do

post #1 of 20
Thread Starter 
ok. i have been in denial that it is this late in the month. i have $77. i have to pay rent in about a week. i have to pay utilities and a stupid credit card that my stbx said he was paying but turns out he wasnt, and its in my name and last week they threatened to take me to court if i dont pay $66 by the end of the month.

i am going to be working more hours, but wont get that paycheck till the middle of the month. my next paycheck will be about $100.

my rent is $550.

i was a MIN, and i have recieved many wonderful gifts, and its just really wonderful i dont want to overlook that. but what am i going to do about my rent?

they told me at the cash assistance office that they will do child support enforcement if i sign up for assistance. if they do that STBX is going to be really really pissed. last time i threatedned him with child support enforcement, he threatened to start working part time so he wouldnt have to pay. and threatened to even quit his job so that he could take ds more than half time so he wouldnt have to pay ( i dont even know if thats a rule) . right now, if i work with STBX and am nice to him, he will give me $50 here and there when he "can" .

he works full time and makes $12 an hour and only pays 450 a month rent. i make $6. and my rent is 550. he decided to buy an SUV this fall instead of pay child support. he pays childcare, whihc is about 180 a month because i have a low income grant at the school, so he pays the rest. he has also helped with some bills in the past. but he doesnt pay a standard amount and i am just really really resentful of his nice car, and that he gets to go out to eat at least once a week if not more, and i dont know where rent is coming from and have to ask HH for clothes for my son. its really really really really frustrating and i have been in denial about Jan rent and now i am getting scared.

i am really screwed.
post #2 of 20
This is going to sound really bad on my part..but...... I haven't paid this months rent due to christmas, But it is gonna be a B@#$@#@$ getting the double rent paid next month...

Good luck to you mamma!!!!!!!!
post #3 of 20
Thread Starter 
but, how do you do that???? do i just call my landlords and say i cant pay? i just moved in a couple months ago. they have no reason to think i will ever pay. thats why this is stressing me out. i am afraid they will evict me.
post #4 of 20
Is cheaper housing for you an option? I'm sure you 've looked into and it certainly wouldn't help you now but down the road.

Also try calling the utility place before it is due and see if you can just pay something towards it and forward the balance til next month. If you call before you are late they are much more willing to be lenient than once you are past due.

Try calling the CC and seeing if you can do the same. I think they would be willing to take anything even $10, but it depends on if you are late now and how late.

Can you talk to your landlord and explain the situation briefly? Maybe the two of you could come up with a solution or payment plan.
post #5 of 20
Write them a letter or give them a call. Tell them you had a financial emergency and rent is going to be late. Apologize profusely.

To evict you is a lengthy, costly process. Easier in some states than others, but they'd still have to go to court. Don't worry about that.

Try to figure out what day you'll be able to pay your rent, so you can give them a date when they ask.
post #6 of 20
My parents are landlords and they have this couple who is habitually late with their rent. (I suppose what peeves me is that these people are constantly having children and buying new cars but can't pay their rent :, but it's none of my business so i don't get into it) My parents won't evict them b/c they always pay the late fees and it's such a complicated process of eviction.

Realistically speaking, even if your landlord was to evict you for nonpayment you'd have anywhere from 14-30 days to either come up with the rent or find some place to live.

Would it be possible for you to pay the landlord what you have right now?

I know it seems like a horrible idea, but i'd really think about applying for some type of assistance. DHS always ALWAYS requires you submit child support papers if your ex isn't paying and you're applying for services. If your ex gets irate tell him how broke you are b/c he never pays anything consistantly and you don't even have any food anymore to feed your kiddo. It wasn't you who had to do it, you had to do it in order to put food on the table! There is nothing wrong with wanting consistancy and at this point in time he's not willingly giving it to you

post #7 of 20
Originally Posted by MissSavannahsMommy View Post
I know it seems like a horrible idea, but i'd really think about applying for some type of assistance.
What makes this seem like a horrible idea?

It would help if ppl dropped the stigmas abt gov't help. It's there for a reason.
There's nothing horrible about it.
post #8 of 20
Originally Posted by Lucy VanPelt View Post
What makes this seem like a horrible idea?

It would help if ppl dropped the stigmas abt gov't help. It's there for a reason.
There's nothing horrible about it.
That's not what i meant. I meant it might seem like a horrible idea in her situation b/c she feels her ex is going to be upset with her because he'll get served with child support papers due to her applying for help.

I wouldn't nessicarily call my ideas on assistance a stigma. I do have a problem with it; But I don't have any problem with it being utilized for what it's designed for and this is a perfect example of what it's specifically set up to do- help needly families when an unforseeable problem (or problems for that matter) arrise.

Also, i wanted to add about the CS thing. You can order that he brings in his previous tax returns so they can accurately base his child support on yearly evidence. The judge will see that he was working full time at $12.00 an hour for however long he's been doing it and order him to pay the child support amount based on that figure
post #9 of 20
I agree. Talk to your landlords and explain everything. People who are upfront are far more likely to end up better off in the long run than those who just don't pay.

