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WWYD of your child did this to your home EVERY DAY? - Page 3

post #41 of 108
gosh y'all are harshing on satori! did you see in her post where she said she hurt her back in a car accident on the 21st? she's a single mom with a messy 6 yr old and a baby. well maybe i wouldn't be able to keep tabs on my 6 yr old either if i was laid up in bed with a bad back. she has a whole thread about the accident elsewhere. cut her some slack!
post #42 of 108
I doubt that entire mess was made in a week.
post #43 of 108
, Satori!

I am sorry to hear about all the trauma (car accident) and drama (6 years olds and messes) going on in your life right now.

Just wanted to give you a !
post #44 of 108
Quote:
Originally Posted by beanma View Post
gosh y'all are harshing on satori! did you see in her post where she said she hurt her back in a car accident on the 21st? she's a single mom with a messy 6 yr old and a baby. well maybe i wouldn't be able to keep tabs on my 6 yr old either if i was laid up in bed with a bad back. she has a whole thread about the accident elsewhere. cut her some slack!
It's not about being harsh, or cutting her some slack. She's said that it's her 6 year old that's the problem. I think looking at those pictures, and the kinds of stuff that are still laying around the house, it's not just the 6 year old that's the problem. That's what people are trying to say.

And at any rate, if she's laid up in bed with a bad back and no one to help her care for herself or her kids, a messy house is the least of her worries, and she's going to have to just set it aside (and not blame the 6 year old either) until she can actually DO something about it.

She didn't make mention that she's incapable of doing anything. She didn't say that she just wanted to vent. To me, that means that even if she can't do something about it nownownow she's wanting things to do once she can actually do something about it.

In which case, MY advice still stands. Lose as much unnecessary stuff as you can, even if you "might" need it "someday" (and yes, I very personally know how hard this is to do). If there's things that you cannot afford to keep space-wise but that you MUST hold on to, then seriously think about making a small financial sacrifice to store them elsewhere (and beg/plead/cajole friends into helping you get them there). Pragmatically, the less stuff you have in your house, the less you have to pick up if your kid throws everything across the room. And start assigning chores, slowly at first, to both yourself and each kid according to their ability.

But if you're bedridden, for pete's sake, there's absolutely no point in getting upset about things when you cannot physically do anything at all about it. It doesn't do anyone any good to blame it all on the 6 year old, or to kick yourself because you can't do everything all at once when you are physically incapable of doing so (and even if you ARE, it's not the best idea). You can only do what you can do, when you can do it.
post #45 of 108
No, many of the posters in this thread are choosing to (a) disbelieve Satori and (b) be condescending in the way they talk to her about their disbelief.

It is possible to question who made the mess without being unpleasant. (Some people have). But the overall tone of this thread is rude and confrontational.. We wouldn't show our kids such a lack of compassion, would we?

I mentioned one possibility that no one has acknowledged, which is that if you spend 2-3 hours a day picking up the messes a 6 year old makes and remakes, you don't have time to declutter or organize. I think it possible to believe these two things are both true: Satori's child has some serious behavior problems and that because of this (and the other factors in her life) the clutter has built up.
post #46 of 108
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Originally Posted by Dechen View Post
No, many of the posters in this thread are choosing to (a) disbelieve Satori and (b) be condescending in the way they talk to her about their disbelief.

It is possible to question who made the mess without being unpleasant. (Some people have). But the overall tone of this thread is rude and confrontational.. We wouldn't show our kids such a lack of compassion, would we?
:

It is not a moral failing to have something other than a spotless, anally organized and categorized home. Some of us really are conceptually challenged when it comes to decluttering; I don't know where I'd be without DH get the ball rolling. There have been some good suggestions on this thread, but the attacks (and psychiatric diagnosis -- wtf?) are really uncalled for, especially in light of the other factors.
post #47 of 108
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Originally Posted by Dechen View Post
Satori's child has some serious behavior problems and that because of this (and the other factors in her life) the clutter has built up.
I honestly think Satori's DD's behavior is learned. Which is pretty great news. It requires that Satori, with the help of friends and family, declutter the house and get the apartment to a point where she can lead by example.

I don't think I am condescending to Satori at all. Straightforward, yes. Condescention, no way.

