WWYD of your child did this to your home EVERY DAY? - Page 4

[numom499]

okay...thanks.

[*~Member~*]

I still do not believe that is a kid's mess. That is why I think your DD's behavior is learned. And if she does have behavioral issues that lead her to destroy your home, then that stuff should have been outta there a year ago.

I have to step in here. I have an Autistic 3 year old and the mess Satori pictured my 3 year old can do that same kind of damage in about 15 minutes if I let her. I clean my house 3-4 times DAILY and I'll have to get some before and after pictures for everyone. Thank God we have a basement where everything is stored now but it was not always the case

*HUGS for Satori*

[Amylcd]

That's another problem, keeping them PUT AWAY. I can think of 5 different times this week she's taken all the clothes out of the dresser and out of the closet because she didn't want them there and finally decided they belonged in the toy dresser (she has 2 of those 3 drawer plastic things you can buy at Wal-Mart for a toy box to make it easier to keep her toys organized, dress up clothes in 1 drawer, games in another, ect) after leaving them all over my bed and hers.

Buy locks. My DD had the same problem. We had to put locks on all the closets (including mine), and dressers to keep her out.

[Satori]

Originally Posted by Amylcd

Buy locks. My DD had the same problem. We had to put locks on all the closets (including mine), and dressers to keep her out.

My question is how?? Both dressers belonged to my deceased great grandmothers and are well built antiques and I'm worried about destroying them. Is there some way to lock them without padlocking them? She's already messed up the finishes but I don't want to be putting in visible holes.

[UUMom]

Do you think your 6 yr old might be bored? Is she autistic?

I'll go back to your orginal question. If it were me, I would, simultaneously, purge and organize, and try to get to the root of the child's destruction, which would probably take a while.

I'm sure it's difficult. It's probably going to help some to get the area in order with the organizer. Try to set it up in such a way that it won't take 3 hours a day to tidy, if her challenges prevent her from not doing what she's doing.

Seriously, when I purge and declutter, everything in the house seems to flow better. (At least for a time. lol) With growing children, it's an ongoing process. They outgrow things, stuff gets broken, they lose interest in some toys or other supplies etc.

[Tigerchild]

We had to jury rig stuff for quite awhile. I ended up glue-gunning a tight buckle strap to two non-marking foam sticky things (they're supposed to be used for hanging pictures and hooks without damaging the wall) for some drawers. Some we did finally break down and put drawer locks in (the kind that attach to the inside of the drawer that a lot of people use for drawers and cabinets in the kitchen). One Step Ahead sells adhesive drawer locks, which have stood up to 3 kids on the prowl for the last 3 years.

It's very frustrating, because especially with dressers, they won't always work (hence the jury-rigging). I aimed for things that would hold up for 5 minutes and would be cheap/easy to replace (and I always made/had extras). I'm not sure if the drawer locks would work for a six-year old (though even I still get frustrated/annoyed trying to open them, so *maybe*).

[kittn]

Originally Posted by Satori

My question is how?? Both dressers belonged to my deceased great grandmothers and are well built antiques and I'm worried about destroying them. Is there some way to lock them without padlocking them? She's already messed up the finishes but I don't want to be putting in visible holes.

what does the dresser look like. the handles? give me an idea. I may be able to come up with something

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by Alisteal

I have to step in here. I have an Autistic 3 year old and the mess Satori pictured my 3 year old can do that same kind of damage in about 15 minutes if I let her. I clean my house 3-4 times DAILY and I'll have to get some before and after pictures for everyone. Thank God we have a basement where everything is stored now but it was not always the case

*HUGS for Satori*

Uh, huh. DD can do an amazing amount in a very short time when she's in the right mood to do so.

A previous poster said something about a child not being physically able to do some of these things. I have a 5-year-old nephew who has been able to push his bed across the room since just before his fourth birthday. The bed is a large bunk bed, and the floor is carpeted, not smooth. He has to work at it - but he can do it. He can also scale the bed, even with the ladder off, and pull the mattress off of the top bunk. Kids are capable of a lot more than we sometimes give them credit for.

