Question for other Veg moms (or others that might know)

[katie9143]

I am a vegetarian (well I do eat fish and dairy, but no other animals). This morning when my fiance was driving me to work he made a comment about how his daughter wanted meat (ya i know, how does he know...haha) but it made me start thinking about it. I dont care that he eats meat, I cook it for him, I just dont eat it myself. I guess I also never thought I would try to raise my children vegetarian unless they made that decision on their own. It did make me think though that since I do plan on bfing for as long as I can - how will that effect my baby's ability to digest animal products when she starts eating real food if I decide to give her meat along with her daddy? It would seem to me that the baby's system would be used to the things that would come through in my milk as a result of what I eat.

Anyone have an experience with this or any thoughts?

[annekevdbroek]

I'm vegetarian, as is DH, as is DS (more or less). DS BF until age 3. He has had meat - we let him eat it at other people's houses or on the rare occasion that we go to McDonalds. He has never had a problem digesting it. I don't think you have anything to worry about in terms of the system being "used to" meat. At home he gets veggie nuggets or veggie burgers and doesn't seem to really notice them being any different than what he gets at other places. Many young children don't like meat, BTW, so it may turn out to be a nonissue.

[Shenandoah]

I am vegan and have been so for 8.5 years. My dh is what I like to call "almost veg." He eats vegetarian + seafood. We decided the kids would be vegan to the extent possible, which means that if they eat restaurant bread that may contain eggs I don't make a fuss, but certainly things like milk chocolate, dairy cheese pizza, etc. are out of the question. Our home is completely vegan. If someone unknowingly gives us a nonvegan gift I give it away as fast as possible.

For me this is an ethical situation and I want to teach my children my ethics. It is the same as teaching them my religious beliefs. The most important thing for me is to teach them why we are vegan. I know they will likely experiment with nonvegan foods when they are older and I'm not around. The point is to teach them my values. If your values and ethical beliefs are against eating meat then you and your child's father should talk about that.

[swtpesq]

I am like you (veg + occasional fish) and asked my pediatrician-to-be how, if at all, that would affect breastfeeding, etc., though I didn't specifically ask how it would affect little one's tolerance for meat if she should end up eating it in the future because, like Shenandoah, it's really important to me that she not...anyway, FWIW, the doc didn't seem to think it would have any effect at all. The only thing he said was (and thankfully, not in a condescending way) that I need to be aware of my protein and calcium intake (which, having been more or less vegetarian for 20 years, I of course am).

HTH!

[edamommy]

My dh decided to go veg right before we married. Not because I wouldn't marry him otherwise, but because he educated himself on the subject and knew it was the right thing to do. He also knew that I wouldn't want any child of mine given meat before they were old enough to understand what it means (murdering an animal) and could make an educated decision before hand.

I don't know, seems strange to "prepare" one's child to be able to digest meat. :

[Ahappymel]

Originally Posted by katie9143

I guess I also never thought I would try to raise my children vegetarian unless they made that decision on their own.
Anyone have an experience with this or any thoughts?

I just want to say that my thought processes have been similar to yours except that I reasoned that I never thought I would try to raise my children eating animals unless they made that decision on their own after having more understanding of it. I guess this is because I am an ethical vegetarian...and will teach my children the best way that I know (for myself). They will make their own decisions for themselves later, I'm sure...and those decisions may or may not match mine.
In the meantime, vegetarianism is a household norm for us...it is an important value in our home.

[Electra375]

The only issues I see would be possible allergies to things in veggie diets such as soy (which is high on the list of allergens). Also, soy in the quanity Americans eat it is not good, there was a Mothering article on soy a few years back, my mother had been telling me that information for years. Another high allergen is gluten, it's becoming more and more. Gluten is in veggie burgers, veggie hotdogs, TVP, breads, soups, etc (wheat, barley, rye and oats).

My ds2 was not able to eat the standard flow of baby food introduction. He was having reactions to bananas, peaches, squash, etc. He had reactions to the grains, rice even. Our pedi was zero help at this point I'd given up on advice from him. I contacted my friend, a LLL leader and she told me to start in on meats. He was almost 8 months old. Meat he tolerated, no allergic reactions or intolerance reactions. So he was bm and meat... After he started eating meat, he started to look a lot better - those are the only photos in infancy that I have where he is plump. And today he eats almost nothing but veggies and fruits, they are his preferrence. At some point I re-introduced the veggies and fruits and he was okay. He never did like or tolerate the grains, never would choose to eat a cookie or biscut (he knew at 9 mo old they were not good for him). And oatmeal forget it! Little did I know then that he was Celiac, he was 3 1/2 when he was dx'd -- so he lived with intolerances to dairy, cracker products etc for a long time. He now can consume raw dairy only without problems, processed dairy will cause him to be ill.