As someone else said, she came her for advice, not strictly to vent. She layed the blame squarely on her DD's shoulders. If all that stuff wasn't crammed into such a small space, then her DD would not have the opportunity to overturn a computer monitor (which is oviously not in use, because Satori posted the picture on the internet), remove a lampshade, stack container upon container, etc...

I absolutely stand by my advice to seek help for depression. Those pictures scream "HELP!".
post #48 of 108
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Originally Posted by NoHiddenFees View Post
:

It is not a moral failing to have something other than a spotless, anally organized and categorized home.


Thank you!

When did "disorderly = candidate for the loony bin" become the mantra here at MDC? The shaming people get when they disclose a disorderly house. : You'd think they were beating their kids with crowbars.

"Depression" ??? - sorry those pictures may scream "we are currently overwhelmed here" but wow. Just wow.
post #49 of 108
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When did "disorderly = candidate for the loony bin" become the mantra here at MDC?
A little over dramatic, do you think? No one said "loony bin". I certainly did not. Since when does depression = offensive term for psychiatric care? I did not suggest psychotherapy, pyschoanalysis, anti-depressants, etc... I suggested she seek help for depression and I absolutely stand by that suggestion.

The OP and her kids are living in a pretty dangerous environment, IMO. She's not in the best physcial condition because of the accident. What if she tripped and fell? What if the baby pulled up on one of the many boxes and they tumbled to the floor? Satori said her daughter is pretty destructive; what if she (DD) climbed that bookshelf, as kids are prone to do?

Clutter and some disorganization are one thing. My house is certainly not spotless. I am not at all saying her apartment needs to be spotless. You should see my laundry room right this minute. It's atrocious. But it's not unsafe.

And someone else made the remark about speaking to one's children...I am straightforward with my kids. I tell them the natural consequences of their actions. I do it with their safety and best interest at heart. I think it's pretty condescending to expect grown-ups (this is a grown-up board, after all) to speak to other grown-ups in a way that's reserved for a 6yo.
post #50 of 108
As a disorganized person who has lived in tiny spaces, I must give Satori a big

It's hard especially when you have a ton of stuff. Satori, can you enlist some friends to help declutter and then have a large garbage can and a dontate can? If you have help, I bet it would go by pretty quick and it wouldn't feel so overwhelming. -I am projecting here, that is how I feel when it is time to declutter.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.
post #51 of 108
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by UUMom View Post
Some of that doesn't look like kid mess to me. Is that a vacuum cleaner and boxes of unopened tinsel in the room? (or is that a stack of computer paper?) Those stacked plastic bins with stuff on top of them? The stroller? (or is that a car seat? Can you put the stroller in the hallway or in the car trunk if you have one? In the bedroom? Hall closet?

I find my kids are better at not doing crazy things if there is some rhyme and reason to begin with. Some of it can't be helped when you live in a small home, but purging frequently helps me.
That's kid mess. Yes she lugged out the vacuum because it was in her way as she wanted into the closet trying to get something out that she wasn't supposed to have anyway. I fully owned up to the xmas stuff being my fault because I was PUTTING THEM AWAY while she was sleeping. The bins were neatly packed and ready to be hauled off to storage and she dug into the top one which is why its open. I don't own a stroller, its a car seat your seeing, I brought it in to wash the cover since she spilled her drink on it in the car. I haven't had time to drag the cover to the laundry mat to wash it and she's been dragging the seat all over the house playing with it. This is a kid who can move a portable clothes washer easier then I can, moving vacuums and car seats is not a big deal to her (although you'd think her shoes weighed a ton trying to get her to pick them up)
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If the OP's house is like mine (and gee, sure looks like it is! ) you have to go into the room where the child is sleeping to put away the clothing. So you might perpetually have a cycle where you wait to fold until she's asleep, then go to bed, then she wakes up and trashes your folding project, perhaps before you're even out of bed!

yep and she's often a light sleeper so opening a dresser will wake her up. I'm thinking maybe its time to move the dressers into the living room.


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Okay, I'm a Quaker and here's what we do. Don't know if it's typical of Quakers or not...

