Originally Posted by UnschoolnMa
I think it's quite possible to guide your children into being the strong, thinking for themselves kind of people you want them to be even if they are exposed to (or like my kids, play with, Gasp!) Bratz/ Barbies, pop or rap music, and MTV. It has happened with my own children and in other families I know.
I just don't think that girls are doomed to a life of boy toy mentality or a career as a "whore" if they are into these things.
I think I see what you're saying and based on your posts in this thread, it seems like you are having a positive outcome with your daughter despite the other stuff. On the other hand, I strongly believe in garbage in, garbage out and that what you feed your mind gets into your subconscious/psyche. I think it is evident in real life too. For instance, kids that get to watch endless amount of t.v., music videos, listen to trashy music, read magazines that play up sex or sensuality will definitely take in some messages that may not be reflected in their behavior right away. However, if kids get exposed to so much other stuff (positive and non-sexual in nature) and are "hooked" on those things or interested in that and happen to like some of the songs/dolls/etc. AND have a relationship with their parents like the one you described with your daughter, then I think there is less to worry about.
I used to be very crazy-like when it came to my DS listening to trashy music, seeing videos, etc. So unbelievably uptight and scared. Now that he's 9 and loves to read, tap dance, hip hop dance, drum, Capoeira, play the clarinet, and volunteer teach in Ecuador when he's grown, plus and endless amountof other positive interests, loves classical music etc, I've decided that I can lay off a bit. I don't have cable so videos still aren't an option but I won't go crazy if he sees them in the barber shop. there is some music that he has heard from kids at school that is definitely trashy - talking about drinking, drugs, shaking your money maker - instead of getting upset, I've listened to it and explained to him what the words mean and why I don't think he needs to listen to that crap. Rarely, we'll listen to songs together that are just thuggish and glorifying street life and he does this crazy dance they do on the video and we laugh about it but he is not trying to emulate the thugs (which is what used to be my fear). Or, I let him watch some wrestling show with me the other night and we laughed about it. Something else that in the past I was really scared about b/c I didn't want him to be violent. However, I'm only comfortable with this limited exposure because I talk to my son and he has so many other positive interests.
On the other hand, there are some kids in his school that don't have that balance and bring that crap/the dress/attitude/actions to school and it is a real problem.