or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Parenting Multiples › Another stranger comment
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Another stranger comment - Page 3

post #41 of 70
Originally Posted by nathansmom View Post
How about "are they real twins?" I'm not sure how to answer that one. Maybe I should say well one is fake and one is real. :
Or you could say that they're imaginary. That ought to shut them up.
post #42 of 70
I had a guy yesterday come up behind me and go
"whoa. Are they brothers and sisters?"
Me - "yes"
"wow. All at the same time?"
Me - "yes"
Me - "yes" (while trying not to just bust out laughing)
"wow. I bet you get sick of people making stupid comments, huh?"
Me - "um.."

post #43 of 70
At least he recognized his own awkwardness!
post #44 of 70
Originally Posted by kangamom View Post
My older two are 2 years apart and I've always been asked if they are twins. Now I get asked if I have 2 sets of twins. The girls look like they are sisters, but no way twins, IMO. The oldest one is a good 4 inches taller than her sister. One time a girl was eyeballing the twins (who are b/g and look nothing alike, btw) and i could see the gears rolling around and finally she says, "how far apart are they?" and I said, "oh, about 8 minutes." And she gave me this look of total confusion. I said, "They are twins." Forehead smack.

None of the twin comments I've recieved can top the one my friend and I got when my dd #2 was first born. She was about 7 or 8 months pg with her ds and holding my newborn dd in a store. She was VERY big and very obviously pg. Somebody came up and asked her how oldher baby was, lol. She's like, 'um... she's not my baby but she is x weeks old...'
Funny I had both those situations. I have two older girls and everyone asks wow you have two sets of twins!!?? And when I was pregnant with my twins and pretty huge I was holding my nephew who was 5 mos old and someone asked so what will the age difference be between you babies. DuH...we often take our nephew with us and he a little short for his age so the comments I get now is wow you have triplets.
post #45 of 70
I'm glad to know that I'm not the only person getting funny comments!

I have b/g twins, and I can't count the number of times people ask me if they are identical after hearing that one is a boy and one is a girl. : After I said that they were fraternal, one person asked how they could be fraternal if one is a girl. : :

What's funny is that I frequently get a two-pronged, completely contradictory response from other women when they find out I have infant twins. First they say, "Twins! How wonderful! I always wanted twins". Then they immeidately say, "Oh, you poor thing!".
post #46 of 70
Am I the only one who gets really super irritated when people say "ooh, I hope I have twins" or "Oh, my kids are less than 2 years apart, so its just like having twins" or something else along those lines??? : I always say, "Well, wishing for twins is the easiest part." But i say it fairly sarcastic, so it really sounds like "ARE YOU CRAZY???" I mean, I love my babies desprately and I am SO happy and thankful and blessed. I know what a miracle I have. But I would not wish twins on anyone. Nobody understands what it is really like or how hard it is to live with multis unless you actually have them.

And I just want to shake people when they ask me if they are identical. I just want to say, "Um, so have you actually LOOKED at them??"
post #47 of 70
That doesn't irratate me. I said it before I got pregnant, I've said it since I was two. And I would still say it. I did always hope and wish for twins. I got them (plus one!) and it's the best thing that's ever happened to me.

Now the "I kind of have twins" thing would drive me crazy.
post #48 of 70
I always wished for twins too, and although it's super hard I still feel like I won the lottery getting them.

Lately I've been having a lot of strangers ask me if having twins is hard. I'm like, "Uh, yeah." Does anyone expect me to say that it's easy???
post #49 of 70
I didnt mean to sound ungrateful or like I don't consider it a great blessing. It is the best thing that has ever happened to me as well. My point was simply that I feel like the struggles and challenges I face on a daily basis are taken for granted by people who don't have to face the same challenges. But such is the life of a mother.

And, I never wished for twins. I would see twins in the mall or wherever we were and think, "oh, they are cute, I'm so glad that will never be me." There was a moment I thought I was having twins when i was pg with dd #2, and I thought that it would be cool, but really, I just thought that because I didn't *really* believe I was having twins.
post #50 of 70
Hi ladies!

How do you all deal with the rude comments? I'll have to read back a few pages but I'm short on time since my twins will be up soon.

Do you just keep walking? Retort with something snippy yourself? I always get the "I bet your hands are full" and my usual comeback is "better full than empty". I've had some downright nasty comments lately, like:

Twins? That's grounds for suicide!
Twins? That's what happens when you play god with those drugs!
Twins? Oh god, I'd kill myself.

The attention was bad when they were brand new, waned for a few months, and now that they are babbling and more interactive we literally have to plow a path through people who stop in their tracks, drop their jaws and stare like they are seeing little green men.
post #51 of 70
Originally Posted by pitter_patter View Post
Hi ladies!
I always get the "I bet your hands are full" and my usual comeback is "better full than empty".
I have to remember that one! I give my dog a nice, long walk each day while wearing my boys in two Over The Shoulder Baby Holders. Not a lot of people wear there babies around here, so I'm a pretty crazy sight to most people (honestly, I'm surprised I haven't caused a traffic accident with the way people stare from their cars-- sometimes they have even stopped in the middle of the street to talk to me!). Virtually every single person who stops to say something says "you've got your hands full". I just force a laugh and keep walking but it gets so old.