If my dd's made a mess (she's 6, btw), I've explained to her that she has ___ minutes in which to clean it up. Set a reasonable time for the mess in question. If it's not cleaned up in ____ minutes, the items remaining out will get put away in the closet by me and will not be taken down for____ (set a period of time). They will be returned, I reassure her, but they definitely will be removed by someone, either by me or by her.

So far, this has worked. I also explain the why of picking up: if blocks are left on our wood floor, they could cause someone to step on them and hurt their feet or skid and hurt themselves; if dolls are left out, they could be broken or stepped on, and so on. At the same time, I pick up after myself too, so it's not just a case of Mean Dictatorial Order-Givin', Butt-Sittin' Mom.
Done that many many times, it ends in my literally dragging her across the floor as she holds on to the item for dear life while I take it away. Its one on the reasons I save cleaning until she's asleep.


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It sounds like you are focusing extra stuff on her that isn't fair. It's totally out of line for her to destroy your folded laundry. OTOH, why is folded laundry sitting out in the first place, or why isn't she expected to put it away once you fold it?

Because I can't put it away while she's sleeping without waking her up. Getting her to do it during the day, well, I've had root canals that were more fun and less stressful then getting her to help around the house.


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The pictures you've shown show surface kid mess. But underneath it is adult disorganization and clutter, unless your 6 year old was dragging the vacuum around and leaving it in the room, and threw a bunch of storage tubs in there and is responsible for having large, bulky items (like the carseat) laying around--which could very well be true, as in she drags them out of whatever closed door you've put them behind, I'm *not* discounting the possibility. You're not going to get rid of the kid mess without solving the underlying problem. It's VERY hard to do in a small apartment. And storage is not free in most places. But in the four months it took me to process my stuff and give myself a breather, that $20/mo. was a lifesaver just so that I could have some peace and the rest of my family could breathe as well.
See above. Although I did originally have the car seats stacked on the freezer next to the totes. She took them down to get into the totes. I have a storage unit and since Santa came she up and packed up all her toys and wants them to go there so tomorrow morning I'm hauling it off before she can change her mind! (we've been out of town for a couple days and just got back tonight or I would have done it sooner)

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I think it's time that your 6 year old had some chores. It is inappropriate of her to destroy work that you've done. It is not wrong for you to give her some consequences for doing something like that. However, please understand that if that is the environment she's seen all her life, she is not going to 'see' what needs to be done to make things look neater. And it may also be part of her nature

I have been trying to get this child to do chores since she was a toddler and she's flat out refused no matter what the consequences. Tells me either she's a princess and princesses don't clean up there messes or tells me to go get the cleaning lady to do it! We had someone to help keep things from looking like a bomb went off when I was working and could afford it (we haven't had someone in over a year but its never been this bad!). She thinks its her god given right to have a maid and my mom is literally a neat freak so she does know what clean is. She just freaks out when you start cleaning.


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I'm not saying your house is a pit. Not by a long shot. But to be honest, I see more things in there that an adult should correct than six year old wild rumpus mess. And if it's really starting to bother you, then you should not only get tough with her stuff, but also with yours. I know how hard/nervewracking that is to do though. Damn near overwhelming.
It sure feels like a pit! It is overwhelming and I I've just wanted to cry looking at it so when Santa asked what I wanted for xmas I told him a day with a professional organizer! I got my wish and she's coming on Tuesday

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Not being mean here, but just taking a quick look at those pictures. 4 (maybe more??) boxes of Christmas ornaments lying around, an old computer monitor, loose rolls of toilet paper, empty ziploc containers, extra large box of twinkies on the couch, many plants, watering can (can't you bring the plants to the sink?), empty priority postage boxes, luggage rack, tinsel, empty plastic bags. All of these things could go. Today
The monitor is sitting there because I can't lift it, a friend put it there a couple weeks ago and was supposed to put it in the back of my closet before he left and forgot. The TP is because I can not get this child to understand its find to use TP for your nose but leave the darn roll in the bathroom! She gets a new roll out every time she wipes her nose. The Twinkies is not Twinkies, its the Twinkie baking pan grandma got me to make gluten free Twinkies for xmas. It doesn't have a home yet because I have yet to open the box and wash the pan and put it away. No I can't bring the plants to the sink, you can't see it on this side but there HUGE and need to be trimmed. Not quite sure what your thinking is a luggage rack but I do get your point.

