I think that men and women are different, and we should celebrate these differences, as opposed to showing how alike we are. We're not alike; we're different for good reasons. Women are biologically programmed for taking care and nurturing young (we have the breasts ). I also believe men have an innate desire to care for and provide for thier families. I feel that these differences are what make us great. That's not to say that every dad must work and every mom must stay at home. I work outside of the home, and DH watches the baby two days a week. I just think that we have obvious differences; they're there for a reason, and we should celebrate it, not try to ignore or forget about those differences.
I think that people are different, and I'm more interested in finding out what interests my kids, and working with that, than I am in telling dd that her job is looking after her family, and telling ds1 that it's his job to provide for his. I provided for my son for years - I did both the 'male' job of bringing home a paycheque and the 'female' job of nurturing.
I do think that, in general, women are more nurturing and empathetic, while men are more solution focussed. I'm not interested in trying to prove that men are the same as women. But, I'm also not interested in trying to emphasize, teach or celebrate gender differences...because I think that's how the innate differences between most men and most women become cultural/societal rules. I don't want to be part of making a sensitive boy or aggressive girl feel like even more of a freak than they already do. DH says that men have a love of power tools built into the Y chromosome. That may be true, but I'll be damned if I'm going to "teach" those rules to ds1. That's just setting him up to feel like he's less of a man if he doesn't fit into the norm for his gender.
As far as clothes go...dd wears a lot of 'girl stuff', but nothing really over-the-top with pink and frills, just because I can't stand that stuff. She also wears a lot of hand-me-downs from her big brother, including Spider-Man and Garfield sweatsuits and various other 'boy' clothes. I don't think she really knows the difference. DS2 has 'boy' clothes, mostly - but right now, he's wearing a red t-shirt with a frog on it. I'd have bought the same for dd.