I also agree that the reason assistance is there is to help people. If you need it, use it.

If you file for child support and your ex gets a lower paying job...the judge can order that he still has to pay the amount designated when the order was signed...meaning, he won't be off the hook, he'll have to pay the same amount on a lower paying job. This is his responsibility too. He's threatening you and you're letting him get away with it.
post #10 of 20
I am a landlord, and have never evicted for being late. Just talk to them, tell them that you will pay when you get paid again, of what you can pay. Also go get help... there is NOTHING wrong with it. I did it, when I was freshly single, with no income to speak of, and I needed the help. I am now fairly comfortable, with good credit because I went to get the helpI needed.

My mom, got help when she was a single mom...and now...she is very comfortable. there is nothing wrong with asking for helpif you need it.

Also do you think that cs enforcement has never heard of ncps quitting...just to avoid paying... that is why support amounts are based on what he can make, and what he has made.

do what is best for you and your child.
post #11 of 20
my 2 cents.

get assit. screw stbx, if they go after him for cs so be it. Now judge will give a man shared custatody because hes only working part time, its crap plain and simple. call your landlord and plead your case. Tell them you can give them x amount of $$ and will continue to pay as much as possible. Worst case senerio is the try to evict you. Are you on an fincail assit. now? food stamps? medicaid? if not get on them as they will help to decrease your energy bills (sometimes) What state do you live in btw?

sometimes life sucks being a single parent.
post #12 of 20
Originally Posted by MissSavannahsMommy View Post
That's not what i meant. I meant it might seem like a horrible idea in her situation b/c she feels her ex is going to be upset with her because he'll get served with child support papers due to her applying for help.
Oh, okay.

Tell your ex that since y'all aren't together, he's not allowed to screw you, anymore. Then, take him to court and get your work done. His problems are his problems...not yours. You're allowing him too much control over your life.
post #13 of 20
Thread Starter 
i am on every kind of assistance. i have energy assistance application in the works, i get food stamps, i have medicaid for ds but not me.

there is no cheaper rent in this town unless i live with roomates. if there is, its really hard to find, and usually very crappy. i JUST moved into this house becuase i was living in the crappiest apartments on earth, next to meth heads, and it was 650 a month. i really really really do not want to move again right now. that is simply not an option. the rental market in this town is insane because its a college town and students can afford more cuz they get roomates. so rent continues to skyrocket. as it stands, i found a place just a few blocks from both my job and ds's school. this is all smart and good, only becasue i was in school full time up to last week, i was unable to work enough to pay the bills. i thought i would be able to make this work, but the timing of me getting more hours ( my boss couldnt give me more until starting tomorrow, so i havent worked this week off of school) is not going to help me for jan rent.

the assistance i am talking about is called TANF. they make you take how to get a job classes and document a job search, etc. i am fine with all of that.

i talked to my ex on the phone for a minute today and told him what i was facing. his argument is " well, how do all these students who live here and work part time pay all thier bills but you cant" and i said " um. because they have ROOMATES , therefore cheaper rent, and parents that can bail them out or help with expenses. because they dont have such limited schedules due to child care issues. becuase they dont have to pay extra child care if they work more than the preschool hours. because because because." i am so sick of explaining it to him. he said " but if you go file, and they take money out of my check, i will have to sell my car. " i was like YEAH, um, duh. you shouldnt have bought it. and him " i NEED a car so i can drive to my job " ( he can bus. and has)

he thinks i should just support myself , period. he thinks he is the greatest because he pays for ds's schooling. maybe he is right, but this is the second time since may i have felt scared i am going to end up homeless.

i am NOT popping out babies and incurring usless expenses and unable to pay my rent. i am DESPARATLY trying to finish my last year of school, find a job, and finally be independant. i am DESPARATLY trying to clean up my credit so i can buy a nice house for my son and i. i dont go out to eat. i dont buy myself clothes. i dont go to movies. i dont buy magazines, books, newspapers, cable TV, shoes, lipstick, haircuts, bras, earrings, internet. i cant pay my bills. i have a credit card, i have medical bills, i have phone, i have utilities. i am stuck in my cell agreement or i would cancel it. i dont have a land line phone. i cant pay my rent. i dont own a stereo,or an ipod, in a month i should hopefully be caught up finally cuz i will be working 30 hours a week. i am trying to sell my books on amazon, but apparently none of them are worth more than $2. i am doing everything i can think of.

i just realised i could go pawn my TV. i think i will go do that. hopefully thats $50? i cant sell my computer cuz i am hoping to find a stay at home job, but also i am a writer and need it. but i will sell it if i have to. this is where i am at.

sorry, but i sam still freaking out. i guess you are right, i should make the state go after my ex. god i hate this.
post #14 of 20
Pawn shops screw you every time, but good luck if that's what you need to do.

Isn't there a HUD program where you live? That's for rent assistance. It might take a while to get, but you could at least be on the waiting list.

If you sign up for TANF, it should be at least a few weeks before they start forcing you to get a job. You sign up, take the money when it comes, and then quit the program if you don't want them to take your ex to court.