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I have lived in really messy houses, so definitely BTDT. But, it is unreasonable to expect your 6y/o child to keep things clean and orderly if you don't. I doubt that she can reach to haphazardly throw things on top of the large white storage bin in the second pic, that she can freecycle the cream-colored bouncing chair in the second pic or the brightly-colored, mirrored toy in the first; both seem very age inappropriate for a 6 y/o.
Throw? I've busted her CLIMBING up there in 10 seconds flat to get something I've put up there. She grabs a chair to get on the freezer then on to the bins where she can reach up there. I'm still using the bouncy with my 7 mo old who has developmental delays and doesn't even roll over. Its kinda handy for things like taking showers and doing dishes



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If you saw pictures of my house, you'd see adult clutter. Why? I spend so much time doing damage control and cleaning up after little Ms. Destructo that time to declutter is worth more than gold.
ditto, by the time I've got 1 problem taken care of she's created 3 more!

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If we want clean clothes to wear we have to wash them, fold them, and put them away.
That's another problem, keeping them PUT AWAY. I can think of 5 different times this week she's taken all the clothes out of the dresser and out of the closet because she didn't want them there and finally decided they belonged in the toy dresser (she has 2 of those 3 drawer plastic things you can buy at Wal-Mart for a toy box to make it easier to keep her toys organized, dress up clothes in 1 drawer, games in another, ect) after leaving them all over my bed and hers.

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Those rooms look really dangerous.

How can you expect a six year old to care about her home and belongings if her mother doesn't care either? I see lots of expensive items tossed about and I doubt very seriously it was your daughter's doing.

A mess like that is certainly isolating. When was the last time either of you had company?

I'm going to take a shot in the very cluttered dark and say that you are experiencing symptoms of depression. I hope you get help; your family shouldn't have to live like that and neither should you.
I see your new to MDC so I'll cut you some slack for such a rude post. I DO CARE and I don't see any expensive items in those pictures. I haven't gotten anything expensive in ages because I have a child who breaks things a lot.


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i'm wondering, though, if your dd does this all the time if something else is going on with her. you said you were having to undecorate the tree at night because she would mess that up, too. that's a bit extreme. do you think it's just a personality thing or maybe a sensory issue? my dd1 will tell me when i clean up her room, "i LIKE it messy. i'm going to make it all messy again!" but i think she really likes it neat and plays in it more when i've picked up. she would totally not want to help clean up, but i don't think she would actively thwart my efforts to do so. maybe she resents the amount of time you spend cleaning and not playing with her? you said santa was going to help you with housekeeping in the new year. maybe that will help some.
She does have sensory issues but hasn't qualified for OT since she was 4 and exited EI. My dd is the same way, she creates these huge disasters but she actively thwarts my attempts to clean but yet she seems to enjoy playing in a clean space even more. I have repeatedly explained to her that if she stopped trashing the house and helped me clean up messes I would have a lot more time to spend with her. After the cleaning lady comes I swear I'm going to be the grinch and go though the house every night and what's left out automatically goes into storage for a while.

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maybe you could do some problem-solving with your dd? tell her how you feel when it's all messed up and cluttered and how you really can't deal with it and elicit her ideas of how to cope. you know the drill from "how to talk..."? make a list of all your ideas and all her ideas and ALL ideas are fair game so if she says, "throw it all aroud the room" you write down "throw it all around the room". when you've exhausted all of both of your ideas then you each get to strike through ideas until you can come up with some solutions that you are both willing to try. i find that sometimes doing this kind of problem-solving where i really write down my dd's ideas makes her feel empowered and listened to. if i'm not careful, though, she can feel patronized, so i have to approach it with an open mind and heart and squelch those ulterior motives.
Done that multiple times, she thinks its a grand idea in theory but when trying to put it into practice... like I said above, I've had root canals that were more pleasant.


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Also, if all of that mess was made by your 6-year-old, does she do it while you're there watching? I don't understand how she could have time to do this while you're not watching her.
Oh I don't know, taking a 5 minute shower? Changing the babies diaper, feeding the baby, making dinner, doing laundry, taking a pee? I can't keep her in my direct line of sight every second of the day and it only takes seconds for her to create disasters. I dread having to take a shower when she's awake because I know I'm going to come out to a mess and the only way she'd stay in the bathroom with me is if I hand cuffed her in there. Personally I think I should be able to leave a 6 yr old alone in the room for 5 minutes and not have to worry she's going to destroy it. I let her do a fun activity like playing a computer game or something and pray that she won't burn down the house while I do what ever as fast as possible.

