His story:
Christmas is coming and so is a little one. I find myself feeling in limbo. I know you aren’t due until December 30 and I don’t want to get my hopes up. So I try to prepare myself that you could even be late and share a birthday month with daddy. However, on a Tuesday, while I’m shopping at Trader Joes, it occurs to me, “didn’t I just have a contraction?” Sure enough, I was having mild contractions between 5 and 7 minutes apart. I didn’t really believe it was labor, just my body warming up. I did wonder about going to work Wednesday. Not because I thought you would come Wednesday, but more if you came Wednesday night or Thursday, I would be tired from working. Wednesday morning came and I felt great without contractions, so off I went. I had contractions throughout the day, but again nothing intense and I still believed labor to be far off. But you were getting ready. You were much quieter than typical. I came home tired, but happy and ready.
And so Thursday, 3:14 am I felt this little pop and it begins. And immediately thought, “did my water just break?” I ran to the bathroom and a trickle came out, leaving me confused. Did I just pee, or did my water break? Strangely enough, my labor with Natalie started at the same time of day. Dh woke up about an hour later and we deliberated on him going to work, working from home, or just staying home. Shortly thereafter I had my first “real” contraction and simply said, “or not.” Active labor began very quickly but I felt really in control of it. I breathed a lot and had a mantra in my head of “open,” breathe, “open.” At one point, I just knew it was time to go. I had called the doctor earlier telling him my water had broke and that I anticipated being at the birthing center in a couple of hours. Little did I know that I would be right on. He later talked with admiration at my ability to predict labor. I felt the same way. This labor already was so different from Natalie’s. I was so much more calm and centered in my body and its’ work.
I called my friend who was taking care of dd and we finally got ourselves on the road about 10:30 am. I had four or five contractions in the car, maybe more. But I kept my mantra and breathing going. Louis Armstrong was playing (man I love his voice!). During one contraction, when I was visualizing really well I actually felt things open up, an amazing sensation. At the hospital, where the birthing center is, what should have been a short 5-minute walk took me almost half an hour. The further we got, the quicker the contractions came. A 10-foot hallway right at the entrance to the center took three stops. But I felt so in control. That’s what amazed me. With dd’s birth I was so scared. I was so panicked and out of control and with Evan it just felt right. Hard. But, right. When I got there the nurse was trying to ask me paperwork questions and by this time at the peak of the contractions there were times when I couldn’t breathe. So, I’m looking at her with this look of incredulity, like, “do you really expect me to answer you?” She started the water in the tub (man it was huge!) and asked to check me. She did and at one point, I told her loudly “enough, enough already!” She stopped and said, “you’re complete.” I looked at her and asked, “What do you mean I’m complete? I’m completely effaced or I’m completely dilated?” “Dilated.” I stared at her. I didn’t believe her really. She went on to add that there could be a bit of cervix left since she didn’t complete her examination since I asked her to stop, but that she was pretty sure I was complete. This was my first inkling of just how much I was going to love this nurse. She listened. Really listened. If I asked her to wait on checking baby, she waited. When I told her I was ready, she was there.
I got into the tub and this was the beginning of things being tough. I began vocalizing more with the contractions. At this point dh moved away as just even being close was unnerving to me. I even snapped at the ob when he came in and put his hand on my head to “get off me!” He snatched his hand away and took the cue from dh that I just wanted to be left alone. I wanted it quiet, dark, and for no one to touch me. This was very much like dd’s birth. Dh remembered well and said later he chuckled to himself when both the nurse and the ob touched me, thinking to himself, “you don’t want to do that…” He was awesome throughout the whole labor. So the nurse and ob went into the bedroom area and left us alone in the bathroom.