Honestly, tho, I think you'd be better off making sure there's a court order for child support. Who cares how your ex's life will be affected? He obviously doesn't give your life that sort of priority.

You are supporting yourself. The thing is, he is supposed to help support his child. And, not just in the ways he thinks are important.

Good luck. I'd push for child support. He's selfish.
post #15 of 20

Turst the Universe... it rewards action.

Trust the Universe... it rewards action.
post #16 of 20
Dang, Viewfinder.

That post made me want to go out and be somebody!

post #17 of 20
Thread Starter 
ill ask my boss for an advance? i am about to go to work..i am shy about asking but its better than getting in trouble with the landlord. if i can get 200 bucks i can maybe get another 200 from my ex and i have a check for 97 i forgot to cash that i didnt account for earlier today. i dunno. i am going to try. i am also going to call my old job and ask if i can work this weekend.
post #18 of 20
For some reason, you post really spoke to me. I am so sorry you are going through this right now! My ds's dad didn't pay anything consistantly, and I finally had to go get some TANF assistance - they automatically opened a case for c/s, which ticked my X off ROYALLY (he still isn't over it, two years later). The DOR automatically takes c/s from his paycheck and sends it to me. While X was madder than a hatter and got his boxers in a bind up his rear end, the truth of the matter is, I needed financial help with our child, a child who has a right to be financially supported by both parents, consistantly. X has a really nice car and every techno gadget known to mankind, as well as fancy clothes and watches and doodads.... he didn't want to give up his lifestyle to support his child, but I couldn't pay rent, couldn't buy groceries -- I know where you are right now because I've been there too.

Please don't be afraid to seek court ordered child support. It won't really help you right now (it takes forever and a day to get worked out) but it will help eventually and your X needs to step up to the plate and do his part.

I agree that the CC will just have to wait. You can work on repairing your credit (who has good credit nowadays anyway? ) later when you are getting regular, consistant child support, and the CC companies will get snitty with you, but food and rent are first priority.

Maybe you could research really quickly how much court ordered child support your X would have to pay based on his income (or however your state does it). Tell your X that this is how much he can expect to pay, but this month, you will graciously accept $_____ instead. The longer he goes without paying, the more arrearage he could be facing - tell him that, too. He could face thousands of dollars in back support.

Good luck.
post #19 of 20
yup i was taken to court. and yup called up legal aide for advice. their advice? the cc company is just trying to make sure everyone agrees that's how much u owe. i didint even have to answer since it wouldnt make any difference to the judgement.

i would say do the best u can with rent. perhaps pay at least half months now. and then tell ur landlord you will pay later if u dont want to rely on their response. they will be willing to work with u. to the number of landlords and companies i have spoken to they have always said they would appreciate a heads up.

i know with rent i am at the cheapest place to in this town. except i am sure for bad neighbourhoods.

stirringleaf - let go of the fear. let go that everyone is out to get you. and u will be amazed at how things work out for you.

i am in the same place as you. i have lived with the scare of homelessness for teh past 5 months. the last 3 months i have lived on the change in my house for food and food banks. i was hoping to work this week to make some christmas money but nope. so my dd is not getting even one christmas present. but that's ok. she really isnt into presents. and she will probably get some from her gpa. i did not sign up for a min because in case i needed it i do have friends to fall back on. as opposed to someone like you who doesnt have anyone. but u can borrow only oh so much.

my dd's dc worked with me in such a way that i volunteer there to pay off my part of the pay. my immigration status doesnt allow me to get anything. i am in the process of filing for divorce and since we do joint custody my ex pays me nothing.

i have sold, bartered done a lot of things. but really i would hold off selling stuff like the tv and first speak to ur landlord and see where they stand. if they would at least take half. believe me i have been in ur shoes many times and have trembled to talk to them and i have and they have always been kind.

perhaps its might work out to see around for another job. like right now. see if any stores have any to hire signs.

i am at a point where i am no longer scared of homelessness. i dont want to do it because my dd's dad would make my life miserable.

my only issue is finding a job. we have used up all i have. right now my no. 1 priority is food. just to have some basic decent food and not have to hear mom beans and rice AGAIN. it would be so nice to get some fresh fruit and vegetables. it would be nice to have some milk and juice in the house.

its hard for me to ask for help. its hard for me to go upto people and say hey i need some groceries. i mean they are helping me with other things too. so instead i send my dd to dc just so she can get some decent food and snacks. somedays i eat there too just to get something good to eat.

hang in there sl. check out all ur options. talk to the landlord so u can take some stress off of you. see how they answer. if they say no then u know you HAVE to come up with the money. and u seem to have a plan. if they are ok and let u do two payments then take some time to breath.

and so if u r on assistance how come the dad is not paying CS?

you are trying SL. trying v. hard. looking at all the options open to you. ur landlords should understand. esp.renting to a student and a single mom. so i am sure they are aware of what they are getting into.
post #20 of 20
have you tried getting help through www.modestneeds.com ? might be worth a shot in your situation!
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