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-put the laundry away right after folding; if that's not possible, store it temporarily in a closed container or put it on a surface the kid is less likely to want to use. The idea is to give her no excuse to get into the laundry.
-have the kid spend as little time as possible alone in a room so that she can't make a big mess before somebody calls her on it.
I've left it folded in the laundry basket but that just seems to invite her to dump it out so she can pretend the basket is a boat or something. She has no intrests in the basket unless it has clothes in it it seems. I try to keep my eye on her every second possible but I can't watch her every second of the day.


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I hope so. Her kid must have Herculean strength in order to move all the stuff I see in those pictures.

There a potted plant teetering very dangerously on the edge of the table. It looks like it was painted with love by little 6yo hands. Either it hurts someone physically when it lands on a head or a foot, or her DD's feelings get hurt because her mother couldn't be bothered to put it up.
My my my, arn't we just ASSuming everything? This is a kid who moves my washing machine to get into the cupboard I blocked with it to keep her out of it. The plant is NOT teetering, its several inches from the edge and its a 3in plastic pot that I had placed on the bedroom dresser and she decided that day it belonged in the living room and was trying to get me to allow her to bring it with us on our trip.

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I doubt that entire mess was made in a week.
It was.

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She didn't make mention that she's incapable of doing anything. She didn't say that she just wanted to vent. To me, that means that even if she can't do something about it nownownow she's wanting things to do once she can actually do something about it.
yes I was venting, I was frustrated, in tears and at my wits end after a bad week. Perhaps vents need to be marked such? I do appreciate the advice but it was mostly a post to keep me from blowing my lid from frustration.

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I mentioned one possibility that no one has acknowledged, which is that if you spend 2-3 hours a day picking up the messes a 6 year old makes and remakes, you don't have time to declutter or organize. I think it possible to believe these two things are both true: Satori's child has some serious behavior problems and that because of this (and the other factors in her life) the clutter has built up.
Exactly! and yes she does has some serious behavior problems, I lost it and decided I can't deal with her any more and hauled her butt down to mental health for help last week. She's a classic ADHD kid and she's got an authority problem too, I've done every thing I can think of, diet (which has helped a lot with the raging tantrums) different discipline techniques, all kinds of stuff and NOTHING works on this kid. I'm desperate for help with her and I've accepted that for MY mental health its time to medicate her. She's made my life very difficult the last 6 years, people say I must have my hands full with the baby but the truth is the baby is soooooo easy to care for compared to my 6 yr old! She takes 10x times more energy to deal with and the baby is high needs to that's saying a lot!


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It is not a moral failing to have something other than a spotless, anally organized and categorized home.
According to my mother it is!


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Some of us really are conceptually challenged when it comes to decluttering; I don't know where I'd be without DH get the ball rolling.
I'll freely admit to being conceptually challenged but this is out of control even to me.


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There have been some good suggestions on this thread, but the attacks (and psychiatric diagnosis -- wtf?) are really uncalled for, especially in light of the other factors.
I can see how someone might think I'm depressed but I'm not. Frustrated? yes Stressed out? yes depressed? no.

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If all that stuff wasn't crammed into such a small space, then her DD would not have the opportunity to overturn a computer monitor (which is obviously not in use, because Satori posted the picture on the internet), remove a lampshade, stack container upon container, etc...
Overturn a computer monitor? huh? Its not overturned, the lamp never had a shade because I haven't found one yet. The bins were and with the exception of the top bin still are neatly stacked.

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I absolutely stand by my advice to seek help for depression. Those pictures scream "HELP!".
They scream help me get my 6 yr old under control (I really don't need any comments from the TCS'ers out there)


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The OP and her kids are living in a pretty dangerous environment, IMO. She's not in the best physcial condition because of the accident. What if she tripped and fell? What if the baby pulled up on one of the many boxes and they tumbled to the floor? Satori said her daughter is pretty destructive; what if she (DD) climbed that bookshelf, as kids are prone to do?
The baby pulling up? She'll be 7 months old on the 1st and she doesn't even roll over! I think we got a while before she stands up. (and yes she has a million Dr's, its part of her syndrome so no I'm not neglecting her as I'm sure your going to suggest) My 6 yr old has climbed the shelves and we won't go there..