At one point I thought I was going to poop in the tub and carefully and slowly got out to go to the bathroom. While there, of course I began to push. In hindsight it was these little wimpy pushes that weren’t doing anything. I began to be a little scared and asked Dh to tell the ob that I couldn’t get the baby to descend. The ob had me get onto the bed to see what was going on. Things are very blurry at this point. I do know that while Evan was not sunny side up he was close. The ob guided me on how to push and how this would help him to turn. This is the part where I am amazed by my husband. When I pushed he would take one foot and put it on his chest, take the other foot and hold it back. Somehow the ob was in there using his fingers to help guide my push and telling me when a push was particularly effective. This was really helpful to me because I quickly figured out how to push more effectively. I pushed like a fiend. I pushed and I pushed and I pushed and slowly and gradually Evan turned. Then, the ob said, “he’ll come with any push now. He’s ready and so are you.”
And I pushed with everything I had. I pushed to bring my baby that I have waited and prayed over, cried and celebrated. I pushed with every ounce of my being and he came. Dh told me about his hair and I reached and touched his face. It was warm and slippery and so soft. My fingers were running over his eyes and his nose and had just reached his mouth. He didn’t slip out like dd. He was big. I pushed again and he came the rest of the way. In less than a breath’s moment, he was on my chest. I was staring at this creature. This baby. My baby. He was here. In my arms. I hadn’t received that gift with dd. There was meconium in her waters. He was alert, but quiet. And then he cried and my time out of time snapped away, as my arms flew around him, his crying stopping almost immediately. Here was my baby boy, my son. In that moment, I became the mother of children. He joined our family filling a space that had been empty. Welcome Evan, my fighter.
To finish our story, they waited to clamp the cord as I asked and dd came immediately into the room. She climbed right up on the bed staring in awe at her little brother. She watched when they did clamp the cord with a mixed look of awe, fear, and disgust. But as the placenta came out she was enrapt. She stared solemnly as the ob showed her where baby Evan had been and how he had been attached. At one point she said, “I know that” when he talked of how the placenta fed the baby. I was so proud of my smart little girl. And then they left. It was quiet, us, our family. I held him close, warm and heavy on my chest. Feeling his presence and his warm breath on my skin. And it was like that for a long time. No one bothered us for what seemed like hours.
Nursing has been going well. He has a small mouth and with my competing with Dolly Parton jugs, has made nursing a little of a challenge. But he’s peeing and pooping great. Now let’s see if he can figure out day from night
Christmas is coming and so is a little one. I find myself feeling in limbo. I know you aren’t due until December 30 and I don’t want to get my hopes up. So I try to prepare myself that you could even be late and share a birthday month with daddy. However, on a Tuesday, while I’m shopping at Trader Joes, it occurs to me, “didn’t I just have a contraction?” Sure enough, I was having mild contractions between 5 and 7 minutes apart. I didn’t really believe it was labor, just my body warming up. I did wonder about going to work Wednesday. Not because I thought you would come Wednesday, but more if you came Wednesday night or Thursday, I would be tired from working. Wednesday morning came and I felt great without contractions, so off I went. I had contractions throughout the day, but again nothing intense and I still believed labor to be far off. But you were getting ready. You were much quieter than typical. I came home tired, but happy and ready.
And so Thursday, 3:14 am I felt this little pop and it begins. And immediately thought, “did my water just break?” I ran to the bathroom and a trickle came out, leaving me confused. Did I just pee, or did my water break? Strangely enough, my labor with Natalie started at the same time of day. Dh woke up about an hour later and we deliberated on him going to work, working from home, or just staying home. Shortly thereafter I had my first “real” contraction and simply said, “or not.” Active labor began very quickly but I felt really in control of it. I breathed a lot and had a mantra in my head of “open,” breathe, “open.” At one point, I just knew it was time to go. I had called the doctor earlier telling him my water had broke and that I anticipated being at the birthing center in a couple of hours. Little did I know that I would be right on. He later talked with admiration at my ability to predict labor. I felt the same way. This labor already was so different from Natalie’s. I was so much more calm and centered in my body and its’ work.
