or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Stay at Home Parents › Are mainstream SAHM more into cleaning?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Are mainstream SAHM more into cleaning? - Page 2

post #21 of 157
Quote:
Originally Posted by townmouse View Post
I think it has to do with the child, too...if you have calm, content, self-entertaining little ones you can get an awful lot done in a short amount of time.

Mainstream moms might either force their child to do without mama (playpen, crib, high chair etc) so the child is just used to not being tended, or they may try to give baby alot of attention generally but ignore while cleaning.

With my first and third babies, they were happy to play on the floor or ride in the sling while I cleaned. With my second and fourth babies, I was chained to the rocking chair and when I got to get up I wouldn't be cleaning! I'd be peeing or showering or eating or cooking...Dh did most of the cleaning then.

But high-needs or not, by the time my youngest child is 3 or 4 I can keep a clean house again LOL Toby's 'very' high-needs and he's only 2, so I have awhile to go before we're consistently clean.

I can get the place ready for company in about 30 minutes and I think that's good enough.

There is nothing wrong with using a high chair if used moderately. My toddler LOVES his high chair. When I am doing dishes, he sits right by me and I give him dishes to "wash". He also likes it when we have dinner, because he can sit right there at our level and eat and be with the family.
post #22 of 157
oh, and I could not STAND to see my ds w/ dog hair all over him as an infant... and if you don't do your floors DAILY and you have dogs or cats (or rabbits---- or all of the above!!!!!!!!) your child will be ingesting and wearing animal hair (or people hair too!)!!!
post #23 of 157
Quote:
Originally Posted by USAmma View Post
I think it has to do with keeping up appearances.
Maybe for SOME people, but not all. Some people truly cannot stand filth. I am one of those people. I clean my house for me. Its not for the people that come to my house. It gets messy, heck yeah. Toys, papers, etc. And I LOATHE laundry.....but it is CLEAN. I hate a dirty bathroom, I vacuum daily, mop twice a week. I'm not obsessive at all, I think I'm pretty middle of the road.

But, like I said: For some it is about keeping up appearances, for others its just how they like to live.
post #24 of 157
Quote:
Originally Posted by edamommy View Post
oh, and I could not STAND to see my ds w/ dog hair all over him as an infant... and if you don't do your floors DAILY and you have dogs or cats (or rabbits---- or all of the above!!!!!!!!) your child will be ingesting and wearing animal hair (or people hair too!)!!!
That too! I have to vacuum often or the dog hair piles up!
post #25 of 157
For me the cleaning aspect helps us to have a peaceful, comfortable home. It is not about being mainstream or you being more crunchy than me because I like a clean house. I do work hard to clean my home, but my priority is always my kids. I don't go to sleep with dirty dishes in the sink, because I would rather clean the kitchen before bed (which only takes about 10-15 minutes with a well-maintained kitchen) so I don't have to wake up to a gross kitchen with old, food filled dished in the morning. It is more a feng shui way of living--everything in it's place and clean, simple living.

I am the last person to throw a fit over something spilled on the carpet or floor--I let my kids eat in livingroom, and am very easy going. But I always clean up after, and am a very hard worker. Even if I am sick I still get up to maintain the house, because it makes the whole family run more smoothly and comfortably.

There is nothing more cozy than a happy, well loved family in a clean house. I can go into my bathroom and take a bath in our clean tub, walk into my kitchen in the morning, walking around in my slippers and drinking my tea and enjoying it without tripping over yesterday's toys or looking a disgusting old dirty dishes. This is a nice way to live--not something "mainstream". Being a SAHM I am able to do both--have my home comfortably clean and have enough time with my children.
post #26 of 157
Dunno. I'm moderately far along the crunchy spectrum, and I think this theory is a bit simplistic. My house is N E A T. But it's not spotlessly clean. We simply don't have a lot of stuff, and that includes toys. We're not luddites or anything, it's just that you don't see a lot of plastic in my house, and we have some awesome storage, so everything has a home. Add to that that my kids are mostly in school these days, we're outdoors a LOT, so it's easy to keep it tidy when you're simply not there. It's pretty easy to fool people into thinking your house is clean when you just don't have a lot of stuff to clutter it
post #27 of 157
I'm not a SAHM but I like to read posts in this forum for time to time. This thread was amusing me and I just wanted to pipe in.

Two of my SAHM friends who are completely mainstream have the most disgustingly dirty houses I've ever ever ever seen in my entire life. It's uncomfortable to be in their homes. Food, clothes, toys, animals are everywhere. Then there's my middle of the road SAHM friend (SIL actually) and her house is always clean. I can't think of any other SAHMs, except for my MIL, and from what I understand-no one can compare to her.

I agree-I think it's personality type. I WOH and my house is somewhere in between, depending on the week/day/hour.
post #28 of 157
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisainCalifornia View Post
For me the cleaning aspect helps us to have a peaceful, comfortable home. It is not about being mainstream or you being more crunchy than me because I like a clean house. I do work hard to clean my home, but my priority is always my kids. I don't go to sleep with dirty dishes in the sink, because I would rather clean the kitchen before bed (which only takes about 10-15 minutes with a well-maintained kitchen) so I don't have to wake up to a gross kitchen with old, food filled dished in the morning. It is more a feng shui way of living--everything in it's place and clean, simple living.

