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Emotional eaters wanting to stop the diet mentality and be at peace with food? - Page 85

post #1681 of 1694

If the server freaks out again--try pressing your 'back' button and then you should be able to at least copy and paste your post into word or an email or whatever so that you can then repost it when the server isn't so busy--that usually works for me anyway. I know how frustrating it can be to lose a whole post--ugh!!!!"

Oh. I wanted to say that this has happened twice this month and when I hit back, I get the same server too busy. Then the post is gone I'm not sure if I'm doing something weird??? Thanks though Holly.

Ok. Nak. Ds is trying to get me to stop typing.
post #1682 of 1694
Just popping in to say hello...

post #1683 of 1694
Thread Starter 
Hello everyone!

That's weird Christina--when I hit back, my post is usually still there... that sucks!

Maggy--hello--how are you doing? Can't tell much from your post obviously!!

Mamabeca--how are you doing? Sorry to hear that your dh was thinking only of himself--did you point that out to him--let him know how you feel as you know what--he likely doesn't get it... I know that is something that I do sometimes--but things work out much better if I just tell my dh--otherwise he'll never know and do it yet again and be totally oblivious!

Anyone else lurking that wants to stop in and say hello?? Hello to you either way!!

Yesterday was interesting--I went to my run clinic training (I volunteer as a run leader every year) and didn't obsess about food--didn't really even think about it (well until I was STARVING!!) and enjoyed what I had and enjoyed not thinking about food the whole day--just naturally! Today I was remembering what it was like last year--the food was all the same but *I* was different and I was obsessing about the food all day--what I *should* eat, what I shouldn't eat, - I know last year was better than the year before in that I was trying to listen to my body--and I took a cookie home with me to have later if I wanted it--but then that cookie led to a binge later where I *had* to go out and get more of those cookies... Yesterday I ate the cookie there as I wanted it and then didn't want anymore of them later...

Anyway, I thought that was great--as I wasn't thinking about what to do/what not to do or what other people were thinking or anything AT ALL and it was not even a conscious thing! WOOHOO!

Kids are calling so I better run. How are you all doing?

post #1684 of 1694
Originally Posted by veggiemommy View Post
Anyone else lurking that wants to stop in and say hello?? Hello to you either way!!

I lurk on this thread, but I admit it's kind of hard to navigate through because it's getting so long. Maybe time for a 2008 thread?

I've started blogging (link in my siggy) about my feelings. I have found that if I even just type my feelings out on a blog, forum, etc that I'm less likely to make a bad choice. I struggled for the past few weeks ago doing the master cleanse again. I did it for one day last year and I stopped because it scared me. I loved the idea of quick weight loss. And I loved the idea of having diarrhea (I know, TOTALLY weird) because it brought me back to those feelings of purging after a binge. Binging and purging were the best of both worlds. I could eat all the good food I wanted, get the satisfaction from that, then throw up and I wouldn't gain any weight.

So anyways, I've been really emotional the past few months. I was in an ATV accident back in July and I am sure I have PTSD but I haven't called a therapist yet. I know I need to, I just need a kick in the butt. So in the past few months I have ate myself up to 194 lbs. Back in October I believe it was, I weighed in the low 170's.

But the past few days I have been doing awesome. I've had a couple of SMALL binges, no purging (I haven't done that for the past 6ish months), and in a week I went from 194 lbs - 189.6. I've been using the Leslie Sansone walk & jog dvd. I will NOT diet. I refuse to diet. WHenever I've tried, I feel deprived and I end up eating and eating and eating. So I'm just trying to make healthier choices, and figuring out my hunger cues and drinking more water (BARF, I HATE water!). So I really feel I am coming to peace with the food situation because there's nothing that is off limits. I want a piece of chocolate, sure choose a small square of dark chocolate. Everything in moderation!
post #1685 of 1694
Welcome Babygrant!