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It's hard especially when you have a ton of stuff. Satori, can you enlist some friends to help declutter and then have a large garbage can and a dontate can? If you have help, I bet it would go by pretty quick and it wouldn't feel so overwhelming. -I am projecting here, that is how I feel when it is time to declutter.
I'm going to do what I can while dd is still gung ho on pack up stuff and the organization lady will be here on Tuesday to get everything else taken care of

All that said, I'm going to bed! I've had about 3 hours sleep the last 3 nights and I'm dead tired!
post #52 of 108
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Originally Posted by Satori View Post
I want the nice polite kid who cleans too!)
Ooh, send me the formula when you find it!
post #53 of 108
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Originally Posted by LouCostello View Post
I honestly think Satori's DD's behavior is learned.
And you've come to that conclusion....how? :

My dd has SID (as Satori has mentioned her dd has). My dd does not exhibit the kind of behavior Satori has described on this thread, but she has had/has some other extreme behaviors (violent meltdowns, for example). LOTS of people assume it is "learned", and if only I would parent/respond the "right" way, she wouldn't act/have acted that way. Family, friends, people online. But you know what? They're wrong.

Satori, I wish I lived closer so I could help you out.
post #54 of 108
I figured most of the mess *was* caused by the six year old in question, but I wanted to wait and let Satori clarify. A determined six year old is strong enough and clever enough to do amazing things.

Ah, SID. My dd has has sensory issues up the wazoo.

I think most people who haven't experienced kids with these sort of differences have no idea what they're like, and what it is like to parent them. I almost never post about the challenges I face with dd because I really don't want to hear ridiculous lectures that miss the mark entirely.

I have cabinet locks on just about everything - not because of danger, but because that is the only way to keep things IN the cabinets. Now dd is mastering the art of moving chairs round to reach high places, and I have to decide if I'm going to add more cabinet locks or rearrange our cabinets and pray. I fear the idea of what she'll capable of in 3 years.
post #55 of 108
I do not think a messy home is a sign of morality or lack there of.

Purging and decluttering can help children as well adults. Esp if children are destructive or if adults have health issues.

Maybe getting a couple of firends to help pare down would limit the mess the child could make, and make it easier for the child to make fewer messes.

If there is less stuff, there's less opportunity. You can then have smaller messes to deal with.

But I don't think having a child with issues or having adulthealth issues makes someone bad or whatever is being read into this.
post #56 of 108
I have to be honest I think this was the age for me when my mother gave up on my room and just demanded we keep common areas neat. Not overly AP but at least we had our area to be messy in and then knew we'd have to pick up after ourselves should it spill over. And that was done by the threat of whatever was not being picked up would end up in the garbage. I think I only lost one toy but still.

I sort of hate to advocate that sort of thing but I think your dd's assumption that princess' don't pick up after themselves or the princesses have cleaning ladies is one that needs to stop. Make sure you're not fostering this belief. Maybe when you had a cleaning lady you were putting off things as well?

Good luck with the organizer. It seems like that would be a good time to make a clean sweep for your own organization and dd's and then enforce through natural consequences for both of you.
post #57 of 108
satori, again. i'm glad you came back to this thread to address people's ASSumptions because it really needed doing.

i am clutter challenged and it really is not the end of the world or the sign of somebody who needs mental help. abraham lincoln for one had an extremely messy desk with papers piled one on top of another . people seem to have no tolerance for clutter these days and i admit i would rather live w/o it myself, but just 'cause i've got things junked up a little doesn't mean i'm going to end up being one of the crazy cat ladies who has little paths through her house and cat feces all around. yikes! not saying anybody on this thread said that, but sometimes i get that vibe. while i'm definitely not anal about clutter and maybe can tolerate more than some folks i definitely do reach a point where it becomes intolerable. i think, though, that people just have different needs for neatness and to not recognize that is to be intolerant. sometimes true squalor can be a sign of mental illness, but there would be other signs, too.

i think if a poster says her kid does something we've got to start out with the ASSumption that she knows what she's talking about and not start making ASSumptions that it's her fault.

satori, maybe a thread in "special needs" or "gentle discipline" or the decluttering forum would get you more support.