I am the last person to throw a fit over something spilled on the carpet or floor--I let my kids eat in livingroom, and am very easy going. But I always clean up after, and am a very hard worker. Even if I am sick I still get up to maintain the house, because it makes the whole family run more smoothly and comfortably.

There is nothing more cozy than a happy, well loved family in a clean house. I can go into my bathroom and take a bath in our clean tub, walk into my kitchen in the morning, walking around in my slippers and drinking my tea and enjoying it without tripping over yesterday's toys or looking a disgusting old dirty dishes. This is a nice way to live--not something "mainstream". Being a SAHM I am able to do both--have my home comfortably clean and have enough time with my children.
:
post #29 of 157
Thread Starter 
Well this thread proves it is more about personality than crunchy-ness. I WANT to say that if I spent less time with the kids, I'd spend more time cleaning -- but maybe I'd just spend more time on the internet, watching TV, or something!
post #30 of 157
Quote:
Originally Posted by USAmma View Post
I think it has to do with keeping up appearances.
Not for me. I find a messy house disorienting. I have the power to make my surroundings a pleasant place to be, and I use it.

I don't have time to wade through clutter every day, and I would find it disgusting to wake up to dirty dishes in the sink.

However, my DDs and my DH are with the program, we all work together to Keep our home like this. Not letting it get into a mess in the first place is the key.
post #31 of 157
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisainCalifornia View Post
For me the cleaning aspect helps us to have a peaceful, comfortable home. It is not about being mainstream or you being more crunchy than me because I like a clean house. I do work hard to clean my home, but my priority is always my kids. I don't go to sleep with dirty dishes in the sink, because I would rather clean the kitchen before bed (which only takes about 10-15 minutes with a well-maintained kitchen) so I don't have to wake up to a gross kitchen with old, food filled dished in the morning. It is more a feng shui way of living--everything in it's place and clean, simple living.

I am the last person to throw a fit over something spilled on the carpet or floor--I let my kids eat in livingroom, and am very easy going. But I always clean up after, and am a very hard worker. Even if I am sick I still get up to maintain the house, because it makes the whole family run more smoothly and comfortably.

There is nothing more cozy than a happy, well loved family in a clean house. I can go into my bathroom and take a bath in our clean tub, walk into my kitchen in the morning, walking around in my slippers and drinking my tea and enjoying it without tripping over yesterday's toys or looking a disgusting old dirty dishes. This is a nice way to live--not something "mainstream". Being a SAHM I am able to do both--have my home comfortably clean and have enough time with my children.
What Lisa said
post #32 of 157
TinkerBelle, we don't use a high chair but I have nothing against them...I was just talking about the concept of caging up babies against their will just so you can clean the house.

Which is NOT what you described with your toddler
post #33 of 157

Wonder if it ever has anything to do with how our dh's are?

We're on the "crunchy" end of the spectrum, tho I've never felt I entirely fit the mold.... The cleaning subject is a funny one in our house. I occassionally get "What did you do all day?" If we've had a busy day, or lots of outside time, and the house is in chaos. BUT, DH has chores that he has designated as his, like he does the dishes after dinner (I get severe eczema if I submerge my hands too much in soapy water) and the vac'ing (he likes it, I don't). I cover general tidying, the laundry, the cooking, the kitchen, the bedrooms. And on the weekends, or at least every other weekend, we go on a team-rampage through the house together to disinfect and dust everything, and then bask in the glory of a clean home, together. DD floats back and forth between us, playing on the landing between floors, or "helping" one or the other of us to "clean", reading, drawing, or harassing and equally being harassed by the dog.

Btw, just when I thought I was getting a grip on what "Frosted" was, now there's toasting? What's the difference, and how does one toast?
post #34 of 157
Quote:
Originally Posted by GooeyRN View Post
I am a clean FREAK. NOTHING can be on the floors or any flat surface. (desks, tables, counters, etc) Floors mopped daily, bathrooms scrubbed daily, daily vacumming, and weekly dusting...I only have one child (14 months old) so I am sure things would be different around here if I had more.
OMG! How do you find the time to do all that? I have a soon to be 14 month old, and I just can't see being able to get all that done everyday. I would actually love to as I am a bit of a neat freak myself. However, since having my dd, I have had to relax my standards so as not to go completely insane. What do you do with your dd while you clean? Do you involve her? Does she take super long naps (mine sure doesn't)? Does she just play nearby? Seriously...I need to know your secret...I want my clean house back.

ETS - ok now I just noticed on your sig that you pump and cloth diaper too...holy cow...I feel really lazy
post #35 of 157
Quote:
Originally Posted by PrennaMama View Post
Btw, just when I thought I was getting a grip on what "Frosted" was, now there's toasting? What's the difference, and how does one toast?
Ahhh fresh meat......