Had a good day today. Transplanted and divided a few plants from my neighbor/friends yard. Felt like another step toward the kind of life I want to build here. It was a good reminder to be grateful for the small things or see the small things as big things. But we ran out of time in the evening and ended up ordering a pizza and we were really hungry and I overate a lot. Do any of you feel frustrated having to plan meals so much now that you have families? I know I've brought it up before. I think it's another one of those things I am rebelling against. The idea that I need to plan and stick to a menu, well and also to pull it off every night. It's a practicality thing and a money thing. We can't get take out every night and really don't want to. Plus it's really stressful to eat with the three kids.

Also I am trying to encourage myself to think about foods again without attaching the bad and good judgement to it all. I might be slipping up because I am wishing I could cut back on the sweets and wheat, hearing how much better you are feeling Maggy, I know I can feel so much better too, but right now I know I can't make the right choices without turing it into a diet. So instead, I think I am just beating myself up for that by making choices I know I'll regret, turning off my attention to myself. I never really realized what an all or nothing thinker I can be until finding this thread.

At least I feel like I'm getting a handle on it all again as I jump back in here.
post #1686 of 1694
Yep, another all or nothing thinker here. I read something in a book - a phrase that really resonated with me. "Don't let the best be the enemy of the good." I was like...whoa. Had never heard it before but it just really made sense to me, esp in terms of diet and exercise.

I just finished re-reading The Slow Down Diet (was it discussed earlier here? not sure) and got sooo much out of it. I'm really trying to practice mindfulness in many areas of my life, using it a lot with regards to eating and food.

I love his ideas about asking what your body needs, and who is eating. Also about enjoying *movement* as opposed to exercise. Sheesh, I think I need to read it again!

Anyway, hi to everyone - still doing a lot of lurking as opposed to posting as I try to get things figured out. This thread really has been an inspiration to me, as many of you are working on accepting your bodies and becoming at peace with what IS and not what things will be. Thanks for the inspiration and support!
post #1687 of 1694
Thread Starter 
Good morning ladies!!

So happy to see some posts - especially from people who don't post very often--it's so refreshing to hear what you are going through as I can usually relate in some way so thank you for posting!

I am SOOOOO all or nothing and didn't know it until I went to counseling but I'm sure you've heard me talk about it a lot on here so obviously I can relate to that. I too find that dinner is SUCH a huge thing for me too--I get SOOO frustrated because at least 1 of my 3 kids won't eat the dinner (more often it's 2 or 3 though and it's especially frustrating when I've taken the time and effort to cook something healthy that I think that they would like--so it's not even something I necessarily want... gosh if I was always just cooking for my tastes, it would be very different--yet my kids won't eat anything anyway. I just get so frustrated and end up making spaghetti with prego sauce or pizza or some other easy thing that I KNOW that they will eat--but has no veggies or really good nutrition in it. Although the one thing I make for them that I have snuck veggies in and they still LOVE it is mac and cheese! I bought a vitamix (last year I think?) and make mac and cheese--I make the cheese sauce in my vitamix--with tofu, coleslaw mix and carrots and they EAT IT UP! (Of course there is cheese too!) THEY LOVE IT and they've even seen me put the veggies in and it's the ONE time they don't care!

Oh and we make smoothies for them sometimes and sneak carrots or coleslaw mix (like cabbage, carrots and is it beets all shredded up) in it and they love it--so that helps anyway...

But yah--it's so disheartening and I often end up just giving up even trying but I want them to eat better and not want 'play' food all the time... So yah-I can so relate--and I think I'm extra sensitive about the food thing just due to my background of all this crap you know so it hits me extra hard--also because I can take it personally sometimes when they don't like something--but I try not to!

I too often have nights where I just DON'T want to deal with it and we order pizza (which I LOVE but we can't afford to do as often as we do/would like to!) Money is an issue here too for sure unfortunately and so yah... anyone have any tips for us?

