1st Pregnancy

[nikkihoi]

Hello Mamma's!
I thought I would start this thread for those of us who are pregnant for the first time and at a loss as to where to begin. There are so many books, to do's and not to do's. When to tell family, etc.
Also, how do we help our DH or DP's prepare as well. I believe my DH is still but he's being very sweet.
I would love to hear from the 1st timers as well as the experianced Mamma's out there.
Thank you!

[sanguine_speed]

Congrats on your first pregnancy! I had a great first pregnancy; I worked retail and was on my feet up until the last day with no discomfort. I felt great! Except for the intermittent gallbladder attacks. I hope you have the same kind of pregnancy (minus the gallbladder issues!).
Two things I had wished I had known with my first:
1. preeclampsia is more common with the first than subsequent pregnancies and has been loosely correlated with excessive weight gain (I had this and was induced at 38 weeks).
2. if you have sharp pain at the bottom of your ribs on the right side, it might *not* just be baby's feet. It's not uncommon for women to get gall stones during pregnancy. This was overlooked even though I had reverberating back pain to the point of sobbing and being hospitalized for potentially being in early labour! My mother had the same thing. It wasn't until after delivery when I still had the pain that they investigated and I had my gallbladder removed. Again, gallbladder disease is also associated with high fat intake and weight gain.
I gained about 50 pounds with my first, and was not overweight to begin with. I would have been more conscientious about my eating and activity levels if I'd have known that these things might have been prevented.

[dctexan]

This is my first too. Can someone guide me to a list of pregnancy no-nos? I don't have any books yet. I did figure out (a couple of days after my ) that SweetNLow is BAD...ooops. Any other things like that I should be avoiding?

[sanguine_speed]

This is a tough one. I have forgotten a lot of stuff. I would totally recommend finding a good reference book for that stuff.

In general, the stuff I remember is:

-avoid certain fish like shark, tuna, swordfish and others with high mercury levels.

-certain types of tea (?).

-chemicals in general (so artificial sweeteners, food additives like artifical colours and flavours).

-luncheon meats and soft cheeses (nitrates and listeria)?

-definitely hot dogs (all kinds of cr*p in those including nitrates).

If I find a good reference book I'll let you know.

I also heard on MDC that green tea can inhibit folic acid absorption so to reduce consumption or use the tea as far as possible away from your prenatal.

[Sabo]

I think that americanpregnancy.org has some information about foods to avoid. Unfortunately, I just went to check, but I couldn't access the site right now.

ETA: I just looked at their website in the pregnancy wellness section there are food tips. I think they tend to be a bit more liberal in what they allow than we would be, but it gives some useful info.

So, what books would be best for a 1st time mom? Any other tips?

[nikkihoi]

Yes, which books? There are plenty of 'birthing' books and I want to read them but it seems a little premature. Any suggestions would be great!

[sanguine_speed]

Originally Posted by Sabo

So, what books would be best for a 1st time mom? Any other tips?

The book I have is called "Your Vegetarian Pregnancy". It's great for non-meat stuff, but obviously doesn't talk much about meats.

[arelyn]

Originally Posted by sanguine_speed

The book I have is called "Your Vegetarian Pregnancy". It's great for non-meat stuff, but obviously doesn't talk much about meats.

I totally forgot that I found this book at a library used book sale and bought it on a whim a couple summers ago. I'll have to go find it now that I need it!!

Go find the Mothering magazine pregnancy issue (Sept/Oct). I checked it out from the library and loved it. It has a great article on eating right and is so user friendly that DH even read it!!

[beckyphry]

Another first timer here!

I have the Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy and I think it's great so far!! What I like are the charts that list common ailments and what to call the doctor/midwife for, since I'm sure I'll be like "oh no! What was that little twinge!" all the time.

[kristen1978]

reference book

A great reference book to look for is Wise Woman Herbal for the Childbearing Year by Susun Weed. There is a LOT out there on foods, herbs, vitamins, etc, but probably not enough (at least in the mainstream) on environmental hazards, so I suggest looking into these as well (household cleaners, hair dye, paint) -- or at just use only the botanical stuff.

Another book to look for: The Expectant Mother's Guide to Prescription and Non-Perscription Drugs, Vitamins, Home Remedies, and Herbal Products by Donald Sullivan, PhD

Hope this helps!

