raleigh_mom, about travel, here you need either parental consent or a court order to leave the state. Visitations with birthparents can prevent you from getting an order, or even having the social worker seek one...but it depends on the situation and the permanency plan for the child. If the permanency plan for the child doesn't involve reunification with birthparents, travel is generally okay. When ds was still my dfs, we were able to travel without any problems. With dfd, we did take a trip with her, but it was harder to get the social worker to seek the order after birthmother refused to sign off (birthfather was all in favor of us taking the trip with her though), not because it interfered with visitations (it didn't), but because for some reason the social worker got it in her head that the judge wouldn't approve the order due to dfd's age (even though when we traveled with ds, he was even younger, and we had no trouble). With my other foster kidos, I have never done any out of state travel.
lovebug, congrats on your decision to do this! I think it is great that you have really researched and figured out what will be a good match for you. And I am totally in support of your decision to do longterm care (when you say that, what exactly are you picturing?). I still think taking a short term placement or two for your first placements can be really helpful because you get a feel for different social workers and for the way your agency functions. My first placement was a "permanent placement" that went south (as in, child was moved even though it was not in the child's best interests and we had been assured that child wouldn't be moved) partly because of the people involved. It was a really, really, really painful time. I still cry sometimes when I think of it. Had I known more about the social worker, I probably would have thought twice before taking a placement of a child in her caseload. I also might have switched agencies earlier had I known more about how the director of the agency functioned in *reality* (the face she showed during licensing and during our first six months of doing care were totally, totally different than how she ended up really being...she since was forced to resign because of her behaviors, but I never would have guessed that was her future when we were in the process of getting licensed and started parenting because at the time I adored her).
But even from a less drastic standpoint, the more placements we took along the way, the more we knew the ins and outs of the system and how to function within it. I am so glad that our ds (then dfs) didn't come to us earlier on in our foster parenting journey because the foster-adopt roller coaster would have been a lot harder. And dfd's case is even more complicated, so thank goodness we have done it once before.
Anyway, take it or leave it. But after we switched agencies (from a private agency to the state), while we waited for a foster-adopt placement, we took a placement of an eight year old girl that was always meant to be very short term. Having her for a little less than a month was great. It eased the wait for our foster-adopt placement, giving us someone to focus our energies on. It was fun because we didn't really have to worry about the future. *And* it got our names out in the DCFS office so people could really get to know us. Her going back home was a very happy occassion for us. We had always known it would be short term, so we approached it like we were babysitting in a lot of ways. We were able to not get too emotionally attached, with no trouble at all...as much as we adored her (we actually still stay in contact with her). Also, we were able to be a mentor for her mother and even though we know her mom isn't perfect, we know that the two of them love one another very much. It was less than two weeks after that little one left when we got our foster-adopt call.
So, just a thought.
Other advice? Well, I have tons. What type are you looking for? If it helps you, here is my background:
My dw and I have been foster parents for about five years. We first foster parented through a private agency. In our state, the Department of Children's and Family Services handles the vast majority of foster care cases. However, they contract out to private agencies the care of children with high/therapeutic foster care needs. This way they can have higher case loads for state workers, and lower case loads for kids who really need more of the social worker. Anyway, so our first agency was a therapeutic agnecy for older kids and teens. And we basically started out with them because before we even got licensed, they had a "permanent placement" for us. After he moved, we did respite care with them for a while, and then we ended up switching over to the state, getting an adoptive homestudy, and doing both short term care (including emergency placements) and foster-adoptive placements.
ds, then dfs, was placed with us at 1.5 days old while still in the hospital. We adopted him 13 months later. We now have dfd, who was placed with us at 6 months old. We are waiting to see what will happen with her case, though she was placed with us specifically because it was looking like her case plan was going to become adoption. Indeed, the situation continues to look poor for reunification, though you never know (if there is one thing I have learned, it is that no matter what someone says, unless you have legally adopted a child, there are never any guarantees when it comes to the future of their placement). The first termination hearing is this week.