I have just signed up for a local 'good food box' program so once a month you can sign up for a fruit box and a fruit and veggie box (Or more) and you get an assortment of local produce--a lot of it organic... It will be totally random but I'm hoping that the kids will eat the fruit (they like a lot of fruit so that is good!) and then I'll challenge myself to get all the veggies eaten up--so some of it might be stuff I don't usually buy and that will force me to try new recipes etc.--MAYBE finding something new the kids will eat....

Anyway--hopefully I'll like it enough this month that I'll do it again next month! Oh and it's supposed to be cheaper than buying the fruits and veggies in a grocery store--so yah--saving money too (if we eat it all that is!) Now I just have to remember not to buy more fruit and veggies before then or I'll have to room to put it all! (I need another fridge!!)

Welcome babygrant! CONGRATULATIONS on not binging for 6ish months! That is HUGE so congrats! Okay first of all, I have to say CALL YOUR THERAPIST!!!! You'll be so glad you did I'm sure so just take the time for yourself and do it. Actually I think I should too--haven't been in quite a while.... I'm glad that you have decided to post--thanks for jumping in where you are. We have talked about starting a new thread before but never did--but if you think (and others think) that new people would be more likely to post on a new thread, then I would be happy to start a new one and just link to this one.... can everyone give me their feedback on that? I would like to keep the same original intent in that we aren't discussing diets or weight etc. as that is NOT the focus (although many of us struggle with thoughts of that) - there are lots of other threads that you can discuss those things on but yah--thoughts everyone? I can see how a year's worth of posts would be intimidating to some and I don't want people to feel that way--I want everyone to jump in wherever you are as we can all learn so much from each other and support each other!

Polly it's so nice to hear from you-its been a while! I too can't set rules on my eating without turning into a diet--and I've come TOO far to do that to myself. I am ADDING things to my diet though-like trying to get in at least 2 veggies and a fruit a day (I started with 1 veggie and was able to do that, added 1 fruit and have decided that today I'll had 1 veggie) - so it's not the end of the world if I don't do it--and if I'm eating any kind of normal way, it will be EASY to do that (which was the point--I don't want be all or nothing--so I'm not beating myself up if I don't do it--just trying to do it) - anyway-that helps as it gets me thinking of different options of what I could do with fruits or veggies--as otherwise they can get forgotten... And I often enjoy them--but end up forgetting them on some day... I feel like I'm talking in circles yet again--but my mini-goals are that and trying to get 6 glasses (Or more of course) of water a day and to take my vitamins.... Those are things that are really easy if I just take a moment to do them/think about them and they make a HUGE difference in how I feel that day... so yah--maybe that might help you -- just an idea--to add some healthy things in that are REALLY easy for you to do but that don't trigger any diet mentality (as you're not restricting anything at all)

I still need to constantly work on not letting any foods have power or thinking of food or days as good or bad (as I was recently reminded-thank you!) as that often leads to diet mentality/bad body thinking.... It's hard as it's just so different than how I lived the rest of my life--old habits die hard I guess! So yah--if I trigger anything in anyone or if you catch me doing the opposite of that, PLEASE point it out to me as it's not intentional and it slips out sometimes when I don't want it to! I'm definitely still a work in progress.

I make the focus of my Nia homework to be kind to myself... I think that is KEY in all of this--the better I treat myself, the better I feel, the better mom I am, the more that I listen to my body or myself and what I need--whether it be a certain food, to move my body, to have some "me" time (which I haven't been doing very much of lately I just realized--doh!) to tell someone something or whatever....

WELCOME perl! Glad you are posting--please keep posting too as I'm sure it will prove helpful to you and help with your mindfulness-I know it does for me when I post! Do tell me more of what you have learned from that book as apart from the word diet in it's title, what you have spoken about sounds right on.... Mindfulness is SO hard for me to do--I wish there was an easier way to do it with 3 kids around! I like the idea of 'movement' too--sometimes I just call it 'activity' but yah--it's good--kind of like the 'play food' or 'fun food' rather than 'junk food' -both for us to think of it that way and to use that word with our kids... I'm still working on not using the junk food word with my kids who really do want to eat 'play' food all day long and nothing remotely close to something that will give them any nutrients whatsover!