[hazeleyes]

The book that I really liked when I was pregnant was "Conception, Pregnancy & Birth" by Dr. Miriam Stoppard. Hope this helps...

Congratulations Ladies!!

[multiplemomma78]

Some advice.....okay a lot of advice.....

Congratulations!

1. go to www.blueribbonbaby.org for information on what your diet should look like and how to avoid Preeclampsia.

2. Stay active. brisk walking, yoga and swimming are great types of excercise.

3. Don't bother with "What to expect....." There are much better books out there that are focused on a more natural pregnancy and birth (if that's what you are looking for). The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth is a good one by Henci Goer.

4. Get a doula!!

5. Pick the doctor that has the same views on pregnancy and birth that you do. You need to have absolute trust in your care provider-and if you don't you can change docs at ANY time. I did at 36 weeks. no big deal and your doc will not call you and ask you why you left.....blah, blah, blah. You are not hurting his feelings. He/she works for you and you have to be comfortable.

6. See a chiropractor early and often, if possible.

7. Take a childbirth class-and not the one offered by the hospital. If you can't take a class or there is not one offered by you like Bradley, or Hypnobirthing, get "The Pink Kit Method for Birthing Better" amazing.

8. Get a friend who already has kids to go with you and your hubby when you register. You need someone to tell you what you really need and how much and what "gadgets" work in practical application and which ones are only cool in theory.

9. speaking of "gadgets" go to www.onestepahead.com very cool things to make life easier. A lot of them are invented by parents.


10. And the most important piece of advice of all.....Don't allow people to scare you with their horror stories!!! If they start in on that nonsense just put up your hand and say, "Only positive birth stories, please". Not that some people did not have a good birth experience-but the reasons why have nothing to do with you or your situation and you don't need any negativity right now. Not that you should be unrealistic as to what pregnancy and birth is really like, but don't set your self up for a horrible experience because your best friend, or sister or mother had one. again-get a doula!!!

11. Spend some time reading about what motherhood is really like. It's not all smiles and lullabys (sp?). It is the most selfless thing you can ever do-be someone's mother. Don't get so focused on the pregnancy and birth that you don't spend any time thinking about what kind of mother you want to be, and how to do just that. It's work. Anything worth doing is.

12. ENJOY YOUR PREGNANCY-EVERY MOMENT OF IT! Even at the end when you are feeling "So done!" Don't rush to get it over with. Your baby knows when it is time to be born. Be informed and trust birth. Trust your body-it was made to do this. This is the only time that you can honestly say that you are assisting God with a miracle. Relish as much as you can with it and enjoy the great honor that you have been given. Again, even when it is hard-there are women out there who would kill for morning sickness and baby kicking all night long and heartburn and will never have it.


13. Realize what an amazing and beautiful being you are and take time for your self. Never underestimate your power or your intelligence or your beauty. Don't let anyone-including yourself-take those things away from you.

14. And last but not least, take time for your marriage. Parenthood is hard sometimes and you will face challenges. Everyone does sooner or later. Realize that your marriage is the foundation of your family and it needs to be solid or your family will crumble. Go on dates with each other and don't talk about the kid(s)-have s*x even when you are tired-you will be happy you did.

Congratulations on your pregnancy and good luck!!

[its_our_family]

Good advice!!

I haev to second the chiropractor! Find one and make them your friend! You will be thrilled. I mean, think about it. Subluxations cause pain just about everyday, even if you dln't feel it. But you are adding how much weight to your lower back? Then think about delivering your baby. You want to be aligned as possible. You don't to have a bunch of vertebrae getting in the way of a smooth descent!

Yes, do realize that it will not be all smiles and giggles and cute baby farts I was expecting it. The first year for us was absolute hell. I'm not saying yours will be but I wish I had prepared for that and the peripartum depression that hit at about 20 weeks. Realize that ppd does happen and it is ok. (I dont' want to be negative...jsut realistic.)

DOulas are also a great thing. My first birth would have been much different with more knowledge and the help of someone who knew what I wanted and was experienced in birth.

If you are not comfortable with your care provider find a new one. I made the switch around 35-36 weeks with my second. My hubby hated our midwives...or should I say MEDwives!

[dctexan]

multiplemomma78 - Thank you for taking the time to write down all of that really good advice!!!

[daceysmomma]

Congrats! And what great advice from everyone!