I called my friend who was taking care of dd and we finally got ourselves on the road about 10:30 am. I had four or five contractions in the car, maybe more. But I kept my mantra and breathing going. Louis Armstrong was playing (man I love his voice!). During one contraction, when I was visualizing really well I actually felt things open up, an amazing sensation. At the hospital, where the birthing center is, what should have been a short 5-minute walk took me almost half an hour. The further we got, the quicker the contractions came. A 10-foot hallway right at the entrance to the center took three stops. But I felt so in control. That’s what amazed me. With dd’s birth I was so scared. I was so panicked and out of control and with Evan it just felt right. Hard. But, right. When I got there the nurse was trying to ask me paperwork questions and by this time at the peak of the contractions there were times when I couldn’t breathe. So, I’m looking at her with this look of incredulity, like, “do you really expect me to answer you?” She started the water in the tub (man it was huge!) and asked to check me. She did and at one point, I told her loudly “enough, enough already!” She stopped and said, “you’re complete.” I looked at her and asked, “What do you mean I’m complete? I’m completely effaced or I’m completely dilated?” “Dilated.” I stared at her. I didn’t believe her really. She went on to add that there could be a bit of cervix left since she didn’t complete her examination since I asked her to stop, but that she was pretty sure I was complete. This was my first inkling of just how much I was going to love this nurse. She listened. Really listened. If I asked her to wait on checking baby, she waited. When I told her I was ready, she was there.
I got into the tub and this was the beginning of things being tough. I began vocalizing more with the contractions. At this point dh moved away as just even being close was unnerving to me. I even snapped at the ob when he came in and put his hand on my head to “get off me!” He snatched his hand away and took the cue from dh that I just wanted to be left alone. I wanted it quiet, dark, and for no one to touch me. This was very much like dd’s birth. Dh remembered well and said later he chuckled to himself when both the nurse and the ob touched me, thinking to himself, “you don’t want to do that…” He was awesome throughout the whole labor. So the nurse and ob went into the bedroom area and left us alone in the bathroom.
At one point I thought I was going to poop in the tub and carefully and slowly got out to go to the bathroom. While there, of course I began to push. In hindsight it was these little wimpy pushes that weren’t doing anything. I began to be a little scared and asked Dh to tell the ob that I couldn’t get the baby to descend. The ob had me get onto the bed to see what was going on. Things are very blurry at this point. I do know that while Evan was not sunny side up he was close. The ob guided me on how to push and how this would help him to turn. This is the part where I am amazed by my husband. When I pushed he would take one foot and put it on his chest, take the other foot and hold it back. Somehow the ob was in there using his fingers to help guide my push and telling me when a push was particularly effective. This was really helpful to me because I quickly figured out how to push more effectively. I pushed like a fiend. I pushed and I pushed and I pushed and slowly and gradually Evan turned. Then, the ob said, “he’ll come with any push now. He’s ready and so are you.”
And I pushed with everything I had. I pushed to bring my baby that I have waited and prayed over, cried and celebrated. I pushed with every ounce of my being and he came. Dh told me about his hair and I reached and touched his face. It was warm and slippery and so soft. My fingers were running over his eyes and his nose and had just reached his mouth. He didn’t slip out like dd. He was big. I pushed again and he came the rest of the way. In less than a breath’s moment, he was on my chest. I was staring at this creature. This baby. My baby. He was here. In my arms. I hadn’t received that gift with dd. There was meconium in her waters. He was alert, but quiet. And then he cried and my time out of time snapped away, as my arms flew around him, his crying stopping almost immediately. Here was my baby boy, my son. In that moment, I became the mother of children. He joined our family filling a space that had been empty. Welcome Evan, my fighter.
To finish our story, they waited to clamp the cord as I asked and dd came immediately into the room. She climbed right up on the bed staring in awe at her little brother. She watched when they did clamp the cord with a mixed look of awe, fear, and disgust. But as the placenta came out she was enrapt. She stared solemnly as the ob showed her where baby Evan had been and how he had been attached. At one point she said, “I know that” when he talked of how the placenta fed the baby. I was so proud of my smart little girl. And then they left. It was quiet, us, our family. I held him close, warm and heavy on my chest. Feeling his presence and his warm breath on my skin. And it was like that for a long time. No one bothered us for what seemed like hours.
Nursing has been going well. He has a small mouth and with my competing with Dolly Parton jugs, has made nursing a little of a challenge. But he’s peeing and pooping great. Now let’s see if he can figure out day from night
Thanks for posting your birth story.