[LouCostello]

If there are behavioral issues with your DD, then don't accumulate more stuff than you have room to store. If the dressers can't be locked, then store them in a unit and buy something that can be locked and bolted to the wall.

Your DD may make the mess, but you have ultimate control of the situation. If it means getting a storage unit and getting down to the bare bones of your belongings, then so be it.

I am not trying to be mean or unsupportive. Not at all.

Best of luck to you.

[LouCostello]

Originally Posted by Storm Bride

Kids are capable of a lot more than we sometimes give them credit for.

They certainly are. But kids don't bring all that stuff into a home in the first place. I don't think her DD is sitting idly by while Satori herself makes the mess. But I really do think that Satori is blaming her DD for a mess her DD did not ultimately cause.

[Dechen]

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by LouCostello

If there are behavioral issues with your DD, then don't accumulate more stuff than you have room to store. If the dressers can't be locked, then store them in a unit and buy something that can be locked and bolted to the wall.

Your DD may make the mess, but you have ultimate control of the situation. If it means getting a storage unit and getting down to the bare bones of your belongings, then so be it.

I think this makes a lot of assumptions about Satori's situation. I could do all these things right now, if I needed to. Five years ago, I couldn't have bought a new dresser to save my life. I certainly couldn't have afforded to pay for outside storage. I also didn't have a car or a driver's license, so moving things around wasn't exactly straightforward.

I don't know if any of this applies to Satori, but I don't know that it doesn't, either.

Incidentally...dd could make my place look like that in about half an hour - we're a little over-cluttered, but there are plenty of legitimate things that she can get into (eg. dragging a chair over to open the closet where we keep brooms, Christmas decorations, cat litter, etc., etc., etc.) to wreak havoc on the house. I can't imagine what she'll be like by the time she's six. I can also remember my mom talking about nursing me while sitting on a chair against my brother's bedroom door, because if she nursed me for 10 minutes without supervising him, it would take easily an hour to clean up the mess. Some kids have a tremendous gift for turning things upside-down in short order.

[Satori]

Originally Posted by kittn

what does the dresser look like. the handles? give me an idea. I may be able to come up with something

The batteries in my camera died last night but I could swear I have a picture of the dressors so you can see what they look like. I'll look tonight because I would love to be able to limit her access to them.

[Satori]

Originally Posted by kittn

what does the dresser look like. the handles? give me an idea. I may be able to come up with something

Found a pic! Took it after our last major decluttering clean up a year ago.

http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a3...h/DSCF0233.jpg

[Satori]

Since I'm sure no one believes I can clean my house this is what one of the corners looks like when clean when dd is not home to destroy it

http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a3...h/DSCF0267.jpg

thats this corner
http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a3...h/DSCF0330.jpg

[3_opihi]

LOL, poor Satori. I do understand what you mean...I live in a teeny house and I have THREE kids who do that. It only takes a few things to get out of place and it looks like a bomb went off in my house.

A couple ideas - can you store those big rubbermaid bins anywhere else besides the living room? THose would be too tempting for my kids to get into and toss all over the house.

Also, try and get some locks for those big cabinets. If your dd is really as destructive as you say, it might be good to get locks for as much as you can.

It might help her to have her own little corner of stuff, if you can manage. Make it up like a special little space for her - a little corner with a small table and chair, some dolls or bears and books things that are special to her. If she can get into the habit of being mindful about caring for her OWN little space, then eventually you can move onto the bigger picture of her own house.