And I am crunchy and a bit crispy at times. But my house is clean but can get dis orderly at times. We do do the dishes before bed and try to straighten up but being home all day can cause havoc on tidyness.

I know a mainstream mom who cannot stand anything not clean. She hates people eating by or on furniture, toys out of place even if the child is still playing with it!! Nutso
post #36 of 157
I feel like I'm in LisainCalifornia's camp. My kids make messes, bring food in the living room, and fingerpaint. But I can't stand letting messes accumulate.

If my house is messy or dirty, I seriously get grumpy and can't concentrate. It really makes me uneasy and it's harder for me to think clearly. There is also an element of "keeping appearances," though. I admit that I have thought to myself that I can't go to bed with a messy house because if I died in the middle of the night, the coroner people would come in my house and think, "Boy, she was a really messy person." It's absolutely crazy, but I do think that way.
post #37 of 157
I don't know whether I'm considered "mainstream" or not, but I am certainly not beholden to the cleanliness of my house.

I do my best to keep things clean, but it is difficult during the best of times. I say it's next to impossible to keep a house spotless on a daily basis when you're a SAHM who is homeschooling (therefore having kids in the house ALL day). You're too busy LIVING to be cleaning or not messing the clean things up. LOL

And now that I'm pregnant...it's much more difficult. The main reason our house stays as clean as it does now is because I have a dear friend who comes and spends the night once a week so that he can do most of the heavy cleaning (mopping, vacuuming, bathrooms) for me the next day.

I keep up with the dishes in the kitchen, washing and drying the laundry (my friend folds and puts away), general pickup at the end of the day, etc...but that doesn't keep the place spotless for sure.
post #38 of 157
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisainCalifornia View Post
For me the cleaning aspect helps us to have a peaceful, comfortable home. It is not about being mainstream or you being more crunchy than me because I like a clean house. I do work hard to clean my home, but my priority is always my kids. I don't go to sleep with dirty dishes in the sink, because I would rather clean the kitchen before bed (which only takes about 10-15 minutes with a well-maintained kitchen) so I don't have to wake up to a gross kitchen with old, food filled dished in the morning. It is more a feng shui way of living--everything in it's place and clean, simple living.

I am the last person to throw a fit over something spilled on the carpet or floor--I let my kids eat in livingroom, and am very easy going. But I always clean up after, and am a very hard worker. Even if I am sick I still get up to maintain the house, because it makes the whole family run more smoothly and comfortably.

There is nothing more cozy than a happy, well loved family in a clean house. I can go into my bathroom and take a bath in our clean tub, walk into my kitchen in the morning, walking around in my slippers and drinking my tea and enjoying it without tripping over yesterday's toys or looking a disgusting old dirty dishes. This is a nice way to live--not something "mainstream". Being a SAHM I am able to do both--have my home comfortably clean and have enough time with my children.
Very well said! I really believe that creating a clean and more linear environment helps my family spiritually and emotionally. When we have lived in chaos we all seem to feel sort of "off". My son plays much better when his toys are organized and attractively set out on his shelves. For us caring for our home is a way to show gratitude for the abundance in our lives.

Also, we are a low-income family, we live in kind of a dumpy apartment, and I think that makes me even more aware of making sure our home is well-maintained. It might not be the Ritz, but its home and I like to feel good about it. That being said, I am by no means a perfectionist and if you saw my bedroom right now you might report me to FlyLady's hall of shame, LOL. I am a artsy/crafter type and my bedroom is also my studio space so it can be kind of wild in there!
post #39 of 157
Quote:
Originally Posted by YumaDoula View Post
... or is it just the ones I know?

I can say without a doubt that I have the messiest house of all my mainstream friends. Cleaning and picking up is not a high priority -- okay we don't live in our own filth, but like right now I'm looking at a bunch of stuffed animals on the floor, some shoes, some books, a bathing suit, and a deck of cards has been spread out. And there is a giant pack of play dough sitting next to me, and a rolling pin. And it doesn't bother me. Doesn't really bother my dh either. Anyway, I had a mainstream friend come let out our dogs on Cmas because we weren't home and I left her a note like, "Yes, it always looks this way in here!" because I figured she'd be shocked, and she was.

I've had two friends tell me that they literally CAN'T SLEEP AT NIGHT if they have dishes in the sink or a dirty floor. Huh? :
I need to find more friends who are like you!
post #40 of 157
Thread Starter 
Quote:
I need to find more friends who are like you!
Aww! :

Honestly I have a friend who occasionally stops by because she says it makes her feel better about being a sahm, to see me, another sahm, living in chaos. : I'm glad my messy-ness serves a purpose.

Also, I agree with the pp who mentioned her dh... my dh is INSANELY messy. I could not live like he does. My mom said I married the perfect person -- someone even messier than me, who has no problem with the mess.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Stay at Home Parents
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Stay at Home Parents › Are mainstream SAHM more into cleaning?