So, I would listen to what your children tell you (non-verbal communication is amazing in infants). Keep an eye out for intolerances &/ or allergies to things that are in higher quanities in veggie diets.

Be sure that as a bfing mom you are getting a good variety of foods in your diet to include the combinations of foods to yeild a complete protein source (if you are into that theory of eating). I personally would introduce meats into their diet sometime after solids are started, but I'm partial to meat b/c it was the only food my ds2 tolerated well for a long time.

[Ahappymel]

Just want to add that our vegetarian diet is low in soy and wheat gluten...so many alternatives in diets (every diet, really).

[katie9143]

For me personally, not eating meat and the whole issue of killing animals is an ethical choice - but not one that I have decided to go head to head with my fiance on - which is why I figured that when she was old enough to eat solids I would try and let her choose what she liked from either my food or his while maintaining a healthy well rounded diet (if he was eating something that I felt was healthy and meat based I would let her try it). As soon as she is old enough to understand I certainly do plan to educate her as to why mommy does not eat animals and then let her play with that in her mind and make her own decision. I guess I kind of hoped that being the main meal provider in the house (and i am sure that will not change!) that she would tend to eat more of what I would be more inclined to prepare for myself and less of what he likes - being that she and I would have 3 meals a day together and only 1 with him most of the time - without it appearing to him that I am trying force it on her. I have told him that his diet and the sources of animal that he ingests once she is old enough to share his food and observe will have to drastically improve and he has agreed (no more nitrates, organic farm raised animals only, etc).

I do not eat an overwhelming amount of soy, compared to some vegetarians that I know - I have read the studies on the harms of too much soy and have kept up on that debate for the past few years, having worked for a homeopathic based nutraceutical company and healthcare center in the recent past. As far as gluten intolerance, I have known several people with this same problem, so I certainly would be open to observing any of those types of warning signs.

Lots of good thoughts - thanks Ladies.

[Ahappymel]

Originally Posted by katie9143

I guess I kind of hoped that being the main meal provider in the house (and i am sure that will not change!) that she would tend to eat more of what I would be more inclined to prepare for myself and less of what he likes - being that she and I would have 3 meals a day together and only 1 with him most of the time - without it appearing to him that I am trying force it on her.

See, what's interesting is that my ex kinda has inferred that I'm "forcing" my choices on him...but why is raising him to eat ethically considered "forcing" when letting him eat anything/everything without being honest about it not?
I guess what I mean is that any of us tries to do the best we can by raising our children according to our own values...is this always considered "forcing"?

[Shazer]

I'm on the opposite spectrum in that I eat a traditional diet of mostly meats and veggies. But in choosing meat, like choosing vegan foods, you have to be so very careful because of all of the junk out there. The only healthy type of meat is natural and pure meat: no antibiotics, no hormones, natural feeds for the animals (free range or natural feeds without animal byproducts). I suggest looking at the natural food stores because so much of the meat available is from free range animals who are humanely kept. If your child eats good quality natural meats, then digestion shouldn't be an issue. Often when children have allergies to meats, it is from all of the additives and related to the diet of the animal.

[katie9143]

I guess what I mean is that any of us tries to do the best we can by raising our children according to our own values...is this always considered "forcing"?

good question...i guess i would say it would be the degree that you would go to maybe?? i dont know, i guess everyone has to do that makes them feel ok for themselves. i think being honest about what something is and exactly where it comes from will be my number one rule when providing her with the information to make her own decision when the time comes i guess. i certainly will not be letting her eat anything and everything - but at the same time i will try not to limit her to only what i have chosen

this is difficult subject!

[Ahappymel]

Yes it is a difficult subject!
Before I met my dh I was in a budding relationship with an old friend of mine...he was not a vegetarian...he couldn't understand why this wasn't just an issue about "food" to me...
I think one of the main reasons that the relationship never blossomed into something more was that I just couldn't see myself struggling with the difficulties of the issue on a daily basis...besides, it translated into more than just "food" for me...it was a whole value system and I really wanted a partner who would get where I was coming from so that we could support each other as people and parents.
Having said that, I admire couples who do have to find the sophistication to communicate about difficult issues such as these in a loving and respectful way and find workable solutions for their family/children.