Oh I just realized the time--I have to get the kids off to school and then I'm getting my hair cut--woohoo!

Have a wonderful mindful day ladies!

post #1688 of 1694
Originally Posted by veggiemommy View Post
I would like to keep the same original intent in that we aren't discussing diets or weight etc. as that is NOT the focus
Oops. Want me to edit my post above? Sorry!

I would love a new thread.
post #1689 of 1694
Hi Polly. I just read your last post and am concerned that my sharing that being without sugar has resulted in feeling better is somehow causing you some hard feelings. In a way, although I'm still very much in the spirit of this thread, and continue to struggle (but to a lesser degree than a year ago, thanks probably to spending so much time here) I've been hesitating coming and posting here.

I hope you are all well.

post #1690 of 1694
Hi babygrant. Nice to hear from you. I think I second the new thread with the link. I know I am intimidated to jump in other long threads, so in the sake of having all feel welcome, I say yay. Also, I think it's powerful that you're blogging your ED experience. I want to read it.

I want to respond to so much-doh! I just can't. I'm home with both kids who are barfing and having all kinds of intestinal issues. It's ds's first experience with a bug like this, and he gets so scared. DD is a trooper, though. After she gets sick, she gets up and says, "I'm done. That's all the vomit." Then she moves onto whatever...she's the coolest 3 year old ever!

Anyway, DS is sleeping, and I need to snuggle with DD until he get up. When he's awake he wants to be held and nursed.

Take care. I'll lurk while holding kiddos-I'm enjoying the conversation.

post #1691 of 1694
Thread Starter 
REALLY quick--I just started a new thread so you can find it here:
I have to go and finish making lunch so I'll check in later!

post #1692 of 1694
Just lost a post,
So more quickly, Maggy, I knew you'd wonder if you're posting had affected me that way. I almost included a disclaimer to you in the original, but didn't want to suggest anything either. No, I was feeling that way on my own, your experience is encouraging to me because I know what you have been going through all along. Like Holly said small goals and maybe it was Mamabecca (and others), making choices that make me feel better overall, not because I can't have something will be the approach when I am ready. Right now I need to figure out why I am sabotaging myself, trying to make myself feel badly.

Christina, hope your kids feel better soon and you don't end up sick.
Holly, yeah for sticking with the Nia homework. Definitely need to brainstorm on the dinner thing some more. Three kids and a husband are hard to please and I don't want it to be you have to eat this to eat that, but offering healthy choices isn't working well either. Plus why won't anyone sit down and talk in inside voices. Probably because they are 1 1/2, 3 1/2 and 7!

So much for quick posting,
post #1693 of 1694
Thread Starter 
Babygrant--no need to edit your post--but I think that diet talk and weight talk can trigger a lot of people back into places that they don't want to be--and we get a lot of that everywhere else in our lives that I wanted this to be a sort of 'safe' place where we could NOT hear that all the time you know? Weight loss is not the main focus for the most of us (although I can't say that it hasn't crossed my mind as it has/does but wish it didn't as much as it does) but rather a healthy relationship with food and ourselves etc. I hope I didn't scare you away--that certainly is NOT my intent and I would hate if I made you feel that way.

Does that make sense? Agh it's hard to close this thread as it feels weird to answer questions from this thread on the new one... but I"ll post the rest of my post on the other thread!!

post #1694 of 1694

I was wondering if anybody on this thread would be interested in starting a new one. I just stumbled across this and its so old. So I started a new one, here: http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1349282/emotional-eaters-and-being-at-peace-with-food#post_16929606 Please come and join us - especially if you have 'graduated' Id love to hear what worked for you, and how you are all doing!

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