It sounds like you have lots of great pointers on pregnancy and birth. For after baby gets here, the only book you really need is Sears's The Baby Book. Well, let me back up. I *wish* that were the only book I had read. It would have save me so much angst and worry. Also, we really liked the techinques from Happiest Baby on the Block. But if you only read one, read Sears.

[jinetemx]

Congratulations! I am far from an expert, but I am pregnant with my second and this is what I would pass along as "advice." Take it for what it is worth!

1. The Sears Baby Book is great to have, and also the Sears Pregnancy Book was helpful. I also enjoyed and benefitted from Ina May Gaskin's books on Midwifery (various) for filling my head with really postive birth stories and a really positive outlook on the birth process. Even if you don't go the MW route, I think the positive light she sheds on pregancyand birth is worth it's weight in gold.

2. I agree with the other poster that your relationship will change with your SO after the baby (some for the better, some for the worse IMHO), so do some work on that beforehand to make sure you have a great base.

3. Don't go overboard buying a bunch of baby stuff. People are gonna get you a ton of stuff. I have very few friends and family here, and I swear I did not need to buy ANYTHING clothes-wise for the first 6 months, maybe even year. And other stuff, people will probably get you, bibs, towels, thermometers, etc. etc. I didn't realize this would be the case beforehand. Because I wanted to, I bought two sleepers, easily could have not bought any.

4. Consider co-sleeping. I was totally against this before having the baby, but my DH talked me into it. I swear, I missed almost no sleep with the infant. (okay, besides the first week of thinking I might roll over on her or something) Feeding was a breeze, no getting out of bed to go to a crib to feed, just roll over! Now I am the world's foremost co-sleeping promoter! It is great! The BEST moments of having an infant are when they first wake up in the morning. It is really spectacular. Don't miss out on it!

Okay, that is my two cents!

[daceysmomma]

Oh yes! I totally second the co-sleeping thing! I was so against before Dacey arrived . . . had this weird "sacred marriage bed" thing going on . . . but like pp, my DH talked me into it and I am SO THANKFUL! We co-slept full-time until Dace was 6 months old, then she began to show us she needed a little more space . . . so we went part-time after that. Shared sleep doesn't have to be all or nothing. Follow baby's lead and you will find a great solution for your family.

[hazieluna]

So does it seem real to any of you first timers yet? I catch myself realizing that I'm pregnant 100 times a day and it just makes me want to burst! I'm so excited I want to tell everyone but on my Doctor's advice because of my age she's suggested we wait until the 2nd trimester, just in case, you know....

But still I wish I somehow felt more pregnant - whatever that means. I'm really tired but for me this doesn't seem like pregnancy. I've had some nausea but again it all seems kinda surreal.

I'm wondering how you other first timers are feeling?

[Sabo]

Originally Posted by hazieluna

So does it seem real to any of you first timers yet? I catch myself realizing that I'm pregnant 100 times a day and it just makes me want to burst! I'm so excited I want to tell everyone but on my Doctor's advice because of my age she's suggested we wait until the 2nd trimester, just in case, you know....

But still I wish I somehow felt more pregnant - whatever that means. I'm really tired but for me this doesn't seem like pregnancy. I've had some nausea but again it all seems kinda surreal.

I'm wondering how you other first timers are feeling?

I'm with you on this. I'm glad that I don't have horrible m/s, but on the other hand, I only really feel pg when I'm nauseous or my uterus is cramping. The cramping uterus makes me nervous, so I'd prefer the nausea. Its kind of crazy when I think of how big my little one is already (about the size of a large olive) and that she/he officially becomes a fetus next week and starts to look less like an alien and more like a teeny-tiny human.

I'm not even crazy tired anymore and feel hungry all the time. Really, anytime I see or hear of food, I want it. I think of one food and then any recipe that can be made with it pops in my head and I want it all. I have only gained about 2 pounds, but I have to go eat now; this seems like a lot of hunger for a baby who is the size of an olive. Once he/she gets bigger, I'll be eating so much that my butt will get so wide that I am not going to be able to fit through doors.

[beckyphry]

Natalia and Sabo, I feel the same way -- it's still not quite real. I barely have any symptoms at all, knock on wood!! I check out those sites that tell you how the baby is developing at each week, though, and it's interesting to me to realize how fast that little baby is growing!!