.
post #58 of 108
I'm not as new to MDC as you think I am. Why did you come here for advice if all you were going to do is "Yes, but..."? I see your accident was a week ago and the monitor has been there for 2 weeks. A week is plenty of time to move it.

I still do not believe that is a kid's mess. That is why I think your DD's behavior is learned. And if she does have behavioral issues that lead her to destroy your home, then that stuff should have been outta there a year ago.

Your baby isn't rolling over, but she is a part of your family, no? If your DD has access to ALL that stuff and is throwing it about willy nilly, then your baby is in danger of getting hurt.

I doubt your 6yo heads to the flea market and amasses floor to celing stuff. The stuff is there in the first place. You said you live in a very small space.

If you have all the answers, which it seems you do, then why bother asking for advice?
post #59 of 108
Quote:
Originally Posted by Satori View Post
That's kid mess. Yes she lugged out the vacuum because it was in her way as she wanted into the closet trying to get something out that she wasn't supposed to have anyway. I fully owned up to the xmas stuff being my fault because I was PUTTING THEM AWAY while she was sleeping. The bins were neatly packed and ready to be hauled off to storage and she dug into the top one which is why its open. I don't own a stroller, its a car seat your seeing, I brought it in to wash the cover since she spilled her drink on it in the car. I haven't had time to drag the cover to the laundry mat to wash it and she's been dragging the seat all over the house playing with it. This is a kid who can move a portable clothes washer easier then I can, moving vacuums and car seats is not a big deal to her (although you'd think her shoes weighed a ton trying to get her to pick them up)



yep and she's often a light sleeper so opening a dresser will wake her up. I'm thinking maybe its time to move the dressers into the living room.




Done that many many times, it ends in my literally dragging her across the floor as she holds on to the item for dear life while I take it away. Its one on the reasons I save cleaning until she's asleep.





Because I can't put it away while she's sleeping without waking her up. Getting her to do it during the day, well, I've had root canals that were more fun and less stressful then getting her to help around the house.




See above. Although I did originally have the car seats stacked on the freezer next to the totes. She took them down to get into the totes. I have a storage unit and since Santa came she up and packed up all her toys and wants them to go there so tomorrow morning I'm hauling it off before she can change her mind! (we've been out of town for a couple days and just got back tonight or I would have done it sooner)




I have been trying to get this child to do chores since she was a toddler and she's flat out refused no matter what the consequences. Tells me either she's a princess and princesses don't clean up there messes or tells me to go get the cleaning lady to do it! We had someone to help keep things from looking like a bomb went off when I was working and could afford it (we haven't had someone in over a year but its never been this bad!). She thinks its her god given right to have a maid and my mom is literally a neat freak so she does know what clean is. She just freaks out when you start cleaning.




It sure feels like a pit! It is overwhelming and I I've just wanted to cry looking at it so when Santa asked what I wanted for xmas I told him a day with a professional organizer! I got my wish and she's coming on Tuesday



The monitor is sitting there because I can't lift it, a friend put it there a couple weeks ago and was supposed to put it in the back of my closet before he left and forgot. The TP is because I can not get this child to understand its find to use TP for your nose but leave the darn roll in the bathroom! She gets a new roll out every time she wipes her nose. The Twinkies is not Twinkies, its the Twinkie baking pan grandma got me to make gluten free Twinkies for xmas. It doesn't have a home yet because I have yet to open the box and wash the pan and put it away. No I can't bring the plants to the sink, you can't see it on this side but there HUGE and need to be trimmed. Not quite sure what your thinking is a luggage rack but I do get your point.



Throw? I've busted her CLIMBING up there in 10 seconds flat to get something I've put up there. She grabs a chair to get on the freezer then on to the bins where she can reach up there. I'm still using the bouncy with my 7 mo old who has developmental delays and doesn't even roll over. Its kinda handy for things like taking showers and doing dishes





ditto, by the time I've got 1 problem taken care of she's created 3 more!



