Since my dx moved out (and he took his rules and regulations with him!), my family has grown! Ds, almost 19, has his girlfriend spending most weekends with us, while Dd, 17, is either sleeping over at her boyfriend's or he's sleeping over at our house. Recently I've bought two queen-sized beds for my kids, make sure dd uses birth control and that ds and his girlfriend do the same.
On top of all that, my own boyfriend frequently comes for a sleep-over.
Often the six of us sit down for dinner together. We talk, joke, help eachother out with chores, discuss problems. Harmony reigns. And me and my two kids are all on the same wave-length, in the sense that we're all three in love and joyful. On Sundays we all sleep in, each staying in bed with our respective partners way into the afternoon, and when we meet we greet eachother with smiling, glowing, knowing looks.
But... and sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night wondering... is all this kind of crazy? Am I being way too laid back and permissive? Are there other parents of teenagers out there who are this flexible and relaxed about their children's love-lives? Is this going to somehow back-fire big time?
I'd love to receive some thoughts and advice!
On top of all that, my own boyfriend frequently comes for a sleep-over.
Often the six of us sit down for dinner together. We talk, joke, help eachother out with chores, discuss problems. Harmony reigns. And me and my two kids are all on the same wave-length, in the sense that we're all three in love and joyful. On Sundays we all sleep in, each staying in bed with our respective partners way into the afternoon, and when we meet we greet eachother with smiling, glowing, knowing looks.
But... and sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night wondering... is all this kind of crazy? Am I being way too laid back and permissive? Are there other parents of teenagers out there who are this flexible and relaxed about their children's love-lives? Is this going to somehow back-fire big time?
I'd love to receive some thoughts and advice!
I think, as long as you educate your children about the possible consequences of having sex, such as std's and preg., and you and they are comfortable with the arrangement, then is well. After all, if they wouldn't be under you roof, you know they'd find a way anyway... thats my opinion, anyway. I was a teen not so long ago.
: ) If you start giving people responsibility when younger and educate them about it within a protective framework (protective for you and them/him/her), then they can be responsible younger. I remember reading a biography of Alexander Hamilton when I was 14 and being completely jealous of him (even though I thought he was politically a total a$$hole) that at 13 he was the assistant to a chandler in the west indies and at 14 he took over for his boss (he was indentured/apprenticed at 12) when his boss went to england for a year on business. He ran everything just fine and by the time he was 17, he had gone to the american colonies and started meeting everyone we would later read about in the history books! I knew that I'd have been able to do that given the opportunity but now that sort of thing wasn't allowed.
Follow Mothering