And lastly, and I'm saying this gently, because I'm going through it too - it's SO hard when you are on your own with a baby and a six year old. Do you think some of this might be acting out to get attention? Like I said, I say this gently, cause I am a single mama too, and I KNOW what it's like. Maybe try the above suggestion about her own little space and see how that works out. If she can feel special, and like she has purpose then she might calm down (not that she doesn't, but you know)

I work at an integrated preschooll, and one thing I do know about the sensory/autistic kids is that they do need focus...I don't want to say structure so much, but they need clearly organized, calm and defined spaces or else they can get totally out of control.

Sending a huge hug!!!

[Satori]

[QUOTE=3_opihi;6871863]

And lastly, and I'm saying this gently, because I'm going through it too - it's SO hard when you are on your own with a baby and a six year old. Do you think some of this might be acting out to get attention? Like I said, I say this gently, cause I am a single mama too, and I KNOW what it's like. [\QUOTE]

I've been waiting for someone to suggest this. She's been like this from day 1, she's just one of those intense kids who's more more more. You give her 100% and she demands 200% no matter what is it. Oddly enough today was a pretty good day ( I can't remember her last good day ), she didn't turn into a monster child until bed time.

[mothragirl]

Originally Posted by Satori

Found a pic! Took it after our last major decluttering clean up a year ago.

http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a3...h/DSCF0233.jpg

she looks so cute and innocent
i would get rid of every single thing you don't need. we've been doing it because my toddler can create a giant mess too, and i'm sure as she gets older it will get worse. pick up every single item in your house and decide if you need it or not. figure out a way to lock everything else up. good luck!

[ericswifey27]

I'm sorry you have been getting a lot of mean comments. Try to focus on some of the more understanding comments mixed in I guess I can relate because I am sooo disorganized. My mom is a neatfreak, but it didn't rub off on me...which in some ways is good, others it's not so good.

About locks for the antique cabinets, I just got this catalog in the mail from One Step Ahead, no idea why- I've never bought anything from them lol. but anyway they have locks that apply with really strong self adhesive instead of screws: That might work for locking up some of those drawers and cabinets. They have a version that's the typical plastic arm thingy you push down to open (dd could probably figure that one out though) and then they have MAGNETIC ones where you have a magnetic key that you could keep somewhere hidden from dd, and then when you need it you wave it in front of the spot where you installed the other matching magnet, and voila, the door opens!

I can't wait to show the catalog to hubby too. We need some of those- he drilled a hole through one of our kitchen cabinets installing a lock

Good luck!

[3_opihi]

[QUOTE=Satori;6871948]

Originally Posted by 3_opihi

And lastly, and I'm saying this gently, because I'm going through it too - it's SO hard when you are on your own with a baby and a six year old. Do you think some of this might be acting out to get attention? Like I said, I say this gently, cause I am a single mama too, and I KNOW what it's like. [\QUOTE]

I've been waiting for someone to suggest this. She's been like this from day 1, she's just one of those intense kids who's more more more. You give her 100% and she demands 200% no matter what is it. Oddly enough today was a pretty good day ( I can't remember her last good day ), she didn't turn into a monster child until bed time.

Ok, I'm sorry You asked what people would do if their child did this to their home every day, and I tried to give a few suggestions.

I think we can all sit here and guess why, and offer suggestions, but you and only you know what is right and why your dd does these things. So, unless you feel like enlightening us, we can all sit here and make educated guesses. Sure, some kids are just "like that". But that means you've got to find some coping skills, some strategies. I'm really not trying to be harsh. I think you've gotten a lot of good advice in this thread.

I'll state again - and I don't know your situation - intense kids have a REALLY hard time in chaotic/disorganized/cluttered environments. It really really aggravates things for them. It's like they already have a hard time getting all their synapses to calm down internally and when things externally are jumpy and cluttered and noisy then it just railroads into craziness. So I think if you want your dd to be calm and peaceful, then you need to have a calm and peaceful environment for her.

I'm not trying to be mean! You started a thread asking for advice, and you are getting advice. Alot of people aren't sugarcoating it for you - I don't think it's hurtful, but it might be something you just don't want or aren't in a spot to hear right now. I've been there before.