That's another problem, keeping them PUT AWAY. I can think of 5 different times this week she's taken all the clothes out of the dresser and out of the closet because she didn't want them there and finally decided they belonged in the toy dresser (she has 2 of those 3 drawer plastic things you can buy at Wal-Mart for a toy box to make it easier to keep her toys organized, dress up clothes in 1 drawer, games in another, ect) after leaving them all over my bed and hers.



I see your new to MDC so I'll cut you some slack for such a rude post. I DO CARE and I don't see any expensive items in those pictures. I haven't gotten anything expensive in ages because I have a child who breaks things a lot.




She does have sensory issues but hasn't qualified for OT since she was 4 and exited EI. My dd is the same way, she creates these huge disasters but she actively thwarts my attempts to clean but yet she seems to enjoy playing in a clean space even more. I have repeatedly explained to her that if she stopped trashing the house and helped me clean up messes I would have a lot more time to spend with her. After the cleaning lady comes I swear I'm going to be the grinch and go though the house every night and what's left out automatically goes into storage for a while.



Done that multiple times, she thinks its a grand idea in theory but when trying to put it into practice... like I said above, I've had root canals that were more pleasant.




Oh I don't know, taking a 5 minute shower? Changing the babies diaper, feeding the baby, making dinner, doing laundry, taking a pee? I can't keep her in my direct line of sight every second of the day and it only takes seconds for her to create disasters. I dread having to take a shower when she's awake because I know I'm going to come out to a mess and the only way she'd stay in the bathroom with me is if I hand cuffed her in there. Personally I think I should be able to leave a 6 yr old alone in the room for 5 minutes and not have to worry she's going to destroy it. I let her do a fun activity like playing a computer game or something and pray that she won't burn down the house while I do what ever as fast as possible.



I've left it folded in the laundry basket but that just seems to invite her to dump it out so she can pretend the basket is a boat or something. She has no intrests in the basket unless it has clothes in it it seems. I try to keep my eye on her every second possible but I can't watch her every second of the day.




My my my, arn't we just ASSuming everything? This is a kid who moves my washing machine to get into the cupboard I blocked with it to keep her out of it. The plant is NOT teetering, its several inches from the edge and its a 3in plastic pot that I had placed on the bedroom dresser and she decided that day it belonged in the living room and was trying to get me to allow her to bring it with us on our trip.



It was.



yes I was venting, I was frustrated, in tears and at my wits end after a bad week. Perhaps vents need to be marked such? I do appreciate the advice but it was mostly a post to keep me from blowing my lid from frustration.



Exactly! and yes she does has some serious behavior problems, I lost it and decided I can't deal with her any more and hauled her butt down to mental health for help last week. She's a classic ADHD kid and she's got an authority problem too, I've done every thing I can think of, diet (which has helped a lot with the raging tantrums) different discipline techniques, all kinds of stuff and NOTHING works on this kid. I'm desperate for help with her and I've accepted that for MY mental health its time to medicate her. She's made my life very difficult the last 6 years, people say I must have my hands full with the baby but the truth is the baby is soooooo easy to care for compared to my 6 yr old! She takes 10x times more energy to deal with and the baby is high needs to that's saying a lot!




According to my mother it is!




I'll freely admit to being conceptually challenged but this is out of control even to me.




I can see how someone might think I'm depressed but I'm not. Frustrated? yes Stressed out? yes depressed? no.



Overturn a computer monitor? huh? Its not overturned, the lamp never had a shade because I haven't found one yet. The bins were and with the exception of the top bin still are neatly stacked.



They scream help me get my 6 yr old under control (I really don't need any comments from the TCS'ers out there)




The baby pulling up? She'll be 7 months old on the 1st and she doesn't even roll over! I think we got a while before she stands up. (and yes she has a million Dr's, its part of her syndrome so no I'm not neglecting her as I'm sure your going to suggest) My 6 yr old has climbed the shelves and we won't go there..



I'm going to do what I can while dd is still gung ho on pack up stuff and the organization lady will be here on Tuesday to get everything else taken care of

All that said, I'm going to bed! I've had about 3 hours sleep the last 3 nights and I'm dead tired!

what are tcs'ers?

I am trying to figure out if it has something to do with medication or spanking....
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Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › WWYD of your child did this to your home EVERY DAY?