I try to be sympathetic to these ignorant people because I once wasn't much different from them (I didn't ask stupid questions or act like an expert on multiples, though!). When I was first pregnant I thought to myself several times "Thank god I'm not having twins!" Or "I feel so bad for people who have twins" and I would see twins and think (not ever say out loud) "So glad that's not me!" Well, the universe has a way of making me put my foot in my mouth on a pretty regular basis! Now I actually feel a little bit sorry for singleton moms-- it doesn't look like nearly as much fun.
post #52 of 70
It's amazing what people will say isn't it? I can't really say I've gotten any horribly rude comments, the 'hands full' comment is pretty standard and I did have an older woman (70's) say, "now that's what my mother would have called a 'glutton for punishment'" to which I replied, "well, we call it 'lucky'".

I did have a man tell me last weekend that having twins isn't twice as hard as having one. I kind of laughed and he said, "I know, my wife is a twin" Huh?!? Umm, so since she's a twin she knows what it's like to raise twins? Hmmm...interesting.
post #53 of 70
When I was pg with the twins, I would get a LOT of vasectomy comments/questions. Everyone seemed to think it was their buisness. I had one person actually tell me that my dh and I needed to "get another hobby" and one of my dh's co-workers told him we needed to get a bigger TV in our bedroom. One time I was walking with my dd #2 and the twins down a walking trail by our house. There was these two creepy guys just sitting there on the ground. I planned to just walk right past them but they started talking to my dd. I'm a bit overprotective of my dds, and my hackles get REALLY raised when random childless men just come up and start talking to us. He looked at my three children and then he looked at me and said, "So, I know what you like to do... he he he." UGH! SO GROSS. I was so shocked I just said, "ok, lets go!" and huffed right out of there. It was so sick.
post #54 of 70

"Now you can be done"

I have 4 month old b/g twins and I'm really getting tired of people saying... 'oh how perfect...you got your boy and girl in one bang...now you can be done'. So I guess the 'ideal family' is one boy-one girl and then you're susposed to call it quits? This is really getting to me lately...plus DH doesn't want any more kids ! I'm still very much grieving all my losses with my challenging pregnancy , my c-section , the 5 weeks in the NICU ...so to be constantly told & reminded that "I'm done" is just gut stabbing:. Plus, the OB actually told me not to have any more d/t my severe complications with their birth.

post #55 of 70
My most irritating comment actually didn't come from a stranger, but my MIL. When we called to tell her we found out it was twins she cried "Oh! God answered my prayers!" I am quite certain she really meant that she had really been praying for me to have twins! She had been obsessed with the idea of me having twins since dh and I started dating because she thought it would be great for each grandma to have a baby to hold! She admitted herself that she wasn't even considering the fact that *I* would have to gestate these twins, be on bedrest, have a miserable labor, birth them and care for them on my own.

That said, though, I also hate the "well now you're done" or, even better, "that was smart-- get it all over in one shot/get it over with all at once". It is just so presumptive of people!

We should all just start a multiples village where we can all live together and NOT stare at each other when we're out with our families, where we can go shopping and NOT allot an extra half hour for comments and conversations with strangers and where people DON'T say stupid/insulting things to us!
post #56 of 70
DoubleLove (((HUGS)))
My pregnancy was easy but the labor and delivery were very rough and I too was advised to not have more children. I am still grieving our decision to not have more. My husband had a vasectomy three months ago. I have PCOS and had to resort to fertility treatments and I feel like my body has betrayed me twice. Once by not being able to get pregnant on my own, and again by not allowing me to have more children. We are going to look into adoption or fostering when the kids are 5 or 6. I wish you lots of luck in reconciling your feelings, and remember to cherish your beautiful children!
post #57 of 70
Oh, I got this comment yesterday which reminded me that I had heard it once before: "They look like they could be twins!" What did you THINK they were? People are strange.
post #58 of 70
Originally Posted by fivi2 View Post
I get the paternal/maternal question all the time! What do they mean? And how do you answer it? I have gotten from a twin mom too - I have no clue how to respond to that. (without being insulting).
Assuming they are not complete dimwits confusing "fraternal" and "identical" with "maternal" and "paternal," I guess you could argue that boys are "paternal twins" in the limited sense that they share an identical, nonrecombined Y-chromosome, and girls are "maternal twins" in the sense that they share an identical, nonrecombined mitochondrial DNA molecule with their mothers.

Somehow, though, I think they're just dimwits.

One off-topic question, though -- What is the purpose of genetic testing for multiples?
post #59 of 70
Originally Posted by Meg Murry. View Post
One off-topic question, though -- What is the purpose of genetic testing for multiples?
To determine zygosity.
post #60 of 70
Originally Posted by 2+twins View Post
Oh, I got this comment yesterday which reminded me that I had heard it once before: "They look like they could be twins!" What did you THINK they were? People are strange.
I got this one once-

Them: "How old are the babies?"

Me: "X months old"

Them- "Both of them??"
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Parenting Multiples
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Parenting Multiples › Another stranger comment